How many more Tannis's would have to die to achieve victory? The corresponding thought came that answered that question. If we lost this war all the Tannis's would die of that I was sure, which was why we had to fight and keep dying so that perhaps some would live. I was one of the last to enter the city. As I came out of the darkness of the tunnel passage way and back into the light and the city of Kingdom Pass I saw massed ranks of warriors gathered to either side of the road and as one they shook their fists into the air repeatedly shouting a timeworn military cheer of glory to a warrior they deemed fit of the honor of receiving it.
I didn't deserve this! It seemed as if every warrior of the army had gathered and was shouting my praise. I was overcome with the feeling of wanting to throw up.
"Don't you dare!" Rolf said harshly to me.
"I don't deserve this praise Rolf. Why are they cheering me, when I lost so many of them today? I'm worthy of scorn more than I am praise!"
Rolf continued tugging me along, "They cheer because you have given them hope. They cheer because as warriors they have the honor of being led by the greatest of warriors and that warrior is you! Master you have never sought your own glory and yet it has been given to you abundantly by the Creator we both serve. Let them see the man that you are inside! Let them see the man they believe can lead them to victory, even if you do not believe it of yourself! Reward their faith and let them have peace, whether it is to the grave we go or to stand triumphantly over the graves of our enemies!"
I didn't feel like doing it, but I recognized the wisdom of Rolf's words and so I lifted my fist into the air and excepted their praise, even though I was less than worthy of receiving it and would have preferred to slink into a dark corner and lick my wounds and have some time to heal before I again had to face the light of day and the gazes of men's faces that stared sightlessly out into the void of space and time, because I had led them to their death.
I stopped at where the central stairs started up to the wall ramparts high above and motioned for silence. Reluctantly the impassioned warriors grew silent one by one, with still a few giving scattered cheers in the background.
"Brothers and sisters hear me please. You have not only pledged your swords and arrows to me, but now I see that your hearts also. I am unworthy of the honor you bestow upon me. I am but a man as you are with the same weaknesses that you struggle with, the same problems. But I am also a man that has faith! I believe in the Valley Lander way of life. The right to serve our Creator as we please! The right to protect our families and our lands from those, who would take them from us! The right to live free and accountable to no man other than those we appoint over us and the sovereignty of our Creator, who reigns over all creation! The enemy beyond those walls wants to take all of that away from us! As I have been elected as your leader in war, I swear that as breath and the strength remains within me to lift my sword, that I will fight to preserve all that we hold sacred. I will fight to preserve our freedom and not only ours, but our children's children too. This is my promise to you and may the Creator judge me ever so severely, if I fail in anything I have promised you!"