When We Love

CHRISSIE

I sit in the great assembly hall, a sea of navy surrounding me, and I smile politely at the girl sitting next to me. She smiles back, but it seems obligatory. She looks down at me pretentiously, and I sink back into my chair, thinking how tough all of this is going to be.

Today is my first day at The Christian Academy, and it is daunting. My nerves are nibbling away at my insides and I can feel their little nudges and pinches in the pit of my stomach. I was, eventually, after a lot of interviews, red tape and paperwork, accepted on a full scholarship here after my dad decided to come to The Christian Academy and inquire about their scholarship program. Despite sounding conceited, I am academically gifted, so without studying hard I have the ability to do exceptionally well by only paying attention in class. I am very grateful to be here because in my seventeen years, here on earth, to date, this is my only claim to fame-securing this scholarship.

My dad was over the moon happy and proud of himself for producing such a gifted offspring and secretly, in the privacy of our own home, he would exclaim how I would not have to go to school with so many black kids any more.

I am excited and looking forward to today because it presents new challenges, which in turn, would mean I can become anybody and anything I want to be. I can pursue a dream career, not something I have thought of often before now because I have not seen many opportunities ahead of me.

I was never short of acquaintances at my old school, Mt. Pleasant Public School, known for high-test scores state-wide. Everyone spoke to me, they were friendly to me, but no one ever told me the latest gossip, never inviting me to parties and I certainly was never best friends with anyone. I did once have a boyfriend for a very short space in time, nothing spectacular or amazing and that just petered out eventually, as we moved on and grew older.

When I appraise myself critically in the mirror, I see a regular face, nice enough hair, and long, dark eyelashes framing my deep blue eyes perfectly. I will never fit into a size zero, and sometimes, this depresses me, but what can you do about genetics. I am 'blessed' with a curvy body.

The dean in the front of the hall drone on and on and I have stopped listening long ago, so when everybody suddenly stands up, as one, I leap up as well. Mine is seemingly the last head popping up in the mass of blue.