When We Love

The girl next to me gives me a look that would freeze the polar cap back into its original shape, as everybody starts singing loudly, belting out the national anthem.

I stand watching the faces around me, in awe because never before have I seen anything like this, the discipline, the pride, the pleasure of being a part of something greater than you are. I have always imagined people of higher standing, those at the top of the food chain, as being conceited, arrogant and full of their own self-importance.

Looking at them now - not including the snobbish girl standing next to me-it seems I might have judged them too soon. The majority of the kids surrounding me, look as if they are just like me, trying to make our mark in life.

Although, I am sure for most of them, it is easier than for most of us. I am sure their greatest concerns were the same as mine - getting into a great college, being accepted, to love and to be loved, have friends, go to parties, acne, appearance, and weight, to mention but a few of my most pressing concerns.

When the last note of the anthem fades away, everybody starts to turn silently to his or her nearest exit and we file out of the hall in neat lines. I catch myself still staring at everyone and everything flabbergasted, remembering to keep my lips tightly pressed together so I do not start looking like a fish on dry land.

Everything here is so organized and everybody seems so disciplined, so different from the real world, the world I am from-my world.

On the day my parents and I came here for our tour, I received a timetable and a layout of the school grounds, which I had memorized, so now I follow the girl, who was not so long ago sitting next to me, out of the hall, walking behind her neatly.

Once I am out of the hall, I walk straight to my first class, which is just off the corridor, to the right of the assembly hall - luckily very easy to find.

When I get there, I follow the other navy blazers into the class, and everyone sits down at his or her respective desk.

I am left standing in front of the class, waiting for the teacher to come and allocate a desk to me. I stare out the window, to avoid the twenty pairs of eyes I can feel watching me. I hear giggles and whispering, which I know is at my expense. As the seconds tick by, I feel myself inching deeper and deeper into the ground, swallowed slowly, but surely, into the pits of humiliation.