“You always say that. It’s not possible to have too much information. Knowledge is important.”
“Not when it’s about my parents’ sex life.”
“You should be happy,” Reggie said. “You have the Ridge sports equipment, as my dad used to say to me.”
Sam felt the familiar sense of hopelessness that always seemed to swallow him when his parents were around. It wasn’t that he didn’t love them; it was that he didn’t know how to survive them.
Taryn leaned close. “Maybe Kenny or Jack could flash her,” she murmured. “That would be a distraction.”
“Not a good one.”
She patted his hand and took his empty glass. A minute later, she was back and the glass was full.
“You’re a good woman,” he told her.
Lark leaned against Reggie. “Now that your father is retired, he can travel with me, so we’re going on tour together. We’re driving and that makes it fun. This country is so beautiful and we’ve been to the most interesting places. You wouldn’t believe all the places we’ve had sex outdoors.”
Reggie chuckled. “We’ve been caught a few times, but that adds to the fun.”
Sam felt the beginning of a headache.
Kenny leaned forward. “Like where?”
Jack laughed. “Any arrests?”
Reggie shook his head. “We had cops tell us to move it indoors once, but then the guy admitted he was pleased to know people of our age still did it. Plus, Lark is a beautiful woman. Anyone would want to see her na**d.”
Sam glanced toward the door and thought longingly of Mexico.
Conversation continued for another half hour or so. Sam lost track of the number of martinis Taryn poured for him. Finally his friends said they had to leave. Kenny and Jack both said they’d be walking and coming back for their cars in the morning, which meant Taryn had to call Angel for a ride.
“Don’t forget, I want to talk to you about that new technique,” Lark told her.
“I can’t wait,” Taryn said.
Lark looked around the room. “Anyone else want in on the discussion?”
Jack and Kenny glanced at each other, as if not sure what to do. Taryn was already following Lark and Reggie. For Sam, it was a no-brainer. He headed for the front door and didn’t once look back.
* * *
“I LOVE IT,” Dellina said, feeling some of her stress fade away. Whatever else was happening, she could count on her sisters to be there for her. It was, she thought, one of the advantages of family. Knowing that she didn’t have to deal with any single crisis alone.
Ana Raquel preened as she tore off a small piece of bacon and fed it to Caramel. The tiny dog took it delicately, woofed down the piece, then spun as if to say not only was it delicious, she would very much like some more, please.
Fayrene made a couple more notes, then tasted the last mocktail. “I agree. These drinks are perfect,” she told her twin. “With all the different ingredients, the kids can make different flavors and figure out what they like.”
“Using different juices is genius,” Dellina told Ana Raquel.
“I’m glad you think so. I’m going to use what’s left over to flavor the sorbet for the next night so the children can tell their parents how they squeezed juice or used the juicer to extract liquid.”
She reached for a hot dog puff and bit off two thirds of it, then handed the rest to Caramel.
“She can eat all this, right?” she asked.
Fayrene patted the Pomeranian. “She seems to like everything in the people food department and her stomach is rock solid.” She scooped Caramel up onto her lap where the dog did a graceful roll and settled so her tummy was exposed for rubbing.
“I love the sorbets, I love the mocktails and the appetizers are both kid-friendly and delicious,” Dellina said, happy to check so many things off her list.
They’d already gone over the items that would be part of the pasta bar. Dessert was going to be a make-it-yourself sundae. Messy but fun. Heidi had delivered her menu for Sunday; the kids’ band and theater troupe was confirmed. She scanned her list for the children’s program twice more, then tossed the sheets into the air.
“I am officially ready for at least half this weekend and it’s only Tuesday.”
“You’re more than half-ready,” Fayrene told her. “I’ve seen your other list. You got most of the goodie bag deliveries today. The rest come tomorrow. Which means you’re nearly there.”
Dellina hoped she was right. “I have dinner tonight at Henri’s for the final refinement on the menu and then that’s it except for the details.”
“A dinner?” Ana Raquel asked. “Not a tasting.”
They were all seated on the floor of her living room with food and drinks spread out on the coffee table. Overnight boxes spilled out of her office into the hallway. Her dining room table was filled with empty goodie bags and her head was swimming with details. It took a second for her sister’s question to sink in.
“It was supposed to be a tasting, but then it grew. Sam is coming with me, as are his parents.”
“Meeting the parents,” Fayrene teased. “You’re rushing things.”
“It’s work and you know it.”
“Sam is pretty good-looking,” Ana Raquel told her. “I mean, he’s no Greg, but still, he is a nice-looking man. You could do worse.”
Dellina laughed. “I’m sure he would be desperately flattered by that assessment.” She scrambled to her feet. “Thanks for all your help.”
Fayrene picked up Caramel, then stood. “She’s throwing us out.”
“I got that.”
Ana Raquel rose and then hugged Dellina. “You’ll do great. Call me if you need anything. Otherwise, I’ll be up at the hotel at noon on Friday prepping.”
Fayrene hugged Dellina, too. “What she said. You’re prepared.”
Caramel offered a quick kiss on the nose.
Dellina walked them out, then returned to her office where she studied her master list. It was very possible she was ready. She had her emergency supplies—sunscreen, aloe vera, a jumbo first aid kit, an assortment of phone numbers that included everything from auto repair service to the cell number for a private pilot who lived in town and ran an air service out of the local airport.
Ana Raquel was handling all the food and drinks the hotel wasn’t, she’d coordinated with Heidi for the afternoon on the ranch and she and Greg were ready for the wine tasting. Fayrene had the children’s schedule memorized, had helped confirm all the vendors and had verified the extra babysitters would be in place. The mani-pedis were scheduled, the golf course reserved and—
Someone rang her doorbell. She turned and left her office only to start walking faster when she heard pounding on her front door.
