“I was hoping there wasn’t much to discuss.” Kyle studied Rylann’s face. “Now I see I was wrong about that.”
Admittedly, his timing probably wasn’t the best. But seeing how she had a guy waiting in her kitchen whom she’d once wanted to marry, a guy who now wanted her back, his possessive side was coming out with a vengeance.
He wanted all of her, plain and simple. And this time, he wasn’t going to settle for anything less.
“You knew when we first got together how complicated things are because of my job,” she said.
“I thought things had changed. Especially after last night.”
Her expression softened. “Last night was great. I told you, the best first date I’ve ever had.”
“It could be that way every day, Rylann.” Kyle put his hands on her shoulders, sensing that it was now or never. He wasn’t great at expressing himself, and frankly, she pretty much sucked at it, too. Quips and jokes were their usual modus operandi. But there were times in life when a man needed to suck it up and say what needed to be said.
And this was that moment.
So he peered down into her eyes. “After everything that happened with Daniela, I told myself I wasn’t going to get serious with anyone for a long time. But then you came along and changed everything. I don’t want to be some guy you’re fooling around with anymore, Rylann. I want to be with you all the way.”
Because I’m in love with you.
But when the words rose to his lips, he held them back.
Not because he didn’t mean them—far from it. He knew, as he looked into those gorgeous amber eyes that he’d never forgotten, just how true they were. But he also saw the uncertainty on Rylann’s face and realized, with some dread, that he wasn’t entirely sure how this conversation was going to turn out. And once he said those words, I’m in love with you, something he’d never before said to anyone, they’d be out there forever.
So he fell silent, waiting for her answer.
“I want to be with you, too,” she said.
Kyle smiled and pulled her closer…until he realized she wasn’t finished. “But?”
“But I need more time. You’re all over the news with your new company and the Twitter thing, and now there’s going to be the interview in Time. This is not the week to go public with the fact that we’re dating. Let’s wait it out a few weeks, or a couple months, and then when things cool down—”
“A couple months?” He pulled back and said nothing for a moment. “You’re really that embarrassed to be seen with me?”
Rylann pointed. “No. Not embarrassed. Just aware of certain facts. Mainly, that I’m a federal prosecutor and you are…well, you.”
Gee, thanks for clarifying. “So let me make sure I have this right: Rylann, the woman I met nine years ago, wants to be with me. But Prosecutrix Pierce just wants to f**k. Is that how it works?”
She threw up her hands in frustration. “What do you want me to say, Kyle? Shutting down Twitter may have been funny to some people, and I know you have your high-fivers, but you are, in fact, an ex-con. And I’ve been up front with you from the beginning—that presents challenges for me.”
Kyle stepped back, his tone dry. “Wow. And here I thought I’d never feel more like a thug than the day they threw me behind bars at MCC.”
Rylann’s expression softened. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that you’re pushing me for answers I don’t have. We had an unexpected visit from my ex-boyfriend this morning, and now, suddenly, you’re throwing down the gauntlet. But this is so new—we’ve only been dating for a couple weeks. Why can’t we wait a little longer to figure things out?”
Ah…finally, Kyle understood what was going on here.
She wasn’t sure how she felt about him.
For years, he’d played the field, always keeping things fun and casual, never taking the time to get too serious with any woman. Even with Daniela, he’d held back, not truly letting her in. But that wasn’t the case with Rylann. Their relationship hadn’t been all about wining and dining—it had been real. He’d opened up to her, had even told her private things about his family, and now here he was, putting his cards on the table—and hoping that what she’d seen these past few weeks had been enough to win her over. Because, for him, these past few weeks had been perfect—and everything he never knew he always wanted in a relationship.
And yet, seemingly, it still wasn’t enough for her.
Not much else a man could say in these circumstances.
He stepped closer and gently cupped her chin. “The difference between you and me, counselor, is that I don’t need more time. I know how I feel. You love your job—I understand that. It’s one of the things I admire most about you. But I haven’t waited thirty-three years to find something real, only to settle for always being second place in your heart. I want more than that.”
Rylann put her hand on his, her eyes filled with emotion. “Kyle…don’t do this. I never said you were second place.”
“You didn’t have to say it, Rylann,” he said softly.
Because he knew it anyway.
So he lowered his head and kissed her forehead in good-bye. Then he steeled his heart, not looking back when she called his name, and walked out of her apartment for good.
Thirty-three
LATER THAT EVENING, Kyle walked into EPIC, a loft-style restaurant located in the city’s River North area, and spotted his family—future brother-in-law included—sitting at a table near the back.