Julia’s gaze skirted past her grandmother’s. “He’s been so busy lately. I’d rather spend time with you than go home to an empty apartment.”
“I worry about you,” Ruth said, her voice growing weaker.
“Worry?” Julia repeated. “There’s no need. Our schedules are hectic just now. Coming here is the best thing for me.… That way, when Alek gets home, I’m calm and relaxed.”
“Good. He’s such a dear boy. You married well.… I so want you to be happy—it’s what you deserve. Your season of pain is past now that you have Alek.”
Julia wanted to avoid the subject of her husband. “Would you like me to read to you?”
“Please. From the book of Psalms, if you would?”
“Of course.” Julia reached for the well-worn Bible and sat in the chair next to her grandmother’s bed and began. She read long past the moment Ruth had fallen asleep. Long past the dinner hour. Long past the time she should leave for home.
The night was hot and muggy, the air heavy. Her air-conditioning system must not be working properly because it felt like the hottest night of the year. Even her skimpy, baby-doll pajamas seemed clammy and constricting.
Sleep seemed just beyond her grasp no matter how hard she tried to capture it. The night was still and dark, and she flopped from her side to her back, then onto her side once more, attempting to find the touch of a cool breeze. But there was none.
Another hour passed and she gave up the effort. Getting out of bed, she moved into the living room, standing in front of the window. A few scattered lights flickered from Puget Sound. The last ferry crossing before dawn, she guessed, on its way to Winslow on Bainbridge Island.
The lights from Alki Point gleamed in the distance.
Julia had no idea how long she stood there, looking into the still, dark night. Raising her arms high above her head, she stretched, standing on her toes. The thin fabric of her pajama top rustled. Her hair felt damp and heavy and she lifted the long tresses from the back of her neck. She shook her head, sending a spray of hair in a circle around her face.
She heard the briefest of noises behind her and whirled around to see a shadow unfold from the chair. Alek stood. He wore only the bottom half of his pajamas and his hard chest glistened in the muted light.
“Alek,” she said breathlessly.
“I couldn’t sleep, either,” he told her.
“How…long have you been here?” she demanded.
“I wasn’t spying on you, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”
“I…you startled me, that’s all.”
“Come sit with me.”
She shook her head again and watched as his jaw tightened at her refusal.
“We’re married,” he reminded her. “You can’t ignore me the rest of your life. We made a bargain, which has yet to be fulfilled.”
Why he chose to bring up the subject of their marriage now, Julia didn’t know. They’d lived peacefully together for nearly two weeks, barely seeing each other, rarely talking. She’d almost convinced herself they could continue like this forever.
“I don’t want to talk about our marriage.”
She sensed that his irritation turned to amusement. “No, I don’t imagine you do,” he said.
“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just that I didn’t realize you were here.”
“Fine. I forgive you. Now sit and we can talk.”
Julia hesitated, then decided it would do more harm than good to refuse him. She sank onto the sofa across from him. Holding a decorative pillow to her stomach helped ease her discomfort over her state of undress, although not by much.
“How is your grandmother?”
“About the same. I talked to her doctor this afternoon and he said…” She paused, biting her lip. “He said we shouldn’t expect her to return home.”
“Is she in pain?”
“Yes, sometimes, although she tries to hide it from me. Listen, do you mind if we don’t talk about Ruth, either?”
“Of course not. I didn’t mean to bring up a subject that causes you distress.”
Julia lowered her eyes. “It’s just that…she’s so important to me. Ruth’s all the family Jerry and I have left.”
“Your mother died years ago, didn’t she?”
Julia wasn’t surprised he knew that, since he and Jerry had been friends since her brother’s college days, when they’d met in Europe. “When I was fifteen, and as you probably recall, my father,” she added, “died three years ago…shortly after the fire.”
Silence stretched between them. Julia’s pressure on the pillow increased. Even in the darkened room, she could feel his smoldering gaze move caressingly over her. He wanted her and was growing impatient. Her heart pounded with dread and some other emotion. Regret? Perhaps…yearning?
“Please don’t look at me like that,” she begged. It seemed as if his eyes were about to devour her. He wanted her to know how much he longed to make love to her. The memory of his kisses returned to haunt her and she tried to dispel the image before it took root in her mind and her heart.
“You’re very beautiful.”
She’d heard those meaningless words before. Beauty was fleeting and counted for little of real value in life. Being outwardly attractive hadn’t made her a better judge of character. It didn’t do one iota of good as far as her grandmother’s health was concerned. If anything, it had been a curse, because it attracted the wrong kind of man.
