There were footsteps and voices at some point and I stiffened in his arms. I didn’t know who came, but I felt Aiden shake his head, and then the footsteps retreated.
Gods, I could think—really think—after what felt like forever. But every thought was overshadowed by the pain inside me. The sharp spearing I’d felt in the bathroom—I understood it now. My heart and my soul had been screaming out, trying to reach me. That pain was everywhere now, clamping down on me from all sides.
I couldn’t escape all the things I said and done since I’d Awakened. From the moment I’d connected with Seth, I’d turned into a living, breathing embodiment of my worst fear and I hadn’t even realized it. Seth and what he wanted had consumed me until there had been nothing left, and I’d thought I was stronger than that.
Oh gods, the things I’d said to Aiden horrified and sickened me. The things Seth had said he wanted to do to me—that I’d wanted him to do, back when we’d been connected… Now I wanted to crawl out of my skin, to shower for years, and I didn’t think I’d ever feel the same again even then.
How Aiden could still hold me was beyond my comprehension. I clearly remembered threatening to kill Deacon about twenty times. My behavior had forced him to do the unthinkable—place me on the Elixir. I knew that had to have killed a part of him.
I remembered all the little things. My Seth? Oh, yuck. I wanted to scrub out my brain with detergent. And those things I’d yelled when I fought Aiden—actually fought Aiden? Scrub my brain? Add mouth and soul to that laundry list.
“Shh,” Aiden murmured, smoothing a hand along my back. “It’s okay. Everything is okay, agapi mou. You’re here now and I have you.”
I gripped the collar of his torn shirt with my aching hands. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Aiden. I’m sorry.”
“Stop.” He leaned back, but I followed him, keeping my face pressed to his chest. “Alex.”
I shook my head, my breath catching on another sob.
“Look at me.”
Tears streamed down my face, and he carefully cradled my cheeks, forcing me to look up. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut, but I also needed to see him, even if it was just his blurry face right now.
“How can you look at me?” I asked. “How can you stand to touch me?”
His brows furrowed and he became very serious. “How could I not, Alex? I don’t blame you for what happened. The things you did and said weren’t you. I know that. I’ve always known that.”
“But it was me.”
“No.” His voice was firm, eyes pure silver. “It was a shell of you, Alex. You were there, in the background, but it wasn’t you. It wasn’t the Alex I love, but you’re here now and that’s all that matters. That’s it. Nothing else does.”
His blind faith in me, his acceptance and forgiveness, brought forth another round of waterworks. I cried so much that I don’t think I could ever cry again, and when it was finally over, I couldn’t lift my head from his chest.
The sun was starting to set, and the temperature was dropping when Aiden pressed his lips against the top of my head. “Are you ready?”
No, I wanted to say, because I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to face everyone. Besides turning into Evil Alex, I’d also been dopey, hiding-in-closets Alex.
But I drew in a breath and it felt okay, good even. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeated, and he stood, keeping me nestled close to his chest, my cheek resting on his shoulder.
Aiden took one step, and a fissure of unnatural energy rolled down my spine—godly energy. The marks of the Apollyon roared to life, whipping over my skin. His arms stiffened around me as he turned, lifting his head to the sky. Gods could shield their presence if they wanted to—Apollo had for months—but we both felt the ripple of power.
“This isn’t good,” I said, stirring in his arms.
He placed me on my feet, his hands on my hips. One look into his stormy eyes and I knew he was thinking the same thing.
Before he could open his mouth, a high-pitched wail rattled the branches overhead. Air around us stilled, and then the sound of wings beating pulled the breath from my lungs in a painful rush.
Aiden shoved me behind him—actually shoved me behind him. “Go back to the house now, Alex. The wards will keep them out.”
What? And leave him? He was insane. Heart leaping into my throat, I shook my head. “No. No—”
Another shriek turned my blood ice-cold. Then a great howl barreled through the trees, blowing my hair back from my face.
The furies arrived, darting down to earth like heat-seeking missiles with “Alex” written all over them. Each hit the ground in a crouch, knocking up plumes of dirt and small pebbles.
They were beautiful—the two furies. All pale and shimmering skin and long, flowing blonde curls as they rose simultaneously, their bodies moving sinuously as one stepped forward, her bare feet sinking deep into the soil.
Thunder cracked the air and a flash of blinding light exploded. Throwing up my arm, I stumbled back and reached out for Aiden. Pulse pounding, my fingers wrapped around his thick forearm.
When the light receded, a god stood between the two furies, and my heart felt like it stopped right then and there. I’d seen him before. Oh, gods, I’d seen him.
Honey-colored hair brushed his shoulders, framing a square, defiant chin and features that were angelic and pure—peaceful, even.
Thanatos.
Electricity sparked from his all-white eyes. “I may not be able to kill you, Apollyon, but I can make sure you cannot reach the First.”
“Wait!” Aiden yelled, one hand curling around the hilt of the dagger. “She’s broken—”