Ava wasn’t sure how long they sat there with Mac seeming to ponder her words before finally he squeezed her hand and said, “I’ll try, baby. Watching over you is what I do, but I understand what you’re saying and I’ll do my best to give you what you need even if it fucking kills me.” When she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, he whispered against her neck, “Does this mean no sex for two weeks either?” Laughter burst from her lips, until she was shaking against him. God, she loved this man. Even though she knew what she had asked was killing him inside, he managed to joke to make her feel better. He was now and would always be her gentle lion.
Chapter Twenty-one
Mac was pacing in his office restlessly when Dominic walked in. The other man had been out of town setting up security for another Oceanix location. The hotel chain was fast becoming one of their most profitable customers. It had been almost a week since he and Ava had had the talk, and they had gone on exactly two dates. The first was a late dinner, since they were swamped at work, and the second was dinner and a movie where they had made out like a couple of kids and missed most of the story. Both times, he had done as Ava requested and left her on the doorstep after a kiss that had them both panting.
He had pulled security from her apartment the next morning and had been a basket case, especially the first few nights. He’d gotten in his Tahoe more than once to go check on her himself, but her words had pulled him back. Doing as she asked had made one thing glaringly apparent—he didn’t know how to cut the cord and stop worrying over her safety. It had been ingrained in him for so long that it was the first thing on his mind in the morning and the last thing in the evening. It wasn’t that he didn’t think she was strong enough to take care of herself. His problem came from his fear of failing her again. Her safety had been his obsession for so long that he wasn’t sure how to have a normal relationship now even though he knew she needed that. She needed him to treat her as his equal and stop trying to layer her in bubble wrap every time she walked out the door. He just wasn’t sure how.
Now she and most of the upper management for Danvers were in Las Vegas at a big annual trade show. It was a testament to his resolve that he was still sitting here in Myrtle Beach while she was so far away. The only thing that gave him any comfort was the fact that Brant, Emma, and Declan were there as well as Jason, Claire, Gray, Suzy, Nick, and Beth. Ella had stayed behind since she’d had a baby so recently. Apparently, her sister Crystal was going through a divorce and was staying with Ella until Declan returned. If he knew the other man though, it was probably killing him to leave his new family.
“Well, you look all kinds of pissy today,” Dominic remarked as he dropped into a chair in Mac’s office.
“Yeah, whatever,” Mac snapped. He raised an irritated brow as Dom propped his feet on the corner of Mac’s desk, seeming to settle in for the long haul. “Was there something you needed?”
“Nope.” Dominic smirked. “But it looks like you need something. Who shit in your cornflakes today? I’d go with the usual guess and say Gage, but he’s off somewhere crying about his unrequited love for the tramp stamp girl. So I’m gonna just take a wild guess here and go with Ava? I thought you two finally had your shit together?”
Mac gnashed his teeth, wanting to make some crude comment about Dominic’s lack of success with the object of his affection, but out of respect for Gwen, he just couldn’t do it. Instead he took a calming breath and completely unloaded all his problems on one of his closest friends, finishing up with “So you can see why I’m not up skipping through the office like a happy ray of fucking sunshine, yeah?”
Dominic inclined his head in a nod, saying matter-of-factly, “Sexual frustration will sure do that to you. It’s even worse when you actually get it, then get it pulled right back out from under you, pun intended, of course.”
“You’re an asshole,” Mac deadpanned, wondering what he had really expected from another guy.
Dominic laughed before scrubbing his hands over his face. “Okay, seriously, I feel you, man. And I get where Ava is coming from. No one wants to live their life being a fixer-upper project. At some point, the renovation needs to end.”
“She’s not my project,” Mac grumbled, unsure if he was trying to convince Dominic or himself of that fact.
“But that’s just it, buddy. You don’t even realize it. I’ve known you for a long time now, and while you’ve had your fair share of female company, mostly all the one-night-only variety, it’s always been Ava who’s kept you walking the floors or pacing the fucking desert in Afghanistan. You’re the most focused, intense person I’ve ever known. From the stories Declan has told of the two of you guys growing up, I don’t think that’s always been who you were.” Smirking, he added, “No doubt you were born an anal perfectionist, but the rest I believe you picked up after Ava’s attack.” Dominic plowed on when Mac would have protested. “If you really think about it, you two never got to just be young and crazy. From the moment that happened, the course of your lives was altered. You both grew up the hard way and you’ve spent years being weighed down by a guilt for something none of you could have foreseen happening.”
Kicking his desk in anger, Mac growled, “I should have fucking known it! If I hadn’t been so busy trying to stay away from her for a few more years, until she was old enough for us to consider dating, I would have been with her that night. She was so young, though, and I wanted her to enjoy high school before overwhelming her with my feelings.”
“Well, guess what, man? You’re human. You can’t predict the future and neither of you had a fucking clue what would happen that night. Saying it’s your fault that you didn’t go with her is like saying it’s her fault for going without you. It’s over. It was a shitty, fucked-up twist of fate that no one had any clue would happen. Now if you want a life with the woman who has kept you tied in knots for years, then it’s time you trust that fate won’t screw you over again and stop being her protector and start just being her man. Show her that you can check your OCD where she’s concerned at the door and just be the guy she originally fell in love with all those years ago. I mean, he’s there, right? Buried deep . . . deep, really deep . . .”
“All right! Shit, please stop.” Glaring in annoyance, Mac said, “I don’t think Ava’s idea of a fun guy is one in prison because he strangled his smart-ass coworker. Christ, when did you and Gage become so insufferable? I hope he’s not coming in next for his part of the come-to-Jesus intervention that you’ve got going on.”