The following day Clive replied to his wife by cable: "As it seems to

make no unpleasant difference to you I have concluded to remain in New

York. Please take whatever steps you may find most convenient and

agreeable for yourself."

And, following this he wrote her: "I am inexpressibly sorry to cause you any new annoyance and

to arouse once more your just impatience and resentment. But

I see no use in a recapitulation of my shortcomings and of

your own many disappointments in the man you married.

"Please remember that I have always assumed all blame for our

marriage; and that I shall always charge myself with it. I

have no reply to make to your reproaches,--no defence; I was

not in love with you when I married you--which is as serious

an offence as any man can perpetrate toward any woman. And I

do not now blame you for a very natural refusal to tolerate

anything approaching the sympathy and intimacy that ought to

exist between husband and wife.

"I did entertain a hazy idea that affection and perhaps love

might be ultimately possible even under the circumstances of

such a marriage as ours; and in a youthful, ignorant, and

inexperienced way I attempted to bring it about. My notions

of our mutual obligations were very vague and indefinite.

"Please believe I did not realise how utterly distasteful any

such ideas were to you, and how deep was your personal

disinclination for the man you married.

"I understand now how many mistakes I made before I finally

rid you of myself, and gave you a chance to live your life in

your own way unharassed by the interference of a young,

ignorant, and probably aggressive man.

"Your aversion to motherhood was, after all, your own affair.

Man has no right to demand that of woman. I took a very

bullying and intolerant attitude toward you--not, as I now

realise, from any real conviction on the subject, but because

I liked and wanted children, and also because I was

influenced by the cant of the hour--the fashion being to

demand of woman, on ethical grounds, quantitative

reproduction as a marriage offering to the Almighty. As

though indiscriminate and wholesale addition to humanity were

an admirable and religious duty. Nothing, even in the Old

Testament, is more stupid than such a doctrine; no child

should ever be born unwelcome to both parents.

"I am sorry I could not find your circle of friends

interesting. I sometimes think I might have, had you and I

been mutually sympathetic. But the situation was impossible;

our ideas, interests, convictions, tastes, were radically at

variance; we had absolutely nothing in common to build on.

What marriage ties could endure the strain of such

conditions? The fault was mine, Winifred; I am sorry for

you.




readonlinefreebook.com Copyright 2016 - 2024