“That’s when he always gets together with the boys. Every year they drive to Potter County to go deer hunting.”
I thought about last Thanksgiving and feeling like an oddball at Pete and Tammy’s table. I was glad that they convinced me to come over; I had thanked them but declined several times until Thomas ditched me at the last minute.
Thanksgiving was always a big production for my mother. She’d make a huge turkey and all the fixings. All the relatives would gather and we’d eat too much.
As we grew older, my cousins had families of their own and everyone scattered in their separate directions. After my parents passed and I turned down one too many invitations, my phone stopped ringing at the holidays. Large family get-togethers seemed to be a thing of the past.
Ryan had not mentioned his Thanksgiving plans to me, but I had hoped or more accurately assumed that we would be together, especially after the conversation I just had with his mother. If not, I’d be alone once again.
Maybe Ryan would want to spend the holiday alone with his family and then the rest of his free time with his friends hunting instead?
Thanksgiving I could deal with, but another Christmas by myself… that would be painful.
Last year Thomas conveniently picked a fight with me two weeks before Christmas and we temporarily broke up. I still think it was because he didn’t want to have to buy me a gift.
My mind was wandering when my eyes noticed an old Gibson acoustic guitar tucked away in the back corner of the antique shop. I picked it up and gave it a strum; it had a great sound. I handed the cashier my bank card and five hundred and ninety dollars later, walked out with Ryan’s birthday present.
After a full day of roaming through stores, we both had our fill of shopping. I turned the car in the direction of the cabin. Ryan and his father were busy doing something by the edge of the lake.
“What are you up to?” I asked. Ryan was squatting down and had a big boning knife in his hand. He was gutting a fish.
“Look at this bass! I couldn’t throw this one back, Honey. Taryn - supper. Supper – Taryn.” He was trying to be funny with the poor fish’s dismembered head.
“We should cook that outside on the fire pit.” I pointed in the direction. “Good job, man!” I said with my playful cavewoman voice. I gave him a congratulatory squeeze on his shoulders.
“Man catch fish for woman!” he stated proudly.
I started a fire in the large, circular fire pit and sat down in one of the wooden chairs that surrounded it. The sun was starting to set and the fire felt nice and warm on my hands. Ryan put the metal grate over the hot coals and soon his catch of the day was cooking.
“Taryn, how much property does your family own here?” Ryan asked.
“I think it’s almost three acres. Why?”
“Who owns that property over there? There’s nothing but a little shack house on it.” Ryan pointed to the east side of the lake.
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen anyone there. Deeds are public records; I’m sure it would be easy to find out.”
“I love this lake,” he said, the tone of adoration was evident. “I spent all day out there designing a house in my head.”
He looked over to me. “Tell me, if you could pick a place, where would you want to live?”
“I don’t know, but by a lake sounds perfect,” I answered truthfully.
“I wonder if I could buy that land over there?” Ryan pointed. “What?” he questioned my stare.
I was surprised by his comment. “I just assumed you would want to live closer to your parents; somewhere in Pennsylvania.”
“How’s the fish doing?” Bill asked, taking the seat next to me.
“It’s cooking, Dad.” Ryan pushed the tin foil pack closer to the center. He was not going to be distracted from his train of thought.
“Honey, it doesn’t matter to me. As long as I’m close to an airport I can live anywhere, but I’m not going any further west than Pittsburgh. What these people pay for homes in California is crazy. I could build a ten thousand square foot house here for the same amount of what you’d pay for a one bedroom apartment in L.A.”
“Ryan, are you planning on coming home for Thanksgiving?” Ellen interrupted.
“I was planning on it," he answered, turning his attention to her. “I want Taryn to meet Nick and Janelle, and I want to take her to Mellon Arena for a hockey game. I have to ask David to check on game dates and tickets.”
Ryan looked back at me, resuming our original conversation. “The only decision you need to make is what to do with the bar. If you still want to manage it too, then we have to live closer to the coast.”
“Pull that back to the edge, Son. It’s going to burn there,” Bill instructed.
While Ryan was distracted, I stood up from my chair.
“Excuse me, please,” I murmured. I pulled my car keys out of my coat pocket as I crossed the lawn.
Ryan trotted up behind me. “Tar, what’s up? Are you going somewhere?”
Part of me wanted to get the guitar out of the car; the other part did not want to have to think about selling the bar in order to keep a boyfriend.
“No. I’m not going anywhere,” I muttered.
“I thought maybe I upset you. Did I?” He took hold of my arm, stopping me from taking the next five steps that would put me at my car door.
“No. I’m not upset. I’m…” I sighed. “I’m not really ready to make those kinds of decisions, Ryan.”
“I understand. I’m sorry. I know… I’m rushing you.”
“Yeah, a little,” I whispered. “I need some processing time. I thought we’d stay in the apartment a while longer. You know, start there.” Frustration coated my words. I think I even huffed. I felt like everything was in fast-forward and at any moment, the proverbial carpet would get yanked out from underneath my feet.
Ryan looked conflicted by my reaction. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”
He took me by the hand and led me towards the dock. We sat down on the long bench in the shadow of the cabin lights.
“Taryn, since I’ve met you, I’ve been thinking a lot about the future.” He scratched his forehead before looking me in the eyes again. “I can’t help it.”
Ryan picked up my hand and twined our fingers together.
“When I was out there on the lake today, all I could think about was building a house right over there in that clearing. I could see it all in my head.