"I never slept with her."
"I didn't sleep with her," he said. "I just screwed her like you'd screw a sheep. Or a chicken. You wring their necks as you come, that's how you do it with chickens. I didn't wring her neck. I broke it. Snap, like a twig breaking."
I didn't say anything.
"And then out the window. It was just luck she hit the boy on the way down."
"Luck."
"I was trying for Andrea."
"Who?"
"His girlfriend. Of course I didn't expect to hit anybody, but I was trying for her."
"Why?"
"I'd rather kill a woman," he said.
I told him he was crazy. I said he was an animal, that he belonged in a cage. He hurt me again, then crossed a leg in front of mine and gave me a shove. I went sprawling on my hands and knees. I scuttled forward, scraping my hands on gravel and broken glass, stumbling over things I couldn't make out, then spinning around, setting myself, bracing for his approach. He rushed me and I threw a right at him, putting whatever I had into the punch.
He slipped the blow. The follow-through carried me past him and took me right off my feet. I managed one step, then lost it completely and fell full-length upon the ground.
I lay there, gasping for breath, waiting for whatever was coming next.
He let me wait. Then, softly, he said, "I could kill you right now."
"Why don't you."
"You wish I would, don't you? Good. In a week you'll beg me."
I tried to get up onto my hands and knees. He kicked me in the side, just below the rib cage. I scarcely felt it, the pain refused to register, but I stopped trying to get up.
He knelt at my side and put a hand at the back of my head, cupping the base of the skull. His thumb found the hollow behind the earlobe. He was talking to me but my mind was unable to track his sentences.
His thumb dug into the spot he'd found. The pain reached a new level, but I had gone somehow beyond pain. It was as though I were standing to one side, observing the sensation as a phenomenon, experiencing more awe than agony.
Then he turned up the pain a notch. There was already nothing but blackness in front of my eyes, but now the blackness spread behind my eyes as well. There was just one drop of fiery red against a sea of inky black. Then the red shrank to a pinpoint and went out.
I couldn't have been out long. I came to abruptly, as if someone had thrown a switch. I used to come to like that after a long night of drinking. There was a period of time when I never fell asleep and never woke up. Instead I would pass out and come to.
Everything hurt. I lay still at first, taking an inventory of the pain, trying to assess the extent of the damage. It took me a while, too, to make sure that I was alone. He could have been hunkered down alongside me, waiting for me to move.
When I did get up I did so slowly and tentatively, partly out of prudence, partly of necessity. My body didn't seem capable of fast movement or sustained activity. When I got up onto my knees, for example, I had to stay there until I summoned up the strength to stand. Then, on my feet at last, I had to wait until the dizziness passed or I would have fallen back down again.
Eventually I found my way through the obstacle course of litter to the fence and groped along it until I got to where the opening had been cut. I emerged on Attorney Street. I remembered that was where I was, but I'd lost all sense of direction and couldn't tell which way was uptown. I walked to the corner, which turned out to be Rivington, and then I must have turned east instead of west because I wound up back at Ridge Street. I turned left at Ridge and walked two blocks and finally got to Houston Street, and I didn't have to stand there too long before a cab came along.
I held up a hand and he drew up and slowed down. I started toward him, and I guess he got a good look at me then and didn't like what he saw, because he stepped on the gas and peeled off.
I would have cursed him if I'd had the strength.
Instead it was all I could do to remain on my feet. There was a mailbox nearby and I walked over and let it take some of my weight. I looked down at myself and was glad I hadn't wasted breath cursing the cabbie. I was a mess, with both trouser legs laid open at the knee, my jacket and shirtfront filthy, my hands dark with dried blood and embedded dirt and grit. No cabdriver in his right mind would have wanted me in his hack.
But one did, and I can't say he came across as particularly demented. I stayed there at Ridge and Houston for ten or fifteen minutes, not because I really expected anyone to stop for me but because I couldn't figure out where the nearest subway entrance might be, or trust myself to cope with it once I did. Three more cabs passed me up, and then one stopped. He may have thought I was a police officer. I was trying my best to give that impression, holding up my billfold as if to display a shield.
When he stopped for me I got the rear door open before he could change his mind. "I'm sober and I'm not bleeding," I assured him. "I won't mess up your cab."
"Fuck the cab," he said. "I don't own this heap of shit, and so what if I did? Wha'd they do, jump you and roll you? This is no place for you at this hour, man."
"Why didn't you tell me that a couple of hours ago?"
"Hey, you're not too bad off if you got your sense of humor. I better get you to a hospital. Bellevue's closest, but maybe you'd rather go someplace else?"
"The Northwestern Hotel," I said. "That's on Fifty-seventh and-"
"I know where it's at, I got a regular pickup five days a week across the street at the Parc Vendome. But are you sure you wouldn't be better off going to a hospital?"
"No," I said. "I just want to go home."