Barbara needed time to absorb what he was saying. But there was just too much to take in, and more she thought he still had to say.
"Sometimes she recognized me when I visited her, sometimes not. Her memory is mainly things that happened before we lost our son. For that, I thank God. She doesn't seem to know what's going on in the present, and is always cheerful. To her, we're still a young married couple and have not yet had a child."
Stephen hesitated before going on, looking off toward the river. Barbara wondered what more, if anything, he had to tell her. But it already explained a lot to her.
Now I understand the sadness in him that he always tries to keep hidden. He is still married, but in reality, he does not have a wife anymore. She virtually left his life when their son was killed, and she blamed herself for his death. That alone could have led to her stroke.
And no wonder he asks about Tim and loves him. Tim reminds him of the son he once had.
She felt very sorry for Stephen and his wife, but did not yet know how to respond to what she had heard. It was obviously not easy for him to talk about it, to her or anyone.
Stephen looked at Barbara again, as if hoping she would understand what he was now about to say.
"I loved her very much, and made a vow to myself that I would never divorce her. I've been faithful to her these five years since she became ill, even though I've been tempted several times. But now, my feelings for you make it harder. Since I made that vow, I never fell in love with anyone, until you."
Barbara's heart leapt. Then he does love me! But of course I knew that. It's just wonderful to hear him say it. Or is it? "
I want to remain faithful to her, but it isn't as easy, now. I've never been so tempted before, to be unfaithful."
She finally thought she could tell him. "I love you, too, Stephen. But I don't want you to be unfaithful to your wife, either. That's why I didn't want to meet you at a hotel, but here in the outdoors."
She would not add, Because I'm a woman of needs and passions, just as you are a man with those same, and there are bedrooms in hotels. If we avoid them, we might be able to avoid the temptations that could make us both unfaithful.