“I see it.”
“See what?”
“Why they both like you so much.”
He’d been through hell, and was still there, trying to get back, yet he was focused on me, on his brothers.
I felt a pang in my chest. “He respects you too, you know.”
“No, he doesn’t.”
“He doe—”
“He fears me.” Colton’s eyes were clear and focused. He meant what he said, and he was okay with it. There was no sorrow, just a concise analysis. “I make him nervous because it could’ve been him. That makes him feel guilty for not becoming what Caden has become. It’s easier to deny something than accept it.”
I…any words I might’ve formed died in my throat. I had nothing. I glanced down at my lap before looking at him once again. My eyes had a traitorous mist over the top of them.
“Marcus isn’t that bad,” I said.
“You’re right. He’s not. Caden was worse.”
“What do you mean?”
His smile faded. “Nothing. I think that’s for Caden to say. And look at me, I’m talking shit about my brothers when they were nice enough to pick me up, take me to get some food, and introduce me to a pretty girl.” He tried to bolster his smile so it was less haunting. He failed. “You’ll have to forgive me. I’ve just met you, but my smooth social skills aren’t what they once were. I tend to rush things now. My therapist keeps telling me to slow shit down.”
“You don’t have to slow anything down with me.”
“Still.” He pointed to my face. “I can tell I’m scaring you. That wasn’t my intent. I’m sorry for that.”
“You didn’t.”
“It’s okay.”
“You didn’t.” I leaned forward and whispered since Caden and Marcus were coming back with our food. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m not the smooth social skiller you were either.”
“Smooth social skiller.” He bent his head toward the table, his shoulders jerking in silent laughter. “You’re right. We can’t all be smooth criminals, you know.”
I shook my head, dead serious. “Fuck no.”
Caden and Marcus were sitting down.
I added, “But it’s something to aspire to.”
Colton barked out an abrupt laugh. “Yes. Yes, it is, I guess.” His laughter continued until he had tears in his eyes, but they were the good tears. The healing kind. The kind you wanted to see because they brought relief. They brought out the side that was good, like the sun appearing for the first time in months.
Caden and Marcus went still, and I knew what they were thinking.
I wasn’t the sun.
I was just a reprieve in the darkness.
Colton grasped my hand across the table and squeezed it. “Thank you.” He seemed a little choked up, but moved right on to his food.
An hour later, we were going to take Colton home, but Marcus volunteered.
“You sure?” Caden asked, a slight frown on his face.
“Yeah.” Marcus stood and flicked a hand toward his twin. “Come on. I owe you a heart-to-heart anyway.” His jaw firmed. “And I owe mom a piece of my mind too.”
A sheen of tears appeared over Colton’s eyes, but he blinked them back and cleared his throat. “No, it’s good.” He stood next to Marcus, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “I think it’s time too.”
Caden didn’t seem convinced, and to be honest, neither was I. Since meeting Colton, even in this short amount of time, I’d grown protective of him. Maybe I’d inherited some of Caden’s feelings concerning his brother, or maybe I’d caught Marcus’ hesitation. Either way, I found myself holding my breath, hoping everything would be okay between the twins. I didn’t want Marcus to do more damage than was already done.
Staring at the two side by side, the similarities were glaring. So were the differences.
Marcus had personality just standing there. While despite his jokes and teasing, Colton looked like a shell of a person. If his pain was an ocean, his facade was the whitecaps on top. They were there if there was enough force to conjure them, and they distracted from what was underneath, but I saw through them.
Colton’s eyes dropped to mine, and the good-natured smile on his face dimmed into his real emotion: fear. He was scared just like I was, and like I guessed Caden was too.
“Okay. I see the judgment.” Marcus cursed, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shifting back on his heels. “Chill the fuck out. I’ve been around, but I’ve not waded into the foray, if you can call it like that. I’m doing it now. So I’m going to take Colton home. I’m going to grovel and probably cry trying to make it up to the guy who shared the womb with me.” He closed his eyes, and his shoulders lifted as he took a short breath. He coughed again. “You guys know what I mean.”
“And Mom?” Caden asked.
“Mom’s been worse than me,” Marcus said.
Colton looked at the ground, shifting away so his back was to the conversation. He began picking at imaginary lint.
Marcus gentled his tone. “I was never in denial. I knew it was bad, I was just—”
“Scared.”
Marcus looked over, but Colton hadn’t looked back as he cut in.
“Yeah. I was scared,” Marcus said. “But Mom’s in denial. It’s time we talked to her.”