“Undercover?” America seethed. “Lying to mobsters about your loyalties doesn’t make you undercover, Travis! They knew who you were, who you’re married to, and where you live! We were in Vegas with you. They had photographs of my boys!” she said, her eyes filling with angry tears. “The second you agreed to this, we were in danger. Don’t act like you’re the savior in all this. You and Thomas are the cause!”
“America, enough,” Abby said. “You don’t know everything.”
“Exactly,” she snapped. She grabbed my hand, and we walked together toward the door.
“Shep,” Travis pleaded.
I turned to him. I’d always been on his side, but for the first time, I wasn’t sure if he had my back. I wasn’t sure if I could believe anything he was saying. He hadn’t chosen to lie to us, but he wasn’t in control. “You haven’t even apologized, Travis. I know you didn’t want this, but you brought it on us. And for what?”
“To keep him out of prison,” Abby snapped. “You would have done whatever you could to keep that from happening, too, and you know it.”
“I wouldn’t have painted a target on the backs of my sons,” I said. “You did that.” I glared at Travis and then pulled my wife out the door.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
LIIS
VAL LOADED STELLA’S AND MY THINGS into the passenger seat and floorboard of Travis’s truck, except for the pink and gray baby bag Travis had slung over his large shoulder. I smiled for the first time since Thomas had left. Seeing a man as large and intimidating as Travis Maddox carrying anything girly struck me as amusing. Just as quickly as it came, the feeling vanished, replaced by bone-deep pain. I couldn’t believe I was in Eakins, Illinois, with Stella but without her father. The past few days had left me in a daze.
Travis set the baby bag in the back on one side of an already-present rear-facing car seat. He seemed to have a lot on his mind besides the upcoming task of breaking the hearts of everyone in his family.
“I’ll have to tighten the straps,” he said, reaching for Stella. His voice went up an octave when he addressed her. “You’re so tiny, but Carter makes you look like a giant. Yes, he does.”
I walked around to the other side, settling in next to the car seat behind Val. She was already in the passenger side tapping away on her cell phone.
“Carter?” I asked.
Before Travis could answer, Val spoke up. “Why do men act so stupid around babies?”
“Glad to see you, Agent Taber,” Travis said, his voice thick with sarcasm. He knew what to expect next.
“Fu …” Val began her trademark response, but she decided to mind Stella.
“Why does it bother you so much?” Travis asked. “Why go into the FBI if you detest being referred as an agent?”
“I don’t. It’s just an excuse to tell people to fu … you know.”
“Any word, Val?” I asked.
“Significant improvement overnight,” she said, resuming the tapping on her phone. “Also heard from Lena. Operation Coco is a go. She’s in.”
Travis sighed, relieved by both. He secured Stella while making sure she was snuggly tucked in. He kissed her head before manning the driver’s seat, and I froze, remembering that Thomas had done the same thing just a few days before.
Travis closed his door and pulled his seat belt across his chest, fastening it with a click. “All set?” he asked Val. She ignored him, busy communicating with the director. Travis gripped the steering wheel and stared straight ahead without turning the ignition. “Liis?”
I closed my eyes. “I’m okay.”
“I doubt that.”
I looked out the window. “Let’s just get it over with.”
“You should know. I told them.” Travis spat the words as if they’d been burning his mouth.
“What?” I said.
“What?” Val repeated.
“Most of it came out last night. They know Thomas, and I are Feds. They know my career started with the fire. Dad already knew, Liis.”
“He doesn’t know all of it.”
“I know. But I had to lay some of it out before you got here. Otherwise, it’d be too much for him.”
“And the others?”
“They know, too. Most of it. Except about you and … the plan.”
“I understand,” I said. It was all I could say. How could anyone prepare to tell their entire family they’d been lying to them? That I wasn’t who they thought I was, and neither was Thomas? That he was gone and watch as they processed the worst pain they could possibly imagine?
“I’ll be right there with you,” Travis said.
It took a long time for me to speak. We were already passing through the airport gate by the time I could take hold of my emotions long enough to get the words out. “They won’t forgive me,” I said. Just those few words created a tightness in my throat.
“Yes, they will. They’ll forgive us both.” I’d known Travis long enough to hear when the calm in his voice was contrived. Abby was the better actress, but Travis had honed his poker face over the years. His wife was a good teacher.
“I don’t know if I can do this. My emotions have been all over the place,” I said.
Travis turned to face me. “You just had a baby, Liis. You went from a new family to a single mother in a day. Cut yourself some slack.”
I glared at him, resenting his bluntness. As much as I wanted to hate what he said, it was true. “I’m still the same person. I’m not weak.”
“Fuck no, you’re not. Mothers are damn strong, anyway. And you, Liis? I’ve never seen anything like you.”
I shifted in my seat. His response surprised me. “Besides Abby.”
“It’s not a competition,” he said, offering a small smile.
My shoulders relaxed. Travis had a way of always making me feel safe, just like Thomas. As frightening as traveling with a newborn was, knowing I was going to be with the Maddoxes soon had been a significant comfort. “How are you doing?”
He cleared his throat, putting on the truck’s blinker. “It’s been rough. I’m not looking forward to this any more than you are.”
“Where’s Abby?”