The Rocker Who Holds Me (The Rocker 1)

“That…” She shook her head. “That would be awesome. Thank you!”

I shrugged watching her scribble across a small piece of paper. “It’s nothing. I like meeting real Demon’s Wings fans. Thanks again.” Nik snatched up the eight bags and followed me out of the store with a wink at the girl.

Chapter 14

I slept alone that night. Call me childish and immature, I don’t care. I call it protection. After the episode at the mall and my battle with my jealousy I couldn’t handle spending another night in Nik’s arms without giving my feelings away.

So I locked my door when I went to bed that night and didn’t move when I heard Nik’s knock. “Em, please don’t do this.” He had called, but I had just set on my bed.

This morning I was already showered and dressed, but I wasn’t ready to go down and be nice to everyone. So I set on my bed with my hair still damp and my laptop open. There were a few emails that I had to handle from Rich. He wasn’t happy about the guys not going on tour in September and I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t know how much Nik had told his manager, but I was aware that the asshole was blaming me.

After handling the business end of the emails I grabbed my phone, snapped a picture of me giving the middle finger and texted it to Rich Branson. Yeah, I really gave a shit about what he thought of me. Whatever.

I was surfing the net looking for reviews on local OB/GYNs when I got a text back. Pregnancy has really calmed down your bitchiness, princess. NOT.

Instead of calling to scream at him for calling me ‘princess’, I just resent the picture of me giving him the finger and tossed my phone aside. An hour later I was out of my room and downstairs. Jesse was watching some disgusting zombie movie on the flat screen in the living room and I wished I had time to sit and watch it with him.

“Where you going?” He asked when I picked up the keys to the SUV.

“I was able to get an appointment with a really good doctor.” I called over my shoulder. “They had a cancelation this afternoon and were able to squeeze me in. I have to get going or I’m going to be late.”

He followed me out the door. “Where’s Nik? Don’t you think he should go with you?”

I shrugged. “He wasn’t in his room and I don’t have time to worry about it.” I climbed into the driver’s seat and started punching in the address for the medical complex into the GPS.

Jesse jumped in beside of me. “Someone should go with you.” He gave me a hard look that told me not to argue. Not that I would have. I was glad to have his company and the support of someone who loved me.

With a smile I backed out of the driveway and turned toward Panama City.

The staff was friendly and professional. I had to fill out countless forms when I arrived. Insurance, family and personal medical history. There was an entire page on my period. When was my first period? How many days did my flow last? How often is my cycle? On the back there were even more personal questions. How many sexual partners have you had? Have you had/currently have an STD?

Jesse sat patiently beside of me while I filled out everything and went back with me when the nurse called my name. It wasn’t lost on me that Nik should have been with me today. And I was feeling the need for his presence as the visit wore on. I tried calling him twice while we waited for the doctor to come in, but he wasn’t picking up. I figured he was paying me back for not letting him in my room last night.

When Dr. Morgan stepped into the room I was surprised by how pretty she was. In her late thirties, she had an ageless beauty about her. I figured she would be this beautiful when she was eighty. She gave me a kind smile and shook my hand. “Hello Ember. It’s nice to meet you.” She offered her hand to Jesse. “Are you dad?”

“No, ma’am. Just a friend.”

Dr. Morgan raised a brow but didn’t comment as she took a seat and laid her iPad on the little table beside of her chair. “Well, Ember, tell me a little about your pregnancy.”

“I’m nineteen weeks and it’s a girl.” I wasn’t sure what the doctor wanted, but that was all I really knew about my pregnancy.

“And you just recently found out?” I nodded. “Okay. Well, let me tell you about a few things that we need to do. We have to get some blood work and I need to do a Pap smear. These are all routine tests to make sure that you and the baby are healthy. Since you are already so far along in your pregnancy I would like to do another ultrasound to get some measurements and to confirm your due date.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” She pulled a small device from her coat pocket. “First I would like to take a listen to the baby’s heartbeat if that’s okay?”

I sat back and the doctor pulled my tee shirt up. A little gel on the end of the device and she was pushing it against my lower abdomen. She moved it around a few times and then the room was filled with the noise that could not be mistaken for anything but the heartbeat of my baby.

“That’s amazing.” Jesse whispered from his chair against the wall.

I sent him a watery smile. “I know.”

“Fuck, Em. This is real, huh? You’re really having a baby.” He rubbed his hands over his bald head.

The doctor laughed softly. “There is undeniably a baby in there. Sounds good. A strong heartbeat.” She took the device away and used a paper towel to wipe the gel from my skin. “Now for the unpleasant part, Ember.” She pulled out a gown and a paper blanket from the cabinet under the table where her iPad was. “Everything off. I’ll step outside while you get undressed. The gown opens in the front.”

I waited until she was gone before reaching for my shirt. Jesse stood and turned his back until I had the gown on and the paper blanket covered me. I wasn’t embarrassed to have Jesse there. We were comfortable with our bodies and the nature of our relationship that he had seen me naked more than a few times.

When I had my first period it was Jesse who bought me tampons and then showed me how to us them. That might sound inappropriate, but there hadn’t been anyone else to help me. My mom had been passed out after a night of booze, crack, and men and I had been terrified of what was going on with my body.

A minute later the doctor returned and I had my first experience with the torture that was called a Pap smear. “This is just to check for cervical cancers and STDs.” Dr. Morgan explained as she did something that made me whimper. In the next second it was all over. “Looks good, Ember. Your cervices are nice and closed.” She pulled off her gloves and tossed them in the trash before washing her hands.