Without You

I glanced over to Will, who was talking to his father. I watched his mouth move, the way he talked with his hands, and how he chewed his food. I smiled when he laughed after someone had said something funny. I was feeling so guilty that he hadn’t come home until now, and I feared his parents resented me because of it.

My mother leaned over and whispered, “Alex, you’re staring at Will, sweetheart.”

I nodded my head. “I’ve missed him.”

“I know, but you’re really staring.”

I giggled and looked at her. “We can blame it on the scorpions.”

She let out a small laugh and shook her head. I peeked over to my daddy.

He mouthed to me, Talk to him.

I will, I mouthed back.

I glanced around the huge table.

Daddy and Uncle Jeff had put together two huge tables, so everyone would be able to sit together. When we were younger, all of us kids had sat at the kids’ table. That had been until Will and Libby started having food fights and getting the rest of us in trouble.

I turned back to look at Will. Now, he was staring at me. We both smiled, and the butterflies in my stomach began to fly around.

I love him. I will always love him.

In that moment, it hit me harder than anything ever had before. I needed to let him know how I felt. I wasn’t going to let this evening end without telling him.

Luke, Colt, and I all carried the extra table down to the barn and up to the loft.

I looked around and smiled when I saw the bed. “You think your parents still sneak out here, Colt?”

Colt made a disgusted face, but then he smiled slightly and shook his head. “Yeah, I’m sure they do. I want a love like that someday.”

Luke and I both let out a long breath and looked at each other.

Luke busted out laughing and said, “Damn girls.”

“Hell, you got that right,” Colt said. “They drive you crazy. They don’t tell you what’s really on their minds, and when they do, they don’t give you any damn warning.”

I shook my head. “What’s going on with you and Lauren?”

Colt grunted. “After she blew me off that night, I ended up getting back together with Rachel, who I can barely stand. Now, Lauren is pissed at me because I’m dating Rachel.” He shook his head. “Makes me just want to give up on women altogether.”

“No! Don’t ever talk that way, dude. A man needs a vagina to function.” Luke sat down in a chair and leaned back, balancing it on the back legs.

I looked at him. “Really? You just said that?”

“Hey, I could have said pussy, but I kept it clean. It’s true though. A man does need pussy to survive in this world.”

Colt started laughing. “Damn, Luke. What is wrong with you?”

Luke held up his hands and laughed. “Keeping it real. Just keeping it real.”

“That’s why he has his fuck buddy. No strings. Just a fun way to survive in this world. Isn’t that right, Luke?”

I closed my eyes when I heard Libby’s voice. Shit.

I turned and looked at Libby, Grace, Lauren, Taylor, and Lex all standing there.

“What?” Luke lost his balance on the chair and dropped backward to the floor.

Libby smiled and shook her head. “I’m heading out for a while to meet someone. I don’t have my car. Can I borrow your truck, Will?”

“Uh…”

Luke jumped up. “You’re going out? On Christmas night? Where in the hell are you going?”

Libby glared at Luke. “Jason’s in town, and he asked if I wanted to meet him for dessert.”

Luke laughed. “What kind of dessert, Lib?”

“Watch it, Luke,” I said through gritted teeth.

“The kind you’ll never get from me, Luke.”

I snapped my head over and looked at Libby. She walked up to me and held her hand out for my truck keys.

“Wait. What did you just say?” I asked.

“Can I borrow your truck or not, Will?”

I looked at Lex and then back at Libby. I reached in, pulled out my truck keys, and handed them to her. I watched her walk away, and then I glanced at Luke. His hands were balled into fists.

Lauren walked up and waited a few seconds. “She isn’t going to meet anyone. You pissed her off with your comment, Luke.”

“How long were y’all in here?” Colt asked.

Lauren smiled and sat down. “Long enough.”

I rolled my eyes. I’m so tired of games.

I glanced over to Lex, who was standing at the edge of the stairs. She gave me a look and then headed back down. I quickly followed.