“This makes you sad?”
She shrugged. “Beauty means nothing.”
“You are wise to recognize that.”
“Then why do you mention it?”
“Because you were not beautiful, not in the same way, when we first met. It’s only recently that I’ve come to appreciate that you are a real woman.”
A real woman. Julia nearly laughed aloud. “This is what makes being married to you and not sleeping with you so difficult. Have you reconsidered yet, my love? Come with me, share my bed.”
“I…can’t, please don’t ask me.” Her response was immediate. Tossing the pillow aside, she leapt to her feet, needing to escape. “Good night, Alek.”
He didn’t answer and she didn’t look back as she rushed to her room. Her heart was roaring in her ears when she reached the bed. Not for the first time she felt like the fox in an English hunt, and the baying of the hounds was closing in on her.
“Julia.”
She nearly fell off the bed when she looked up and found Alek framed in her doorway. Her breath froze in her lungs.
“Someday you won’t run from me.”
“I wasn’t running from you.” It was a lie and they both knew it, yet Julia persisted in claiming otherwise.
His smile was more than a little cocky. “Someday you will come to me voluntarily.”
She wasn’t going to argue with him. He watched her closely in the muted moonlight and she studied him with equal intensity. She suddenly realized her top had inched up and exposed her breasts. Furiously she tugged it down, glaring at him as though he’d purposely arranged the immodest display.
He smiled roguishly at her. “As I said earlier, you are very beautiful.” Then he turned and left.
After a sleepless, frustrating night, Julia was in no mood to deal with a long list of complicated problems. Virginia, her middle-aged assistant, looked apologetic when Julia arrived at the office early the next morning.
“Please get my brother on the line when you can,” Julia said. Her mind was made up. She wanted out of this farce of a marriage.
“He’s already called for you.” Virginia hugged a file folder against her chest. “He asked that you call him the moment you got here.”
Julia reached for her phone and punched out the extension. Jerry answered on the first ring. “Come down to my office,” he said impatiently.
“Now?”
“Right now.”
“What’s wrong?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
This morning was quickly going from bad to worse, much like her life. She paused, catching herself. Her thoughts hadn’t always been this negative. When had it started? The wedding? No, she decided—long before then. Three years before… She wondered why she was so aware of it now.
She rounded the corner that led to the suite of offices her brother occupied on the floor below her own.
“Jerry, what’s this all about?” she asked before she noticed Alek. She halted when she saw her husband sitting in one of the visitor’s chairs, waiting for her.
“Sit down.” Her brother motioned toward Alek.
Julia did as he asked. Jerry paced back and forth behind his desk. “I was contacted this morning by the Immigration people. I knew this would happen, I just didn’t expect it to be quite so soon.”
“We’re being investigated?” Alek murmured.
Jerry nodded. “The two of you are going to have to convince them you’re madly in love. Do you think you can do it?”
Julia saw that he focused his gaze on her. “Ah…”
“Yes,” Alek responded without hesitation.
“Julia, what about you?”
“Ah…” She’d never been good with pretense.
“She’ll convince them.” Alek revealed far more confidence in her than she had in herself. “It won’t take much effort.” He reached for her hand, gripping it in his own. “All we need is a little practice, isn’t that right, Julia?”
Five
Only seconds earlier Julia had decided she wanted to end this charade of a marriage, no matter what the price. Just when it seemed that very thing was about to happen, she discovered herself willing to do whatever was necessary to keep their relationship intact.
Counseling. That was what she needed, Julia thought. Intensive counseling. She wasn’t an indecisive woman; that would be a death knell for someone in her position. Generally she knew what she wanted and went after it with a determination that left everyone in her wake shaking their heads in wonder.
It was Aleksandr who managed to discomfit and confuse her. It was Alek who made her feel as though she was walking through quicksand.
“Julia?” Jerry turned the full force of his attention on her. “Can you do it?”
Both men were studying her. Could she pretend to be in love with Alek? Pretend her happiness hinged on spending the rest of her life with him? Could she?
“I…I don’t know.”
“Shall I repeat what’s at stake here?” Jerry muttered.
It wasn’t necessary; he’d gone over the consequences of their actions when he’d proposed the idea of marrying Alek in the first place. The government did much more than frown upon such unions. There was the possibility of jail time if they weren’t able to persuade the Immigration department of their sincerity.
“Julia knows,” Alek assured Jerry calmly. “Isn’t that right?”
She lowered her eyes. “I’m fully aware of what could happen.”