“What?” she demanded as she pulled it open.
Sam stood there. His hair was mussed, his eyes were wide and he seemed to be swaying on his feet.
“They’re here,” he told her. “They’re here and it’s worse than I thought.”
* * *
DELLINA GOT SAM inside. She moved papers around until there was room on the sofa, then pointed to a cushion. He stared at it blankly.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Fine. No, I’m not fine. They’re here.”
“We’re talking about your parents, right? Not an alien landing? Because if lizard people are taking over the world, I want to be paid in advance of the party.”
His head snapped up and he stared at her. “You think this is funny.”
“Sort of.” She sat next to him and, without thinking, took his hand in hers. The second they were touching, she was conscious of his maleness so close to her femaleness. Sometimes opposites were a good thing.
“Sam, they’re your parents. It’s not that big a deal.”
“You haven’t met them.” He shifted on the cushion, then swayed just a little.
She peered more closely. “Are you... Are you drunk?”
“Maybe. I don’t know how many martinis Taryn poured. Don’t worry, I walked.”
“You left your parents alone at your house?”
“I had to. They were going to have sex. Or a demonstration. Does it matter? Either way they were going to get na**d.” He shuddered. “Why couldn’t I have normal parents? I could accept some level of eccentricity but not this.”
She wasn’t sure how much of Sam’s parents’ mythology she believed, but she was sure that it would take a fair bit of stress to get Sam drunk in the middle of a workday.
“They can’t be that bad,” she began.
“My mother wants me to change condom brands.”
Dellina frowned. “How does she know which brand you use?”
“The first thing she does when she arrives at my place is go through everything. My cupboards, my drawers. She asked about a vibrator she sent me. It’s pink.” He shuddered.
She pressed her lips together to keep from giggling. Partially because it was funny and honestly, in part, out of horror. “Your mother sent you a vibrator?”
“Yes. It’s designed to stimulate a woman’s G-spot.”
“I’m not sure I know what that is.”
Sam snatched his hand back and glared at her. “Do not under any circumstances say that in front of my mother. Do I make myself clear? If you tell her you don’t know where it is, she will have you na**d in ten seconds and then show you.”
Dellina felt her eyes widen. “She’ll...”
“Touch it. Yes. Or have you touch it. She’ll discuss stimulating it and how it can increase pleasure during orgasm.”
While Dellina didn’t want Sam’s mother anywhere near her girl parts, more pleasure during orgasm didn’t sound that bad.
“Do you still have the vibrator?” she asked as casually as she could.
“What? I don’t know. Maybe. It’s not the point.”
“I suppose not,” she said wistfully, wondering how gross it would be to do a G-spot internet search. Preferably on sites without pictures because there were just some things she didn’t want to see.
“You’re not listening,” he told her. “These are my parents. They’re like locusts. They have to be controlled or they’ll sweep in and destroy everything.”
“Seriously?”
He sucked in a breath. “Fine. They’ll destroy my life and leave everything else untouched.” He stood and paced the length of her living room, then headed down the hall.
She followed him and they ended up in her office. He walked to the window, then faced her.
“I can’t do this,” he told her. “I have to leave the country. I’m driving to Mexico. I can’t spend a week with them. What was I thinking?”
“You’re blowing this out of proportion,” she said gently.
“Am I?” His voice was surprisingly shrill. “Let’s see about that. We have the dinner at Henri’s tonight. If you think they’re completely normal, then I’ll never complain about them again. If I’m right, I get to stay here while they’re in town.”
“All I have is that futon in the other room,” she said without thinking.
“I don’t care if it’s the floor.” He grabbed her by her upper arms. “They’re not human.”
She held in a smile. “I’m pretty sure they are. They’re just a little strange. All parents are.” She was sure if hers were alive she would be complaining about them. For a second she let herself think how nice that would be.
“Oh,” she said as an obvious solution occurred to her. “Why don’t you put your parents up at the hotel? Is it full? Do you want me to make some calls?”
He dropped his arms to his side. “No hotel,” he said flatly. “It’s too risky. I like this town and I want to stay here.”
“Okay, and that has something to do with your parents how?”
“They don’t have boundaries. Not as you know them. They’ll walk down the hall to get ice. But they’ll be na**d. Or they’ll have sex in the lobby.”
She felt her lips twitch. “Sam, you have to take a step back. Seriously, they can’t be that bad.”
“You’re wrong. They’re worse than you think. You’ll meet them tonight and then we’ll talk.”
“I can’t wait,” she said with a grin.
“You say that now.”
CHAPTER TEN
DELLINA ARRIVED EARLY to Henri’s. She spoke with the catering coordinator, then checked out the private room they would be using. Although it was large for a party of four, she wanted to see how the flow worked. After going through where they would hold the wine tasting, she returned to the private dining room to find that Sam and his parents had arrived.
Dellina stopped in the doorway, studying them before they had a chance to notice her. Sam’s dad was tall and rangy. He looked fit and athletic, with an easy smile and a bit of gray at his temples. Lark wore a low-cut dark blue dress the color of her eyes. Her wavy blond hair had been pulled back in two decorative combs. Her makeup was light, her expression pleasant and when she laughed, the happy sound seemed to fill the room.
Sam turned and spotted Dellina.
“You made it,” he said. He spoke easily enough but there was a hint of tension in the muscles in his jaw and the tightness by his eyes.
“I was looking at the rest of the venue for Friday night.” She walked toward the three of them. “I’m Dellina.”