Waiting on the Sidelines

Walking through campus that evening to the dance wasn’t as exciting since I’d been hit with my news making quote that morning. I thought about texting Reed more than a few times, but we hadn’t talked all summer, and the thought of trying to reconnect over the mess I’d made just made my stomach bunch. I hadn’t heard from my parents, and I hadn’t heard from Buck by phone or email, so I had an inkling of hope that the story slipped by others unnoticed. But I knew that was probably a delusion, since Buck was like a one-man clipping service for Reed.

The music pumped and lights cast shadows on the concrete walls and statues in the atrium of the art school. The picture was breathtaking, and for a while I was able to dance and lose myself with Sienna, Sarah, Travis and Nick. Just as I thought, Nick and Sarah paired off with one another quickly, leaving Sienna, Travis and I to dance uncomfortably with one another to the slow songs.

Micah ended up showing up an hour into the dance and stole Sienna away from our group easily, and since Travis really wasn’t much of a dancer, he and I ended up sitting on one of the concrete walls, watching the crowd of bodies blend below us. Feeling my energy, Travis leaned into me a bit, causing me to look up at him a little. “Where you at?” he questioned. “Because I know it isn’t here.”

I just smiled faintly, he was right. Reading that story had done more than just thrust me into embarrassment from my quote. It made me miss Reed all over again, maybe even more than I did before. I wanted to go back and look at the picture more closely, knowing it had probably been taken just a few days ago. I smiled inwardly a little thinking about how Reed looked right now.

“I think maybe I’m going to go home, if that’s ok with you?” I hated leaving him here alone, but I also knew Travis was a bit of a player and would probably be making out with a girl by the time the night was over.

“You want me to walk you? It’s late,” he was starting to slide down from the wall to stand with me, but I just put my hand on his knee to stop him.

“No, I’ll be fine. There are security guards all over the walk, and it’s not that far. I’ll keep my phone out, though, and I promise I’ll call you if I get jumped from the bushes,” I joked, realizing he was already checking out a leggy blonde girl dancing near Sarah. He just nodded a little, smiled and walked away to work his charm.

The walk back was crowded with other freshman who were walking from the dorms to the dance and the recreation center all evening. It was only 9 p.m., so I didn’t feel anxious about being alone.

I was at our dorm entrance in minutes and walked by the front desk where I flashed my card key that unlocked the main door. I noticed a few letters in my mailbox and pulled them out to flip through them as I took to the stairs. The first was a postcard from Sean from San Diego bragging that his weather was better than mine. The second was from my mom, sweetly telling me that she was proud of me and wanted the honor of being my first piece of mail. I wouldn’t dare tell her that I’d read Sean’s card first.

I was breathing a little harder by the time I made it up the five flights and opened the stairwell door to head down the hall to go to our room at the end. I saw the flip flops and bare feet first, stopping me in my tracks. Reed’s legs were unmistakable, tanned and muscular, his college basketball shorts draped down to his knees. His long legs were jetting out from the wall, his body leaning against my door as he sat on the floor, his eyes closed as he listened to music through his headphones. His hat was pulled down a little over his eyes and his hands were stuffed in the pockets of his sweatshirt.

Not wanting to disturb him, he looked so perfect and peaceful, I stood still for a few seconds. He was everything I’d remembered, and somehow, over the few months I’d been away from him, he’d grown so much. My mouth went dry as I thought about my words in the paper, and my palms started to sweat when I realized he was probably here to yell at me for being so careless with the reporter and taking the focus off of his achievements.

For a moment, I considered turning around and going to find Sienna to ask her what I should do. But I kept forging forward instead. Finally at his feet, I kicked them a little with my own and he startled awake, pulling his hat from his head and running his fingers through his hair that was once again a little longer.

He stood awkwardly, stretching and trying to get to his feet. I held my breath as I waited for him to speak. When he didn’t, I reached into my pocket for my keys and stared him in the eyes, sure I hadn’t blinked for over a minute. “Wanna…come in?” I asked, sucking my lip in and holding my breath yet again.