Grace couldn’t imagine why her outfit seemed so important, yet somehow it was. She wondered if this could be a way of distracting herself from Olivia’s surgery. Or perhaps it was a more complex psychological phenomenon, like…like suiting up for battle. Because this was battle, even if she was going to be standing on the sidelines.
When she arrived at the hospital, she discovered that Olivia had already been checked in and given a sedative before the surgery.
As Grace entered her hospital room, Olivia raised her head and glanced at the door. Grace hesitated. Seeing her dearest friend so vulnerable nearly brought her to tears. But the last thing Olivia needed was for Grace to turn into an emotional wreck. Swallowing the giant lump that blocked her throat, she managed to grin. “Hello, there,” she said with a heartiness she was far from feeling.
“Grace,” Olivia whispered. “I told you it wasn’t necessary to come. I should’ve known you’d never listen.”
“I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else,” Grace said. “I need to be here—if not for your sake, then my own.”
Olivia’s eyes were serious and she nodded slightly. “Thank you.”
Grace reached for her friend’s hand and they held on to each other the way they had countless times through the years.
“Where’s Jack?” Grace asked after a moment, wondering why Olivia’s husband wasn’t with her.
“He went to get coffee,” Olivia explained. Their eyes met and Olivia bit her lip. “The coffee’s just an excuse. He’s not dealing with this well.”
“Hey, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly a pillar of strength myself.”
Olivia smiled.
“This is crazy, you know?”
“The cancer?” Olivia asked.
“Well, that, too. But I was talking about something else.” Grace paused to take a long breath, trying not to cry. “You’re the one with cancer. Jack and I love you and so do Will and Charlotte and your kids. We’re all willing to do whatever we can to help you through this. Unfortunately, we’re falling apart, at least Jack and I are.” She laughed, but it sounded more like a sob. “The crazy part is that you’re the one who’s comforting us.”
Olivia dismissed her words. “Nonsense.”
“Look at me, Liv,” Grace said, dashing tears from her face. “I’m a mess. I want this to go away.”
“You think I don’t?” Olivia teased. “I never thought it would happen to me. There’s no history of breast cancer in my family. I eat right, exercise, get my yearly checkup and yet here I am. This isn’t fair, is it?”
“Cancer usually isn’t.”
They continued to hold hands, still clinging to each other when Jack walked in holding a foam coffee cup. He looked as if he hadn’t slept all night and was as pale as Olivia.
An orderly stepped into the room directly behind him. “We’re ready for you now, Ms. Griffin.”
“I’m ready for you, too,” Olivia murmured. Her gaze moved from Jack to Grace and she gave them both a reassuring smile. “I don’t want either of you to worry.”
“Right,” Grace lied.
“It is what it is,” Olivia said.
That sounded too much like resignation to Grace. This wasn’t the time for acceptance; it was a time to fight.
Jack walked by Olivia’s side, holding her hand, with Grace trailing behind. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I know,” Olivia whispered back.
The orderly rolled the entire bed out of the room and down the hall to the surgery center.
“Everything’s going to be just fine,” Grace reiterated aloud because she needed someone to say it, even if that someone was her.
“Yes,” Jack said.
By unspoken agreement they moved toward the surgical waiting area. Jack sat in one of the upholstered chairs, which were clustered into groups of four and six. He drank his coffee as he stared into the distance. Right now they were the only people there and had chosen the chairs closest to the door.
“Did Olivia wonder why I took so long getting the coffee?” he asked, looking in her direction for the first time.
“If so, she didn’t say anything to me,” Grace assured him, although it wasn’t the complete truth.
A sigh rumbled through his chest. “I decided to go to the hospital chapel,” he said, his voice low. “I’ve done a lot of things I’m not especially proud of through the years. I wasn’t sure I had the right to ask God for anything.”
“I know what you mean.” Grace had plenty of lapses herself, plenty of misgivings about her own right to ask.
“I took my chances and asked God to be with Olivia,” Jack said. He leaned forward and splayed his fingers through his hair. “I want to do every single thing I can for her.”
“You already are.” Falling in love with Jack Griffin, marrying him, had changed Olivia’s life, bringing her more happiness than she’d ever expected. This man had stood by her and always would.
Grace glanced at her watch, astonished to realize it’d been less than ten minutes since the orderly had come for Olivia. Time seemed to creep by; Grace felt conscious of every second. When another five minutes had slowly passed, Olivia’s daughter, Justine, and her mother, Charlotte, walked into the waiting area. Charlotte, as usual, toted an enormous knitting bag.
“Is Mom in surgery?” Justine asked.
Grace nodded.
