The confession he had promised was the one painful incident of

this time. He consulted the old prince, and with his sanction

gave Kitty his diary, in which there was written the confession

that tortured him. He had written this diary at the time with a

view to his future wife. Two things caused him anguish: his lack

of purity and his lack of faith. His confession of unbelief

passed unnoticed. She was religious, had never doubted the

truths of religion, but his external unbelief did not affect her

in the least. Through love she knew all his soul, and in his

soul she saw what she wanted, and that such a state of soul

should be called unbelieving was to her a matter of no account.

The other confession set her weeping bitterly.

Levin, not without an inner struggle, handed her his diary. He

knew that between him and her there could not be, and should not

be, secrets, and so he had decided that so it must be. But he

had not realized what an effect it would have on her, he had not

put himself in her place. It was only when the same evening he

came to their house before the theater, went into her room and

saw her tear-stained, pitiful, sweet face, miserable with

suffering he had caused and nothing could undo, he felt the abyss

that separated his shameful past from her dovelike purity, and

was appalled at what he had done.

"Take them, take these dreadful books!" she said, pushing away

the notebooks lying before her on the table. "Why did you give

them me? No, it was better anyway," she added, touched by his

despairing face. "But it's awful, awful!"

His head sank, and he was silent. He could say nothing.

"You can't forgive me," he whispered.

"Yes, I forgive you; but it's terrible!"

But his happiness was so immense that this confession did not

shatter it, it only added another shade to it. She forgave him;

but from that time more than ever he considered himself unworthy

of her, morally bowed down lower than ever before her, and prized

more highly than ever his undeserved happiness.




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