He looked up from his hands. “Hate? No, I could never hate you. I know my feelings for you were rash when we first met. I had only been alive a few months, and you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. It’s taken some time to understand what loving a person truly means.” His head turned in the direction Lucy had left. “Sometimes it must grow. And sometimes it’s quieter, less expected, not like how they describe in books.”
He turned back to me, looking more serious. “I’m grateful you’ve given me a second chance, though I’ll always be an experiment, won’t I? An aberration. Something made in a laboratory.”
I knew what it meant to be an aberration, but I’d never longed for a normal life like Edward had. I’d dreamed of an exceptional life for as long as I could remember. Ambitious, just like Father.
“Can I ask you a question?” I drummed my fingers nervously against my knees. He nodded. “After the Beast took over your body, he told me that I should be wary of Montgomery. That he had burned some files and a letter that my father had written to me.” I swallowed. “Do you know what he meant?”
Edward rubbed his eyes. “I’m afraid I don’t. When you cut the Beast out of my head, you cut out his memories, too. I might have known once, but not any longer.”
I let out a heavy breath. “I shouldn’t have even asked.”
“Montgomery is a good man, Juliet.” I looked up in surprise, and the corner of Edward’s mouth pulled back in a smile, though the movement seemed to pain him. “Even if he did try to kill me a time or two. I know he was only defending you. He and I have had our differences, but I can recognize a good heart when I see it, and if my blood had to come from anyone, I’m glad it was from him. If Montgomery is keeping secrets from you, it’s for a good reason.”
I spun the ring on my finger slowly. “The reason I must keep you secret today—it’s because Montgomery and I are getting married. After the ceremony, once things have calmed down and we are certain you’re well, I shall tell him everything.”
Edward nodded slowly at the mention of my wedding, unsurprised, and I wondered if Lucy had already told him or if he simply was too exhausted for strong reactions. He had loved me passionately once, but that time had slipped away sometime between his death and rebirth.
“I’m glad,” he said. “You deserve to be happy.”
I paused. “So do you.”
Lucy opened the door, peeking her head in and giving me a smile. “All the girls are downstairs looking for you, Juliet. It’s time to put on your dress.”
THIRTY
I HAD NEVER BEEN the sort of girl who dreamed of her wedding day. Instead, I had spent my childhood poring over biology books and stealing glimpses through the keyhole into my father’s laboratory. Marriage had felt so far off back then. The only man in my life who mattered had been my father.
I sat alone at the vanity table in my bedroom, looking in the mirror, bouquet of dusky heather at my side. The girls had rubbed rouge on my cheeks and powdered my entire face and pulled my hair up in a formal Highland twist.
A knock came at the door.
I nearly dropped the heather. “Come in.”
Elizabeth stepped into the room. She’d changed out of the simple muslin dresses she wore most days into one of her silk gowns from London. She sat beside me on the dressing bench and fixed a loose pin in my hair. I wondered what my mother would have thought of me. Had she ever imagined my wedding day? If she were here, would she hold me tight and tell me she was proud of the woman I’d become?
“There now.” Elizabeth smoothed down a curl. “You look lovely.”
I touched the bouquet of heather delicately. There had been a man once—one of Mother’s clients—who bought her a china set with a heather pattern. I must have been thirteen years old at the time. Mother loved fine china, but she’d sold the set to buy me an elegant dress so I’d look respectable.
There’s only one way out of this life for you, Juliet, she said. In a few years you’ll need to find a respectable young man. Wealthy. From a good family. Charm him, make him fall in love with you, and never, ever tell him who you really are.
Montgomery wasn’t from a respectable family, nor was he wealthy. But he loved me despite my faults, and I loved him despite his.
Elizabeth helped me undo the ties of my robe and carefully slipped the dress over my head. I’d expected it to be stiff with newness, but it was soft as silk. As Elizabeth knelt to pin the hem, a stray pin stuck my finger and a bead of blood appeared. My strength wavered. Was love enough? What would Montgomery do when he discovered Edward hiding away in the attic?
“Are you nervous?” Elizabeth asked.
“Yes, a bit,” I confessed. “It’s difficult to know what the future will hold.”
She gave me a sympathetic smile. “Whatever comes, you’ll weather it. Besides, whatever happens can’t be as bad as poor Victor Frankenstein’s wedding night, can it? There’s only room enough in this house for one cursed wedding tale. I promise you—no murders, no attacks, no monsters lurking in the shadows. Now smile, and marry that man.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. Elizabeth squeezed my hand. The door opened and Balthazar stuck his head in. He wore an old black sash tied around his neck in a bow, since all of the formal wear was too small for him.
He stood at attention. “We’re ready, miss.”
BALTHAZAR LED ME DOWN the stairs just before dusk. With my arm in his, we stepped out of the glass-encased winter solarium into the south garden, where the servants gathered around an altar of winter greenery. Montgomery stood at the front. His hair was combed back, his hands clasped in front of him. As far back as I could remember, he had always been in my life. Now he always would be.
I had taken him for granted back when I’d been a foolish girl in awe of my father, but I wasn’t foolish anymore. I was keeping Edward secret from him, but he was keeping secrets, too. In time, everything would come out, and we would lay ourselves bare and make amends. We had years for that.
I took another step, the lace hem sweeping the ground. Lily and Moira whispered to each other about how lovely my dress was. I spotted little Annabelle in the back, standing on tiptoe to see until Carlyle picked her up and set her on his shoulders.
I squeezed Balthazar’s arm. “I’m sorry again about last night. I hope you can forgive me. There’s no one I’d rather give me away than you.”