"Very smoothly, in a casually sexy way. There's something about the way he holds you. Closer than you'd thought he would."
Barbara prayed as they walked. Oh, please, Paul. Take me dancing and hold me close! "It's as if when he's dancing, he lets his guard down. But otherwise, his guard seems to be up all the time."
"Against what?"
"Against being intimate. I guess against falling in love."
Barbara tried thinking about that more than anything else when she was trying to fall asleep that night but couldn't, for thinking about Paul Riordan and her hunger. But she would not raid the ice box again, for fear of getting fat and being unattractive to Paul.
Gail was so beautiful. Barbara still believed her friend was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, and the nicest. But Paul had given Gail only a few goodnight pecks on the cheek. They could hardly even be called kisses.
And he had his guard up all the time, against being intimate; against falling in love.
Why?, Barbara began wondering. Why hadn't Paul been turned on from dating someone as beautiful and sweet as Gail?
Why hadn't Paul taken more interest in herself? She didn't think she was too bad-looking.
Was something wrong with Paul, not to be turned on by either of them?
Barbara couldn't deny herself any longer. Her growing feelings for Paul Riordan created a hunger for food in her she could not resist. She leaped out of bed and again raided her mother's icebox.
The next night, in Gail's room again, Barbara learned just one thing more from her friend about Paul Riordan.
"On one date, when I thought maybe he was ready to give me more than just a peck on the cheek, he backed off and said he had to explain something. He said he liked me, but we would have to be more like brother and sister than lovers."
He felt you were like a sister to him? It both surprised and puzzled Barbara. It also disturbed her. For some reason, couldn't he fall in love?
Something was definitely wrong. She had tried to keep it out of her mind, but couldn't help wondering... She had heard about some men. They were incapable of loving a woman.
Oh, dear God, no! she agonized in bed again. "Don't make that Paul Riordan's problem!"