His eyes flicked from the enemy banners back to me, "Roric can I share something with you?"
"Always General. I value your wisdom."
"Something I have learned during all my years of leading men into dangerous situations is the peril of getting to attached to the warriors you command. Every loss of life of those under your command can become a source of personal angst, which eats away at sound reasoning and the will to act as needed. Seeking to avoid the pain of additional loss can lead one to make a choice in battle that is the wrong choice just to avoid more personal pain for yourself and the families of those you command. You made the right choice at Kingdom Pass Roric do not allow yourself to regret it."
He started away, but my words stopped him briefly, "Tell me General, have you ever managed to achieve such a disconnection between your emotions and the fate your warriors face?"
General Sanjo didn't look back around as he answered, "No, but I keep trying. If I didn't keep trying I wouldn't be of any use to anyone."
He continued on his way and I returned my gaze to the enemy that had drawn steadily closer across the plain. I wished that this day and responsibility had never come to me. Wishing had never gotten anyone very far in accomplishing something meaningful though.
Someone always had to do the hard work and make the sacrifice needed to affect any lasting change for good in the world. The only question I had was why did I have to be the one involved in the sacrifice?
They came at twilight just as General Sanjo had said they would. They stormed up and over our trench work and dirt work defenses around the Shrine in three places.
We were hard pressed to hold them back without calling out our reserve troops hidden within the Shrine and by the shore of the bay. Of the eight thousand warriors manning the wall of dirt and wood we lost over half of them throughout the long hours of the night. Before dawn's early light we subbed out most of the survivors along the defenses for the fresher warriors still hidden near the Shrine building.
It was an exchange of roughly five thousand fresh warriors for just over three thousand worn out warriors. Not only had we lost over four thousand of the best warriors of my people during the night, but we had lost General Sanjo too. He had been one of my nation's greatest all time commanders. Several of my old arena friends had fallen too and I felt their loss keenly.