“What?”
Avery pointed to the bathroom. “We were just in there. How did all this happen so quickly?”
Phillip shrugged. “Your boy decided. Called it in, and the house rallied real quick. That’s all I can say.”
“Where is Caden? I know you know.”
“You haven’t called him?”
I looked at my phone. There was a text from Kevin. Call me! Got kicked out because of your boyfriend! A second one from Sheila. Did you talk to Kevin yet? Then nothing. It was blank. No calls. The empty screen was like a knife plunged into my chest.
Caden had left me, like my mom did.
No. I pushed that fear away, stomping it down.
“Can I use your phone?” I didn’t know what was going on between Caden and me. He might not answer my call, but he would answer a call from one of his fraternity brothers.
“Why?”
“My phone’s not working.”
He snorted. “Since now?”
“Yes.” I dropped it and stomped a foot on it. Fine, you fucker. I held my hand out. “Let me make one call.”
He swore, but handed me his phone. “Fine, but I’m going to cover my own ass if he doesn’t want to hear from you.”
My hand closed around the phone like it was a life raft. “Deal.”
I dialed Caden. His voice came on the line. “What’s up?”
“Caden,” I started.
Phillip yelled over my shoulder, “I’m sorry. She took my phone. I’m trying to get it back now.” He reached for it, but I swatted his hand away. I shot him a dark look, and he held up both of his hands.
For good measure, I left. If I kept moving, the world wouldn’t crash down on me.
I went up the stairs and into the hallway. “Hey. It’s me. I didn’t know if you would answer my call.” I made one more turn, went down the hallway where I’d first met Caden, and out the side door.
“What are you doing on Phillip’s phone?”
“Ah. Fuck.” A large truck blocked my way. More guys were unloading it, taking kegs to the backyard.
“I think your house is having a party tonight.”
“That’s why you’re calling?”
“No.” The guys began taking the kegs past me to the backyard. I cupped my hand around the phone, lowering my voice. “I had to call. I broke down. I don’t know why—well, I think I do, but I know you saw that.”
“I saw you in another guy’s arms. Yes.”
I had to stop. Everything had to stop. This was it.
Closing my eyes, I took a breath. I heard the door open behind me. I didn’t know who was there. I didn’t look. Whether it was Phillip coming for his phone or Avery, or even Claudia, I held up a hand, hoping they’d stop. I needed this time, right now.
“I am in love with you.”
There it was. It was out there. I couldn’t take it back. I kept going, “Kevin said stupid stuff, but that’s Kevin. He’s stupid, and for some reason I broke down.” I paused. He wasn’t saying anything. “I think maybe I should do this in person—”
I considered that. Him standing in front of me, waiting, completely shut down as I poured out my heart. No. Now was good. I was going for now.
“Kevin came into my life when my mom left. It happened so fast. She was gone, we were burying her, and then boom. I had a new family. And that family came with a stepbrother who was my high school crush. He was everyone’s high school crush. I don’t understand it. I can’t really explain it, but I had an aching hole in me, and I used stupid daydreams and fantasies to cover it up.” Still no response. “Have you ever done that? Used alcohol or cupcakes to fill in something you don’t want to feel? That’s what I did, but on an extreme level. I couldn’t handle losing my mom. What daughter can? Especially when she’s fifteen. My mom was gone, and then Kevin was there, and I let it all get out of hand. You have to know that whatever you saw in his bedroom earlier, my feelings for Kevin never had anything to do with him. It was all my mom.”
The ache was still there. I felt it sizzling, burnishing my skin as I talked about it, but it wasn’t as bad. Some of it had lessened. There was still more to come. I knew that. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but Caden could help me.
He just had to be in front of me. He had to be with me.
I bent down, crouching on the balls of my feet, and I wrapped my arms around my knees. My eyes closed, and I whispered into the phone. “I clung to something that wasn’t real. But you, you’re real. You make me feel loved. You make me feel whole. You put me back together.”
I paused. I had to. My lungs needed air, and after filling them up, I opened my mouth to start again.
“It’s been you since you asked if something was wrong with me.” I smiled now, in the midst of all of it. “It’s been you since I hit you by accident in the hall at the frat house.” I hugged my legs even tighter, burrowing my forehead into my knees. “I love you, Caden. It’s been you this whole time. If anyone’s the fairy tale, it’s you.”
I had nothing more. My chest hurt. My lungs hurt. Everything hurt because I’d poured out all I had to him.
There was silence, complete and agonizing silence.
Finally I heard from the phone, “Fairy tales end, Summer.”
Wait—that voice was too close, too loud. I looked up, and he was there. He was gorgeous. His hair was messy, like he’d raked a hand through it, and it made me love him even more. His eyes were fixed right on me, cloudy with emotion.