He grabbed her shoulders. “Please. What was I supposed to say?”
“It might’ve been hard in the beginning, but not now. After I knew what you were, then you could’ve told me the truth.” She hated him. Hated him for being what he was, for standing in front of her wearing the face she loved.
But I do love him. I love him even when I hate him. Even back then when he could do that to me. That’s the worst part. Worse than dying. Worse even than our walls crumbling.
“I know,” he said. “I know.”
“You don’t know anything. And I don’t want to be with you anymore.” She thought she wanted to see his face when she said it, that she wanted to see pain, but it only made her own hurt worse.
He turned away and put his hand on his head. For a second she thought he’d turn and leave.
“I can’t—leave you alone yet. I’m sorry. But Athena and Hermes are still here.”
That’s right. I need you. I need a god, to keep other gods from ruining our lives again. But even then a sliver inside her was glad. He’d been so much a part of her. For so many thousand years. Cutting him out so fast felt like it would tear half her chest away.
“We aren’t going to run from them anymore, are we?” she asked.
“I don’t think we’d make it if we tried.”
“So what do we do then? How do we keep my family safe? How do we keep them away from Andie and Henry?”
Aidan glanced up and she nodded. Yes. I know them too.
“Let me talk to Athena,” he said. “Find out exactly what she’s after. They want to make an ally of you. But I don’t know why, or against what.”
“We won’t have much time to choose sides,” she said, and suddenly knew it was true.
Aidan reached out hesitantly and touched her cheek. His hand was so warm and her heart thumped like it always had. She let it linger there for a moment, then brushed it away.
“Don’t. It’s not like that anymore.”
“I love you,” he said. “I made a mistake, a long time ago. It was a god’s mistake, so it was big. But I’m sorry. I’ve been sorry for thousands of years.”
He was sorry. But what did he know about time or consequences? How long could you hold a grudge when someone broke your life like an unwanted toy? Was a thousand years enough? Two?
“So you’ll talk to them?” she asked. “And come back?”
“As soon as I can.”
She reached out and pulled his wet hood over his head.
“You’re still you,” he said softly. “And I’m still me.”
“I know,” she said. We are, and we aren’t. Her fingers trailed down the front of his sweatshirt. “Be careful.”
He nodded. “I’m going to swing by my house first and tear up that note I left. I’ll call you soon.”
16
YOU CAN RUN
Leaves had already found their way back into the yard, blown in from the neighbors’ or fallen down from the last clinging bunches high up in the maple branches. It was only a scattering. Their dad wouldn’t make them rake again, but he’d be in the yard on his own next weekend, clearing out the last of them.
As Cassandra walked up the driveway, she tried to be unsurprised that the house was still her house. That she still remembered growing up in it, sliding down the banister and almost breaking her leg, and decorating sugar cookie reindeer with her mom, candy sprinkles spread out across the tabletop. It still felt like it was hers.
It’s mine, like Troy is mine. And I’m me, and I’m not me.
She walked through the door and the heat inside immediately made her nose run. By the time she got a tissue from the bathroom across from the den, her fingers tingled and the sting of thaw bit the tops of her ears. Across the hall, machine-gun fire issued from the TV. The backs of Andie and Henry’s heads sat above the brown suede of the couch while they watched a movie.
I saw you die. I was there on the wall when you fought Achilles.
The memory was completely clear. He’d fought so well, so bold and fast, that for an instant she’d thought her vision could be wrong and Hector would win. She’d hoped so, right until the moment he stumbled. Right until the moment Achilles’ spear thrust into his chest. Andromache had screamed then, and Cassandra had wanted to cover her eyes. No one should have to remember the sight of their husband trying frantically to get a spear out of his chest while someone else drove it farther in.
She shivered hard, and wet, brittle clothes rattled on her body. Andie turned on the couch and her mouth dropped open.