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Women in Love

Page 295

'Perhaps,' he said. 'Why should I want him to be free, if it isn't his

business?' She paused for a time.

'We can't MAKE him happy, anyhow,' she said. 'He'd have to be it of

himself.' 'I know,' he said. 'But we want other people with us, don't we?' 'Why should we?' she asked.

'I don't know,' he said uneasily. 'One has a hankering after a sort of

further fellowship.' 'But why?' she insisted. 'Why should you hanker after other people? Why

should you need them?' This hit him right on the quick. His brows knitted.

'Does it end with just our two selves?' he asked, tense.

'Yes--what more do you want? If anybody likes to come along, let them.

But why must you run after them?' His face was tense and unsatisfied.

'You see,' he said, 'I always imagine our being really happy with some

few other people--a little freedom with people.' She pondered for a moment.

'Yes, one does want that. But it must HAPPEN. You can't do anything for

it with your will. You always seem to think you can FORCE the flowers

to come out. People must love us because they love us--you can't MAKE

them.' 'I know,' he said. 'But must one take no steps at all? Must one just go

as if one were alone in the world--the only creature in the world?' 'You've got me,' she said. 'Why should you NEED others? Why must you

force people to agree with you? Why can't you be single by yourself, as

you are always saying? You try to bully Gerald--as you tried to bully

Hermione. You must learn to be alone. And it's so horrid of you. You've

got me. And yet you want to force other people to love you as well. You

do try to bully them to love you. And even then, you don't want their

love.' His face was full of real perplexity.

'Don't I?' he said. 'It's the problem I can't solve. I KNOW I want a

perfect and complete relationship with you: and we've nearly got it--we

really have. But beyond that. DO I want a real, ultimate relationship

with Gerald? Do I want a final, almost extra-human relationship with

him--a relationship in the ultimate of me and him--or don't I?' She looked at him for a long time, with strange bright eyes, but she

did not answer.

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