To complicate the situation, I wasn’t the only one who’d come to love and trust her. My children loved her, too.
“Sarah,” I whispered, without realizing I’d said her name aloud.
“What about Sarah?”
Caught off guard, I looked up. “Just the other day she asked me if Shay could be her backup mother.”
Kevin grinned. “She always did have a wonderful way of expressing her thoughts. Did you come to me looking for advice?” Kevin asked.
“Please.” If my friend had a solution, I was more than willing to hear it.
“You’ve endured worse. You and Shay will get through this, too.”
I wanted to believe that was possible, but doubts had started to creep in, strangling my hopes for the future. If the person responsible didn’t step forward and make it right, I didn’t know what would happen between Shay and me.
Before I left his office, Kevin patted my back. I was grateful for his advice and encouragement.
—
Following my visit to Hope Center, I returned to the office and stayed late. Mary Lou left at five and I made a quick trip to the house to make sure Mark and Sarah had dinner, but I had nothing to eat myself. My stomach had been in knots ever since my talk with Alex, my appetite nonexistent. I hadn’t eaten more than a sandwich all day.
The elder meeting was scheduled for seven o’clock, which gave the church council enough time to get home from their day jobs and grab a quick bite of dinner. Once everyone was assembled, I explained the situation.
There were plenty of shocked faces. I explained that I’d talked to Shay and she’d told me she hadn’t taken the money. I believed her. As I spoke I saw the look of the men and women around the table. They had doubts. To be fair, I didn’t blame them. I went on to explain that she knew who was responsible but had promised that she wouldn’t tell. In return, the thief would make restitution.
The room erupted in discussion, and from the tidbits I heard, a few were willing to accept Shay’s word. Right away a proposition was brought before the council. It didn’t take long for a decision to be made. It was unanimous that Shay would no longer be allowed to rent the apartment.
The elders left and I remained in the small conference room, my head in my hands. Hearing a noise, I glanced up and saw that it was Alex Turnbull.
“I want you to know how sorry I am, Pastor,” Alex said.
“I know. I appreciate how hard this has been on you as well.”
Alex drew closer to the table. “I hope you know that I have no hard feelings toward Shay. I realize you care for her.”
I couldn’t deny it. Not only was I devastated, my heart was broken. The full impact had yet to hit me. I didn’t know how I was going to break the news to Mark and Sarah. The more I thought about it, the more depressed I became. I toyed with the idea of simply letting them think Shay was moving away and avoid telling them why. I guess I’d figure out what to say when the time came.
“Pastor, would you like me to be the one to tell Shay?” Alex asked, breaking into my thoughts.
It would be easier on me for sure, but as uncomfortable as it would be, I felt I needed to be the one to do it.
A part of me was curious to find out why someone as intelligent as Shay would risk so much because of a promise. Second chances. She would always be willing to give someone else another chance. Admirable and devastating, both at once.
“Pastor?” Alex asked, once more interrupting my thoughts.
“I appreciate the offer,” I told him, “but I need to be the one.”
Alex nodded as if he understood. “Would you like me to come with you?”
I considered it but only briefly. “No. I was the one who offered to let Shay move into the apartment; I’ll be the one to explain that she needs to leave before the end of the month.”
We talked for a couple minutes longer. I knew I should get back to Mark and Sarah, but I didn’t want this task hanging over my head a minute longer than necessary.
My steps were filled with dread as I walked around to the front of the apartment. The porch light was turned on, which generally meant Shay was home. I knew she often stayed up late studying on nights she wasn’t attending classes.
I don’t know how long I stood outside her front door before I found the courage to knock.
It took only a minute or two for Shay to answer. Her eyes widened when she saw it was me.
“Drew?”
“Shay,” I said, my heart pounding with a heaviness I had only rarely experienced. “We need to talk.”
“Come in,” I said, ushering Drew inside my apartment. He looked pale and drawn. Earlier I’d seen several cars pull into the parking area. I didn’t know of any scheduled meeting, but I wasn’t privy to all the inner workings of the church.
Drew stood with his hands tucked in his back pockets as if he wasn’t sure what to do with them.
My stomach tightened with anticipation. I had a feeling I knew what was coming.
We stood staring at each other for several minutes before Drew got to the reason for his visit. I didn’t invite him to sit; I preferred to face whatever he had to say while standing.
“Shay,” he said, softly, tentatively. I detected a pleading quality to his voice. “I’m going to ask you again…no, not ask, I’m pleading with you. Will you tell me what I need to know? Who took that money? This isn’t the first time, is it? This has been ongoing for a while, hasn’t it?”
He didn’t give me a chance to answer.
Plowing his fingers through his hair, he paced the compact living space as if the thought had only recently occurred to him. “This is slowly starting to make sense. Lloyd, bless his heart, is good. But it would be easy for someone to take funds without him knowing. Someone. Anyone could steal before Lloyd made the deposit.” He paused and looked up, his eyes rounding with the thought. “You’re protecting whoever this is, Shay. I can’t allow you to do that. You need to tell me who’s responsible.”
I carefully considered my response, weighing my options. “I already told you, I can’t.”
“Shay, please.”
I wavered, and I saw that it gave Drew hope. “Please don’t ask me again.”
“Did you speak to this person?”
“You know I did.”
“Recently?”
“Yes.” I was afraid of saying too much for fear he would guess. It would devastate him and I refused to do that.
“Today?” he pressed.
Rather than answer verbally, I nodded.
His shoulders sank. “It’s Linda, isn’t it?”
My eyes slammed shut. “Don’t do this, Drew. Don’t play this guessing game with me. I can’t and I won’t tell you, so don’t ask me again.”
Disappointment flashed in his eyes as if he’d hoped for more. More was something I couldn’t give him. I looked away, refusing to meet his gaze.
“Do you have anything else you can tell me?” he asked, his words weighed down with what sounded like disappointment and frustration.
“No. Nothing,” I whispered past the lump in my throat. He didn’t understand how unbelievably hard it was for me to maintain my silence.
“I had hoped that out of respect for me, you would trust me enough with the truth.”
I exhaled and briefly looked up. “You can’t guilt me into breaking my word, Drew. Eventually you’ll learn the truth.”
“What if I don’t? What if this person refuses to come forward? Then what?”
I had no answer. There was no guarantee I would be exonerated. I hoped, I trusted, but at this point that was all I could do.
Drew walked to the other side of the living area and rammed his hands through his hair.
“You claim you love me.”
“I do.” With everything in me, I longed to shout from the rooftops how much I loved him.
“Then please tell me the truth. Once I know, then I can make everything right again.”
“Now you’re trying to bribe me. Drew, don’t you see what you’re doing?”
“I’m desperate, Shay. Desperate,” he repeated.
I had to bite down on my tongue to keep from speaking.