Cozy, despite the size of the space; warm, despite the unknown terror lurking below.
If the others piss me off too much, I like to come down here for some peace and quiet.
I smiled slightly at Rhys, who kept looking ahead as we spoke mind to mind.
Don’t they know by now that they can find you down here?
Of course. But I never go to the same spot twice in a row, so it usually takes them so long to find me that they don’t bother. Plus, they know that if I’m here, it’s because I want to be alone.
Poor baby High Lord, I crooned. Having to run away to find solitude perfect for brooding.
Rhys pinched my behind, and I clamped down on my lip to keep from yelping.
I could have sworn Clotho’s shoulders shook with laughter.
But before I could bite off Rhys’s head for the rippling pain my aching back muscles felt in the wake of the sudden movement, Clotho led us into a reading area about three levels down, the massive worktable laden with fat, ancient books bound in various dark leathers.
A neat stack of paper was set to one side, along with an assortment of pens, and the reading lamps were at full glow, merry and sparkling in the gloom. A silver tea service gleamed on a low-lying table between the two leather couches before the grumbling fireplace, steam curling from the arched spout of the kettle. Biscuits and little sandwiches filled the platter beside it, along with a fat pile of napkins that subtly hinted we use them before touching the books.
“Thank you,” Rhys told the priestess, who only pulled a book off the pile she’d undoubtedly gathered and opened it to a marked page. The ancient velvet ribbon was the color of old blood—but it was her hand that struck me as it met the golden light of the lamps.
Her fingers were crooked. Bent and twisted at such angles I would have thought her born with them were it not for the scarring.
For a heartbeat, I was in a spring wood. For a heartbeat, I heard the crunch of stone on flesh and bone as I made another priestess smash her hand. Over and over.
Rhys put a hand on my lower back. The effort it must have taken Clotho to move everything into place with those gnarled hands …
But she looked toward another book—or at least her head turned that way—and it slid over to her.
Magic. Right.
She gestured with a finger that was bent in two different directions to the page she’d selected, then to the book.
“I’ll look,” Rhys said, then inclined his head. “We’ll give a shout if we need anything.”
Clotho bowed her head again and began striding away, careful and silent.
“Thank you,” I said to her.
The priestess paused, looking back, and bowed her head, hood swaying.
Within seconds, she was gone.
I stared after her, even as Rhys slid into one of the two chairs before the piles of books.
“A long time ago, Clotho was hurt very badly by a group of males,” Rhys said quietly.
I didn’t need details to know what that had entailed. The edge in Rhys’s voice implied enough.
“They cut out her tongue so she couldn’t tell anyone who had hurt her. And smashed her hands so she couldn’t write it.” Every word was more clipped than the last, and darkness snarled through the small space.
My stomach turned. “Why not kill her?”
“Because it was more entertaining for them that way. That is, until Mor found her. And brought her to me.”
When he’d undoubtedly looked into her mind and seen their faces.
“I let Mor hunt them.” His wings tucked in tightly. “And when she finished, she stayed down here for a month. Helping Clotho heal as best as could be expected, but also … wiping away the stain of them.” Mor’s trauma had been different, but … I understood why she’d done it, wanted to be here. I wondered if it had granted her any measure of closure.
“Cassian and Azriel were healed completely after Hybern. Nothing could be done for Clotho?”
“The males were … healing her as they hurt her. Making the injuries permanent. When Mor found her, the damage had been set. They hadn’t finished her hands, so we were able to salvage them, give her some use, but … To heal her, the wounds would have needed to be ripped open again. I offered to take the pain away while it was done, but … She could not endure it—what having the wounds open again would trigger in her mind. Her heart. She has lived down here since then—with others like her. Her magic helps with her mobility.”
I knew we should begin working, but I asked, “Are … all the priestesses in this library like her?”
“Yes.”
The word held centuries of rage and pain.
“I made this library into a refuge for them. Some come to heal, work as acolytes, and then leave; some take the oaths to the Cauldron and Mother to become priestesses and remain here forever. But it belongs to them whether they stay a week or a lifetime. Outsiders are allowed to use the library for research, but only if the priestesses approve. And only if they take binding oaths to do no harm while they visit. This library belongs to them.”
“Who was here before them?”
“A few cranky old scholars, who cursed me soundly when I relocated them to other libraries in the city. They still get access, but when and where is always approved by the priestesses.”
Choice. It had always been about my choice with him. And for others as well. Long before he’d ever learned the hard way about it. The question must have been in my eyes because Rhys added, “I came here a great deal in those weeks after Under the Mountain.”
My throat tightened as I leaned in to brush a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for sharing this place with me.”
“It belongs to you, too, now.” And I knew he meant not just in terms of us being mates, but … in the ways it belonged to the other females here. Who had endured and survived.
I gave him a half smile. “I suppose it’s a miracle that I can even stand to be underground.”
But his features remained solemn, contemplative. “It is.” He added softly, “I’m very proud of you.”
My eyes burned, and I blinked as I faced the books. “And I suppose,” I said with an effort at lightness, “that it’s a miracle I can actually read these things.”
Rhys’s answering smile was lovely—and just a bit wicked. “I believe my little lessons helped.”
“Yes, ‘Rhys is the greatest lover a female can hope for’ is undoubtedly how I learned to read.”