He instantly stilled.
There was so much to say, and Jade was very much afraid there wasn’t enough time to truly say anything. Nothing that mattered, anyway.
Az drew in a deep, shuddering breath and stepped away from her. “I should . . . see about bandaging your arm.”
The arm didn’t hurt anymore. Actually, the deep wound was closing. Probably thanks to that angel blood still pumping through her body.
“Don’t worry about it,” she whispered as she lifted a hand to her head. That super speedy bit just didn’t work so well for her. “Az, I’m sorry.”
He blinked. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Yes, she did. Jade turned away from him. “Where are we?” She just threw out the question to buy herself more time. If Az had brought her there, then she knew it was a safe place. She trusted him.
He shouldn’t trust her.
“It’s one of Sam’s safe houses in New Orleans.”
Ah, Sammael again. The Fallen who liked to be prepared.
“While I was . . . following him a while back, I found this place.”
Glancing over her shoulder, Jade lifted a brow. “Following him?” She asked carefully.
“I intended to kill him.”
“Not very angel-like of you,” she whispered.
His head cocked and his gaze sharpened on her. “But then, I’m not an angel, am I?”
Was she supposed to be afraid of him? “I should never have brought you into this mess.” By helping her, he’d lost the one thing he wanted most.
That big trip back upstairs.
“I chose to help you.” The wooden floor creaked beneath his feet.
“And I knew the minute I saw you,” she stared down at her hands, realizing that she’d clenched them into fists, “that I would use you.”
The words fell into the room and were followed by thick silence.
Her heart raced too fast, and she forced herself to lift her chin and face him. “That’s why I’m sorry, Azrael. You came to my aid, and I—selfishly—knew just how powerful you were. I tried to play on your emotions. I wanted you to be willing to fight for me. To do anything for me . . . because I realized you were the muscle I needed to destroy Brandt.” She swallowed. He wasn’t talking, and she was just digging one very big hole for herself. “I didn’t care what you wanted or what kind of life you might have. I just wanted to use you to kill the nightmare stalking me.”
He deserved this truth. They had the bullets now. She could take them and face Brandt on her own. Az could walk away.
Maybe even get his heaven back.
“You played on my emotions?” He repeated, voice quiet. “How?”
Now this was her shame. “By seducing you.”
She waited for his rage. Instead, he just laughed.
“Uh, Az?” Did he laugh when he was really pissed?
Slowly, his laughter faded. “I was using you.”
That hurt, but the truth often did.
He stalked toward her. “A human. One being hunted. Pursued.” His head cocked to the right as he studied her. “Helping you was going to be my first step toward redemption.”
“Instead I just led you deeper into hell.” What had he called her? His temptation.
She wanted to be more, but knew now that would never be. “You need to walk away from me,” she told him. “You’ve already crossed too many lines.” Fighting other angels, cheating death. “If you want that redemption, then leave me.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I want you to have the chance to get the things you need. I want you to be able to go back home.” Jade licked her lips. “I won’t let you trade your dreams for my life.” That didn’t seem like a fair exchange to her.
His gaze dropped to her mouth. “There is no trade. Heaven is gone. I won’t be going back.”
Her heart ached. “If you had the chance—”
“I’m not leaving you.” His mouth took hers. Rough, hard, but without the rage of moments before. Just wild heat and hunger and a passion that burned her from the inside out.
Her hands came up and pressed against his chest. She leaned into his kiss, helpless to back away this time. Desire quickened within her.
One more time.
Just once more, before the end game. Once more.
His lips lifted from hers. “I was . . . afraid.” The confession was gruff, and the last thing she expected.
Jade could only stare up at him.
“Bastion took you when I should have been protecting you. If you’d died . . .” His gaze seemed to darken. “I’m not sure what I would have done.”