Ayden bites down on his lip, not saying anything else.
“Are you okay?” I whisper to him.
“I don’t know,” he mumbles under his breath loud enough that only I can hear.
I graze my fingers along his arm. “I’m here if you want to talk about it in the morning.”
He nods, and then we part ways at the top of the stairway. Fiona follows me into my room and slides back into the sleeping bag while I climb into bed.
By the time I pull the covers over me, the sun is kissing the edges of San Diego and glowing across the sky, casting rays of light into my room. Restless, I stay awake to write, silently expressing what I can’t aloud, allowing myself to get lost in my words.
“Lyric, I’m scared,” Fiona says so abruptly I jump and chuck the pen I’m holding like I’m some sort of spastic ninja.
“Jesus, I thought you were sleeping.” I set down my journal, lean over to the side, and peer down at her. “You don’t need to be scared. Ayden’s fine.”
“That’s not what I’m scared about.” She tugs the sleeping bag up higher as she gazes up at the ceiling. “I’m scared I’ll have more nightmares if I shut my eyes.”
“You said you dreamed that Ayden was sleepwalking?”
“Sort of,” she replies vaguely. “Then, when I woke up, I saw him out on the front lawn.”
This isn’t the first time she has said something strange to me. There was an incident when Ayden was sleepwalking and screaming, and Fiona said she felt his scream, whatever that means.
“Does this kind of stuff happen to you a lot? I mean, do you dream about things that happen?”
“I don’t dream it . . . I feel it happen.” With her eyes opened so wide, she looks utterly horrified. She abruptly bolts upright and snatches hold of my hand in desperation. “You can’t tell anyone that. Promise me, Lyric.” When I don’t agree right away, she tightens her hold on my hand. “This is important. I need it to stay a secret, just like you need the fact that you’re dating Ayden to stay a secret.”
I have no idea what’s going on. If she’s blackmailing me. If she’s crazy. If I’m crazy because I kind of believe her.
“All right, I promise,” I say with reluctance. “Just as long as you keep quiet about me and Ayden.”
“I will.” She releases her grasp on my hand and lies back down on the floor. “Thanks, Lyric.” She rolls over on her side, and a minute later, she’s fast asleep, breathing softly.
Wigged out by the last few hours of events, I grab another pen from my nightstand drawer and return to my journal to write. My thoughts drift from what Fiona told me to what happened with Ayden. The pen floats fluidly across the paper, pouring out my soul and the deepest fears I don’t dare utter aloud.
How do I save him
When the world has so much control?
Spinning through life, a turbulent force
Sucking him down into a dark hole.
Sunlight spills upon me,
Drowns me in warmth.
I outrun it for as long as I can.
He’s falling into the dark, begging to be saved,
Pleading for me to save him.
I reach for him,
But the sunlight devours me
And burns my hands,
Singeing me to dust.
Chapter 5
Ayden
Last night was going okay until Lyric mentioned that we’d eventually have to tell our parents we’re dating. I never really thought about it too much, but once she pointed it out, I realized she was right. One day, they’ll find out about us, and I’ll have to face my unworthiness. Deep down, I’ve always known her parents weren’t going to be thrilled about the messed up guy next door dating their cheery, upbeat daughter. I was ruined the moment I was chained up in that house. Those days spent locked under that roof changed me, fucked me up, poisoned my skin with marks that will never go away.
To top off the declining night, I ended up sleepwalking to the front lawn, which was not only terrifying as hell, but also extremely dangerous, all things considering.
I have no memory of what happened until the point when Lyric woke me up, yet the moment Lila and Ethan return home the next afternoon, they expect me to recount the details to them.
After Kale, Everson, and Fiona are set up at the table, doing their homework, the three of us sit down in the living room with cups of coffee and cookies because Lila believes sugar eases tense situations.
“I really can’t tell you too much about what happened.” I pick at a loose thread in the knee of my jeans. “All I can remember is waking up and seeing Lyric.”
Lyric, poor Lyric.
Worried out of her mind
As she stared into my eyes
And tried to read what was hidden in my mind.
What would she see if she broke through the lock?
What I witnessed all those days I was trapped in the dark?
I wish she never had to see that side of me.
Wish. Wish. Wish.
Wish I could be the guy she deserves,
The one who touches her with everything,
Gives her everything,
Could give her undying love.
“What about the car?” Lila brings the brim of a coffee mug to her mouth and sips. She’s been pretending to be calm, but under the surface, I can tell she’s frightened about the ordeal.
“I didn’t really notice it.” I stuff the rest of the cookie into my mouth then wipe my hands off. “Lyric did.”
“Lyric said you were staring at it.” Ethan threads his fingers through Lila’s to comfort her. “And then it drove away the moment you got into the house.”