But I digress.
Suddenly Carter held me off and shook me somewhat.
"Sit up here and tell me about it," he said. "I'm geting more scared
every minute. You are such an impulsive little Beast, and you turn the
fellows' heads so--look here, is Jane Raleigh lying, or did you run away
and get married to somone?"
I am aware that I should have said, then and there, No. But it seemed a
shame to spoil Things just as they were geting interesting. So I said,
through my tears: "Nobody understands me. Nobody. And I'm so lonely."
"And of course you haven't run away with anyone, have you?"
"Not--exactly."
"Bless you, Bab!" he said. And I might as well say that he kissed me,
because he did, although unexpectedly. Sombody just then moved a Chair
on the porch next door and coughed rather loudly, so Carter drew a long
breath and got up.
"There's somthing about you lately, Bab, that I don't understand," he
said. "You--you're mysterious. That's the word. In a couple of Years
you'll be the real thing."
"Come and see me then," I said in a demure manner. And he went away.
So I sat on my Bench and looked at the sea and dreamed. It seemed to
me that Centuries must have passed since I was a light-hearted girl,
running up and down that beech, paddling, and so forth, with no thought
of the future farther away than my next meal.
Once I lived to eat. Now I merely ate to live, and hardly that. The
fires of Genius must be fed, but no more.
Sitting there, I suddenly made a discovery. The boat house was near me,
and I realize that upstairs, above the Bath-houses, et cetera, there
must be a room or two. The very thought intriged me (a new word for
interest, but coming into use, and sounding well).
Solatude--how I craved it for my work. And here it was, or would be when
I had got the Place fixed up. True, the next door boat-house was close,
but a boat-house is a quiet place, generaly, and I knew that nowhere,
aside from the dessert, is there perfect Silence.
I investagated at once, but found the place locked and the boatman gone.
However, there was a latice, and I climbed up that and got in. I had a
Fright there, as it seemed to be full of people, but I soon saw it was
only the Familey bathing suits hung up to dry. Aside from the odor of
drying things it was a fine study, and I decided to take a small table
there, and the various tools of my Profession.