I nodded, standing and stretching. I glanced at the fridge, and Abby nodded just enough for me to notice.
“I could use a beer,” she said. “Want one?”
“Yeah, I’ll take one before I head up,” I said.
Abby strolled across the room and opened the refrigerator door, pulling out two bottles and popping the tops with her hand and the counter. I took one from her as I passed, and she winked. Tyler winked back.
Neither one of them was trying to enable me as much as they were trying to get me through the visit without outing my addiction. Something only the children of an alcoholic could understand.
Tyler led me up the stairs by the hand, and then down the hall to his bedroom.
“Where will Taylor sleep?” I asked.
“The couch,” he answered.
I tipped the bottle in my hand. “Abby doesn’t miss anything, does she?”
“Nope. She’s definitely the matriarch of the family, and once you’re in, she has your back.”
“She’s keeping your secret, too,” I said.
Tyler reached back with one arm and pulled his T-shirt over his head. My eyes scanned the rise and fall of each muscle in his torso. He was already gaining back the weight he’d lost hiking countless miles in the mountains over the summer, looking like his old self and filling out nicely.
“What do you mean?” he asked, tossing me his shirt.
“She knows you’re not in insurance. You basically outed yourself when you told her about my feature.”
“Nah,” he said, unbuttoning his jeans.
I set down my beer and undressed, slipping his shirt quickly over my head. By the time Tyler had stripped down to his boxer briefs, he looked at me with a half-smile.
“I was hoping you’d do that.”
“Well, I knew you didn’t give it to me to wash.”
He laughed once, but his smile quickly faded. “What did you and Abby talk about outside?”
I shrugged, fidgeting with the bottom hem of Tyler’s shirt. “She knows.” I picked up the beer and took a big swing. “That’s why she made sure I had this. She told me to take Finley up on her offer.”
“Which is what?” he asked.
“Help. As in…” I trailed off, feeling my cheeks flush crimson. “I’m a functioning alcoholic, and my family wants to send me to a rehabilitation center.”
“What do you think about that?” he asked, zero judgment in his eyes.
“I think I want to be happy. I think there are a lot of things I want, but I’m afraid to say it out loud in case I screw it up.”
His eyebrows pulled together, hope and desperation weighing down his expression. “Say it, anyway.”
I swallowed, nervous. “I want to be gross with you.”
He laughed once, taking a step and gently pulling me against his chest. He didn’t speak for the longest time, but held me in his arms, touching his cheek to my hair. “Can’t you just say it? Just once?”
I looked up at him, thinking about the way the words would feel on my lips, and what it would do to me if I said them. I wasn’t brave enough for two huge confessions in one day. I lifted up on the balls of my feet, touching my lips to his.
Tyler stood still, letting me kiss him but nothing more. I reached for his hands and guided them up under my shirt until his warm palms were cupping my breasts. His thumb grazed my nipple, and I closed my eyes, letting out a soft sigh.
“I know what you’re doing,” he whispered.
“So?” I said, kissing his neck.
He leaned down, running his tongue from the tender skin behind my ear to the collar of my shirt, then planting tiny kisses all the way up. His hands slid to my back, and he pulled me closer, lifting the shirt so our stomachs touched.
His fingertips ran along my spine, then down to my ass, pulling me closer to him with a gentle squeeze. “Say it, Ellie. I know you do.”
I kneeled down in front of him, and he blew out a flustered breath, perching his hands on his hips. He was instantly hard, stretching from the confines of his boxer briefs. I gripped the elastic waistband and tugged, wet my palm with my tongue, and then reached for him. He groaned as I began from the bottom and licked my way to the base of his shaft.
He involuntarily arched his back and leaned his pelvis forward. My tongue slid, smooth but firm, all the way to his tip, and then I took him into my mouth, humming when I felt his tip graze the back of my throat.
I cupped the base with my right hand, and as I leaned back, I followed with my fingers.
“Fuck,” Tyler said, dragging out the word.
I smiled, leaning down again, taking all of him into my mouth, gagging a bit when his hand cupped the back of my head to press himself deeper. I lightly scraped his skin with my teeth as I came up, relishing the low, guttural sounds he was involuntarily making.
Before I could really get started, he pulled away, sitting on the bed. He shook his head. “You sure know how to change the subject. But I’m not letting you do it this time.”
I took the few steps to stand in front of him, tucking my thumb under the waistband of my underwear, pushing them down and grinning when they gently landed on the floor.
Tyler didn’t move, so I reached for his hand, sliding his fingers between my skin. As I moved his fingers in circles, I leaned my head back and moaned. His fingertips slid more easily the wetter I became, and I could tell his resolve was weakening.
I inserted two of his fingers and two of mine, moaning loudly. He grabbed my ass, and in one motion, turned us and fell on top of me in his childhood bed.
“Say it,” he said, his tip grazing my tender skin.
I looked away from his intense gaze and closed my eyes, my body begging for him to be inside me. “Fuck me,” I said, returning my eyes to his. I reached around, pressing his backside toward me, but he resisted.
“Do you care about me at all?” he asked. “Do you hate me? Is it lukewarm feelings, or we’re really just friends? Whatever it is, Ellie, fucking say it.”
“Why can’t we just do this?” I said, lifting my hips.
He reacted, pulling away. He grazed my jaw line with his lips. “I’ll make you come all night,” he whispered into my ear. “I just need a little honesty.”
“I love you,” I breathed. Before I could finish my sentence, he was sliding inside me and moaning at the same time. I bit his shoulder, trying to muffle my cry as he rocked into me.