The Rocker Who Holds Her (The Rocker 5)

Maybe Emmie didn’t love me as much as I thought.

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It took me four days to come to my senses. Four days of pain that went soul deep and left me feeling as if I had a mortal wound that kept festering every time I so much as looked at Emmie. We had been fighting almost constantly over the last four days. Not over getting married, because she refused to talk about that. But everything else, even the way I burped Mia, was a subject that had us practically screaming at each other.

On the fifth day, I woke up to an empty bed and realized I was out of my mind. Emmie was just scared. That was the only reason I could come up with to explain her refusal to get married. She hated change. Change had always been a bad thing in her eyes.

The first change I had forced on her was when I had left with the band. Her life had been turned upside down with no one around to take care of her while she had to deal with her mother. The second was when we brought her to live with us on the road. While that hadn’t been traumatic, it had been life changing and probably scary for the fifteen year old she had been. And then when Mia had come she had been so sick with her postpartum depression that she had nearly lost herself for a while.

Her fear of change had kept her from admitting her feelings for me. That fear had her begging Shane, Drake, and Jesse not to leave her when we had finally settled down in Malibu. And now I could see that that same fear was keeping her from marrying me.

I had to give her time and pray that she would realize that out of all the changes I had made in her life, marrying me was not going to hurt her in any way.

It was with that mentality that I stepped into the shower. Fifteen minutes later I was downstairs following my nose to something that smelled so good my stomach growled in appreciation. Steak and eggs! Oh sweet heavens.

The kitchen was busy this morning. Layla was cooking for everyone while Jesse had a goofy grin on his face. Shane was at the kitchen table with Lana and Drake talking about plans for the night while Emmie spoke rapidly on her phone with a determined look on her face that told me she was taking care of some business issue.

“Morning people,” I greeted, noticing that Lucy and Mia were absent from our family gathering. “Where are the babies?”

“Morning.” Layla gave me a megawatt smile that had me stumbling a little at how beautiful it was. Shit, she was pretty when she was happy. “Lucy is still at her sleepover and should be home soon. Mia is napping.”

I stopped pulling out the chair between Emmie and Lana. “Okay, what did I miss?”

Jesse grabbed hold of Layla’s waist and pulled her down onto his lap. “Congratulate me, bro. I’m getting married today.”

For one brief second I was overcome with jealousy. Jesse had known his girl all of five minutes and he was already getting married. Meanwhile, Emmie had always been my other half and I couldn’t get her to even talk about the dreaded M-word. It wasn’t fair any way I looked at it.

But then my love for my band brother and best friend pushed down that evil jealous monster, and I was thrilled for the happy couple. I vetoed the chair and went around the table to clap the big bald rocker on the back. “That’s fucking awesome, Jess! Congrats, dude.” I bent my head and brushed a quick kiss over Layla’s cheek. “Welcome to the family, Lay.”

Emmie tossed her iPhone onto the table, a grin on her face. “It’s set. I got the nicest chapel in Vegas and was able to get us all rooms for tonight at the hotel we normally stay in. As soon as Lucy gets home we can go.”

Jesse let out a whoop and kissed Layla long and hard. I dropped down in my seat beside Emmie and reached for the plate of breakfast that Layla had made for me. Shane and Drake were talking about their own plans for after the wedding while Lana looked almost hung over. I shot her a concerned glance, noticing her pale face and set jaw. Drake asked her a question and she gave a tight smile and remained silent.

I worried about her as I ate my breakfast, but before I could question her, she excused herself to pack for the overnight trip. I grimaced as I watched her walk away. Whatever was wrong with her I didn’t feel like I had a right to ask questions, but if she didn’t look better by the time we left for Vegas I would ask Jesse to talk to her.

After I rinsed my plate and put it in the dishwasher—something I had come a little more accustomed to doing since we had first moved in—I headed upstairs to pack. Emmie had enough to worry about with getting Mia ready to go to have to deal with packing my things. To my surprise, however, she was sitting on our bed when I walked into the bedroom.

I raised an eyebrow at her as I crossed over to my closet and pulled my smaller suitcase from the back. “I figured you would be running around getting Mia’s things set.”

“I did that already.” She stood and I sensed her walking toward me. “Can we talk?”

I shot her a glance over my shoulder. “Yeah, sure, baby.”

I grabbed a pair of jeans and tossed them in the open case then turned to face her. As she walked toward me I noticed the ring I had given her winking back at me. I took it as a good sign that despite the fact Emmie refused to get married, she hadn’t taken her engagement ring off once—not even when she slept. Emmie didn’t even sleep with her nose ring in, so why the engagement ring?

Emmie bit her lip and I had to look away. Dammit, I wanted her so bad I was one big ache. We hadn’t had sex in months, and for the last five days we hadn’t so much as kissed or held each other at night. “We’ve been arguing a lot and I hate it. I know that I made you mad the other night when I told you I don’t want to get married. I’m sorry, Nik.”

Despite my throbbing body and the fear that I would come in my pants at just a brush of her body against mine, I reached out and pulled her against me. I couldn’t stand the distance that I had inadvertently caused between us. I had been so anxious to get her to set a date that I had nearly ruined everything between us. “I’m sorry, Emmie. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard. You still have fears, and I will try my damnedest not to rush you. I just hope that one day what we have will seem too little and you will want more with me.”

Her eyes darkened with something I couldn’t decipher. I didn’t question it as I brushed a tender kiss over her lips and stepped back before I embarrassed myself by spraying in my shorts at even that innocent contact.

Chapter 20

…Emmie…

It was a bitch trying to put a wedding together in less than twenty-four hours.

I was on my phone nearly the entire way to Vegas. Just because I had the chapel ready to go and hotel rooms reserved for everyone didn’t mean that everything was ready. I had to make sure that all the guys got tuxes. No way was I going to let my best girlfriend get married with her man in jeans and a Demon’s Wings T-shirt.