He reached out and cupped his hand over the back of her neck and pulled her close again.
She could not find the energy to resist even though she knew she should. Every minute spent with him like this would make leaving so much more difficult.
He leaned closer, feathered his lips across hers and straightened again before she could respond.
A protesting sigh escaped her. She was surprised at how much she regretted not being able to kiss him back.
“I think it might be time for both of us to move forward, led by our good shepherd.”
His words roused her from her reverie and brought her back to their talk. Though she knew he didn’t mean them so, she pretended to interpret them literally. “Yes, it’s time to put the girls to bed.”
His half grin informed her he knew she was purposely making it about the girls.
She called Eleanor and Libby, and they retraced their steps in the growing dusk. With the disappearance of the sun, the temperature had fallen appreciably, and they hurried despite her reluctance to end the evening.
They passed the Morton home. Through the window they saw Claude and Bonnie sitting at the table, the lamp between them.
They reached the shack, and the girls hurried inside. Clara would like to linger outside with Blue, but she had to light the lamp for the girls.
Still she didn’t immediately step inside. “Thank you for taking us to see the deer. That was special.”
He caught her hand and pulled her so close the cold air was shut out. She breathed in the smell of wool and wood smoke, leather and oak shavings. Every time she caught a whiff of any of them in the future, she would think of this moment and all the others she had shared with Blue.
He dipped his head to hers. “I enjoyed the evening, too.”
She turned her face upward, shamelessly inviting the kiss she’d been longing for all day.
He responded immediately. She couldn’t say whether it was because of her begging or his own reasons. And it didn’t matter.
His lips met hers, and she clung to him, her arms slipping about his waist, pressing to his back. His lips were warm and possessive and, at the same time, tender and full of promise. Or was that only her own heart’s cry?
“Mama,” Libby called. “Can Eleanor light the lamp?”
She jerked back. “I’ll be right there.”
Blue didn’t immediately release her. “Clara.”
She waited, wondering what he meant to say.
He lowered his arms and stepped back, leaving her alone and cold. “Have a good sleep.”
“You, too.” She stepped into the shack, closed the door and went to the table to light the lamp.
“What were you doing, Mama?” Libby asked. “You and Mr. Blue.”
“I was thanking him for taking us to see the deer.”
Eleanor watched Clara, but when Clara turned to her, the child shifted away. What was going on in her little mind?
“Deer are scared,” Eleanor said.
So that was it. Back to running from danger. “If they weren’t, they’d get shot.”
“No one is going to shoot us.”
“Thank goodness for that.” Though that wasn’t the only danger they needed to run from. She guessed Eleanor understood that. And didn’t like it.
She finally got the girls to bed, and she settled into her own bedding.
She’d enjoyed the evening more than she had a right to, knowing it couldn’t last. The image of Blue’s smile lingered in her thoughts.
* * *
Blue smiled as he took care of the fire, prepared for bed and lay on his bedroll. A few minutes later he decided it wasn’t possible to fall asleep with his mouth constantly smiling.
He cupped his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. The evening had been like walking into the sunset, the dark shadows behind him. Tonight, for as long as possible, he’d keep his face turned to the sun and forget his past. Or at least not let it be the direction he faced.
A thought surfaced, begged for attention. Sunsets lasted but a short while.
He pushed the warning behind him. He’d deal with reality when he must. He would have told Clara of his plans to follow her to Fort Calgary or wherever she went, but he figured she’d protest and he didn’t want to spoil the evening.
The next morning he still had not decided if he should inform her.