We went from eating yogurt to screaming at each other and now we are calm again. My head is spinning at least as much as my heart.
“Hurt me?” He sounds incredulous.
“Yeah, if it will bother you that much to be there, I won’t try to make you come,” I answer. I know that I could never make Hardin do anything he doesn’t want to do; he has no history of ever being cooperative.
“Why would you care if it hurt me?” His eyes meet mine and I try to look away, but once again I am under his spell.
“Of course I would care; why wouldn’t I?”
“Why would you is the question.”
The look in his eyes is a pleading one, like he wants me to say the words, but I can’t. He will use them against me and then probably never want to hang out with me again. I will become the annoying girl who likes him, the kind of girls Steph told me about.
“I care about how you feel,” I say and I hope this answer can be good enough for him.
Interrupting our moment in the car, my phone rings. I pull it out of my purse and see it’s Noah. Without thinking, I hit ignore before I realize what I’m doing.
“Who is it?” Hardin is so nosy.
“Noah.”
“You’re not going to answer?” He looks surprised.
“No, we’re talking.” And I would rather talk to you, my subconscious adds.
“Oh” is all he says, but his smile is evident.
“So are you going to come with me? It’s been a while since I’ve had a home-cooked meal, so I am not passing it up.” I smile; the mood in the car is lighter but tense all the same.
“No. I have plans, anyway,” he mutters. I don’t want to know if those plans involve Molly.
“Oh, okay. Are you going to be mad at me if I go?” It’s sort of strange for me to just go to Hardin’s father’s house, but Landon is my friend, too, and I was invited.
“I’m always mad at you, Tess,” he says, amusement in his eyes when he looks over at me.
I laugh. “I’m always mad at you, too,” I tell him and he chuckles.
“Can we go back now? If a cop comes along, we’ll get a ticket.”
He nods, putting the car into drive and pulling back onto the road. The fight with Hardin blew over more quickly than I expected. I suppose he’s much more used to constant conflict than I am; I would much rather spend time with him without fighting.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t ask but I have to know . . . “So, what are your . . . um . . . plans today?”
“Why are you asking?” I can feel his eyes on me but I stare out the window.
“I’m just wondering, you said you had plans anyway so I was just wondering.”
“We have a party again. That is basically what I do every Friday and Saturday, except last night and last Saturday . . .”
I trace a circle on the window with one finger. “Doesn’t it get old? Just doing the same thing every weekend with the same drunk people?” I hope that doesn’t offend him.
“Yeah . . . I guess it does. But we’re in college, and I’m in a fraternity; what else is there to do?”
“I don’t know . . . it just seems tedious, to clean up everyone’s mess, every weekend especially when you don’t even drink.”
“It is, but I haven’t found anything better to do with my time so—” He stops. I know he is still looking at me, but I keep my eyes away from him.
The rest of the drive is quiet. Not awkward, just quiet.
WALKING ALONE from the lot to my dorm, I’m flustered. My emotions are in overdrive. I just spent the night and most of the afternoon with Hardin and we got along, mostly. It was actually fun, a lot of fun. Why can’t I have a great time like that with someone who actually likes me? Like Noah. I know I should call him back, but I want to revel in the way I feel right now.
When I get back to my room, I’m surprised to see Steph there; she usually stays gone all weekend.
“Where have you been, young lady?” she teases and shoves a handful of cheese popcorn into her mouth.
I laugh and take my shoes off before plopping onto the bed. “I was looking for a car.”
“Find one?” she asks, and I dive into telling her about the run-down lots I visited, leaving out Hardin’s involvement in the afternoon. After a few minutes, there’s a knock at the door and Steph gets up to answer.
“What are you doing here, Hardin?” she growls.
Hardin. I glance up nervously and he walks over to my bed. He has his hands in his pockets and he rocks back on his heels.
“Did I forget something in your car?” I ask, and hear Steph gasp. I will have to explain to her later, though I’m not sure how we ended up hanging out, either.
“Ermm . . . no. Um, well, I thought maybe I could drive you to my dad’s house tonight. You know, since you didn’t find a car,” he spits out, not seeming to notice or care that Steph is standing in the room with her jaw practically on the floor. “If not . . . that’s okay, too. I just thought I would offer.”
I sit up and he pulls his lip ring between his teeth. I love when he does that. I am so surprised by his offer, I almost forget to actually answer him. “Yeah . . . that would be great. Thank you.”
I smile and he smiles back, warm and seemingly relieved. He pulls one hand out of his pocket and sweeps it through his hair before stuffing it back in.
“Okay . . . I’ll come by about six thirty, so you can get there on time.”
“Thank you, Hardin.”
“Tessa,” he says calmly and walks out the door, pulling it shut behind him.