If her wild man hadn't come into the group of human vultures that had seized her like a berserking Viking complete with sword that grim future would've been hers by now. Why had he saved her? For himself, that seemed pretty much clear.
She buried her face into the pillows, "Oh God help me!"
Why wasn't he even now raping her? What kind of rapist nursed its victims back to health?
Why had he given her the knife? It was a bit much to risk for even an extreme risk taker, which he seemed to be. In some ways he almost seemed decent. He no doubt had her Code drives, which meant to some degree she had to work with him and she cringed at the thought of what that could mean.
Breaking the Code was worth every sacrifice she could make, even herself. Oh she wished there was another way! Her head lifted off the pillows, as the dim outlines of a plan of action began to emerge within her consciousness.
"No that wouldn't work and besides I don't have the guts for it!"
Her spoken words didn't seem to matter, as the plan remained highlighted in her brain. The plan could accomplish two things at once, but she could lose far more than just her body being violated against her will.
She couldn't do it!
She wouldn't do it!
To follow the plan laid out in her mind meant to sacrifice everything. She sensed that she was denying the Divine and traveling down a path of her own choosing in terms of her stubbornness not to accept the plan. That was something she'd sworn that she would never do.
Crying brokenly into the pillows she stuttered out between sobs, "Alright I'll do it, but please work on him! He scares me! All of this scares me! Oh God this isn't fair! I'm not happy with this!"
On a keening sob she wailed out softly, "But I'll do it! Oh God help me, I'll do it!"
Sleep came in the midst of the tears and she was asleep and at peace without really knowing that it had occurred.