Charlotte sat down next to Jack and automatically pulled out her knitting. “It calms my nerves,” she announced to no one in particular. Her fingers worked at an impressive speed, and Grace tried to guess what the multicolored yarn would become.
“I wish I could’ve seen her before the surgery,” Justine said, pacing restlessly.
“It’s all right, dear,” Charlotte said calmly. “Your mother knows how much you love her. She knows you would’ve been here if you could.”
Justine continued pacing. “I used to think I didn’t really need my mother.” She sounded close to tears. “I was so confident that I knew what I was doing.” She gave a little shake of her head. “Mom never liked me dating Warren Saget. She didn’t trust him. I think in some ways I went on seeing him out of spite, just so I could prove how wrong she was.”
“Justine,” Charlotte said quietly, setting her knitting down in her lap. “All daughters go through that with their mothers. Olivia did with me, as well. It isn’t until we’re mothers ourselves that we understand.”
Justine folded her arms. “She was right, you know—about Warren, about me loving Seth and…and everything else. I need her in my life. Leif needs his grandma and so does our new baby.” She flattened her palm against her stomach.
Grace had recently learned that Justine was pregnant with her second child and knew Olivia was ecstatic.
They all grew quiet for several minutes. In the distance Grace saw workers setting up Christmas trees and hanging decorations. She’d forgotten that this was the first of December.
Charlotte was knitting steadily, her fingers slowing to a more relaxed pace. “I told Ben this morning that we should cancel the cruise. I want to be with my daughter.”
“Grandma, Mom would be furious if you did that,” Justine said. “You and Ben have been planning this vacation for months.”
“Yes, I know, but…”
“Go, Charlotte,” Jack told her. “Justine’s right. Olivia would be upset with you for staying home.”
“I realize that. Still…”
Charlotte didn’t finish what she was about to say. Her eyes brightened and she smiled as Pastor Dave Flemming joined them in the waiting area.
“Oh, Pastor,” Charlotte murmured in relief. “I’m so pleased you were able to make it.”
“I’m glad to do it,” Dave said, sitting next to Charlotte.
“Olivia’s in surgery now,” Jack explained. “Everything depends on whether the cancer has spread. We won’t know exactly what we’re dealing with until we know that.”
“Whatever happens, I wanted to tell you I’m available anytime. All you need to do is call.”
“Thank you,” Justine said.
“Would you like me to pray with you now?”
“Please.” It was Charlotte who answered. She set aside her knitting needles and bowed her head.
Justine sat beside Grace and closed her eyes. Seeing how shaken she was, Grace took the younger woman’s hand in her own. Justine held on tightly.
Pastor Flemming’s prayer was brief, but it brought Grace a sense of peace. She didn’t know what the outcome would be, but for the first time she was ready to leave that with God.
When Pastor Flemming finished, the small group whispered, “Amen.”
The prayer affected them all. Jack looked more composed and so did Justine. Charlotte picked up her knitting needles. Grace found herself breathing normally again.
They chatted amicably with Pastor Flemming for a few minutes until he said, “I’ve got a meeting, so I’d better leave now.” He got to his feet.
Jack stood, too. “I can’t thank you enough for stopping by.”
The pastor nodded and patted Jack’s shoulder affectionately. “We can’t always know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future.”
“That we do,” Charlotte concurred, her fingers busy.
“Remember,” Pastor Flemming said, “if there’s anything you need, day or night, call me.”
“Thank you again,” Grace told him, grasping his hand as they exchanged goodbyes. “Please pray for her.”
“Of course,” he promised. “Olivia is in my prayers, as she is in yours.”
He left soon afterward and the small gathering continued their visit, newly energized or so it seemed to Grace. As they talked, Jack reached sheepishly inside his pocket for a hand-held gadget.
“What’s that?” Justine asked, looking over his shoulder.
“Video poker,” Jack mumbled. “Bob Beldon bought it for me. He said it’d help distract me while Olivia’s in surgery.”
Justine planted her hands on her hips and glared at him. “You mean to say my mother’s fighting for her life in there and you’re going to sit here playing video games?”
“Uh…” Jack hesitated, then nodded decisively. “That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
“Oh.” Justine paused. “Do you think they have those in the hospital gift shop?” she asked, breaking the tension.
Grace burst into laugher, and so did Justine and Jack. Charlotte looked up, but didn’t seem to understand the joke. They were still chiding one another when the surgeon entered the waiting room.
Simultaneously they all stood, their laughter instantly cut short. Every eye was on Dr. McBride.
The silence seemed to pulse through the room.
“We were fortunate to have detected the tumor when we did,” he began.
“Do you mean it hasn’t metastasized?” Grace asked in a hushed voice.