The Fragile Ordinary

The angry part of me wanted to go to the party to show Tobias that very thing. Yet the concerned part of me was wondering why Tobias and Stevie were hanging around some guy who was possibly a criminal. My protectiveness toward them flared despite their ill treatment of me lately.

“You’re right. Let’s do it.”

THE FRAGILE ORDINARYSAMANTHA YOUNG

15

Bye to all those lonesome detours,

For you are mine and I am yours.

—CC

This was a bad idea.

I’d known it was a bad idea before we’d even stepped foot into the flat where the party was being held, but the feeling of trepidation I’d felt only worsened as we made our way through the crowded, narrow hall.

Head-pounding dance music flooded from the center of the flat, the deep bass vibrating in my chest, making my heart rate speed up. The smell of cigarette smoke, stale beer and musty air surrounded me, as I took in the mix of age groups with uneasiness. There were people my age, but there were also girls a little older, perhaps eighteen onward into their early twenties, and there were men much older than that.

As I passed an older girl eyeballing Vicki, Steph and me, she blew smoke from her rolled-up cigarette at me and I wrinkled my nose at the pungent, awful, herby smell. That lady was not smoking a normal cigarette.

“This was a bad idea.” I turned to the girls at the opening to the living room. “Maybe we should leave.”

“It’s just a little weed, Comet,” Steph said. “Relax.”

I huffed and turned back to the crowded room. Searching the faces of the people milling around, drinking, smoking, talking, some snogging each other’s mouths off, I couldn’t find Tobias. This was a mistake.

And then three people moved, revealing a sofa and coffee table in the middle of the room. Surrounded by older boys I didn’t recognize was Stevie. As if in slow motion, like some horrid scene in a movie, I watched as Stevie leaned over the coffee table with a rolled-up bit of paper, placed it against his nose and inhaled a line of white powder from the coffee table.

“Holy crap.” I thought I heard Vicki say over the excruciatingly loud music. “Did Stevie just snort cocaine?” she yelled in my ear.

Yes.

My friend Stevie just did a line of cocaine in some stranger’s dodgy flat.

Betrayal stabbed me in the gut as I watched him wipe his nose and settle back on the couch to laugh at something one of his companions said. It was then I noticed Jimmy was there, too. Where was Tobias?

I couldn’t see him in the room...but was this why he and Stevie had stopped hanging out with me? Was Tobias in on this, too? Throwing his life away? Rage rushed through me as I spun on my friends. “Where’s Tobias?”

“Who cares?” Steph yelled. “Let’s get out of here. This was definitely a bad idea.”

“What happened to ‘it’s just weed’?” I snapped.

“That was...” She gestured behind us and then pointed her hand toward the coffee table. “That’s a much longer jail sentence!”

“I’m not leaving!” I shook my head. Not until I found Tobias so he, Stevie and I could get out of there.

Steph looked at me like I was crazy.

Vicki scowled at me. “I’m not leaving without you!”

“Then you’re not leaving yet either!”

Steph raised her hands in the air. “Idiots! My parents catch me here and I’m dead! Sorry, I’m out!” She pushed her way back through the gathering crowds in the hallway.

“You should go after her!”

Vicki shook her head. “Not leaving without you!”

Sighing, I spun back around to do another search of the room. Definitely no Tobias. When I looked back at Vicki she was pulling her jacket closed over the V-neck sweater she was wearing, staring warily across the room. Following her gaze I saw a man who might be in his thirties leering at her. I hated the idea of Vicki being in this hellhole just for me. “Go wait outside,” I said loudly. “If I’m not out in fifteen minutes, come find me.”

“Comet—”

“Go!” I shooed her. “I’ll be fine.”

Reluctantly my friend left, shooting one last wary look at the leering creeper.

I pushed my way back into the hallway but this time I turned left into the small kitchen. It was crowded, too. I stood on tiptoes and ducked down low, attempting to see past bodies to the people sitting at the small breakfast table.

Not Tobias.

Feeling overwhelmingly warm in my jacket, the same tailcoat hem one that Tobias had said he liked so much, I tried to open the buttons on it and realized I was trembling like crazy. Forcing back tears that would be of absolutely no use, I leaned against the wall by the kitchen door and closed my eyes.

I think I was in shock.

Why would Stevie take cocaine? Cocaine! My God. I gritted my teeth in outrage. And my goodness, if I discovered that Tobias was doing drugs, too, I was going to tear him limb from limb!

I just want tae disappear. Forget everything. Ye ever want tae just disappear, Comet?

Fresh tears stung my nose and I shuddered, holding them back. Oh, Stevie, there are better ways to disappear.

Feeling hollow, I opened my eyes and jerked back against the wall. An unfamiliar guy was standing in front of me, smiling quizzically.

He was just a little taller than me with dark eyes and close-shaven hair. There was a wiry hardness about his build that reminded me of Stevie. He was dressed similarly, too, in a sports T-shirt and tracksuit bottoms. My study of him made him smile, revealing crooked teeth that gave him a friendly snarl.

He might have been cute if I didn’t feel so alone, shocked and intimidated by this entire place.

“Dean,” he said loudly, holding out his free hand. He held a bottle of beer in his other.

Realizing this was Dean Angus and thus it was his party, and frightened of bringing trouble on myself, I decided the best thing to do was shake his hand politely. “Comet.”

“Sorry?” He leaned in, turning his ear toward me so he could hear.

“Comet.”

He shook his head and grinned at me. “I didn’t get that.”

And he probably never would with this dance racket thudding through the entire building. “Corrine!” I lied on a shout.

Dean nodded. “Nice to meet you. Who are you here with?”

Lie, Comet, lie. “Iain,” I said confidently, hoping there were so many people here Dean would think nothing of it.

I was right. He just nodded again. “Where do you work, then?”

“I’m still at school.”

“College?”

Damn my height. I shook my head and his brows furrowed. “High school? What age?”

“Sixteen,” I answered honestly, hoping that would send him on his way.

To my distaste he smirked and stepped closer, completely invading my personal space. The smell of aftershave was almost obliterated by the stale smell of beer on his breath. “Let’s go into my bedroom.”

That was it? That was how fast these things happened? Really? He just expected me to go into his bedroom...and to what? Have sex with him? I shuddered at the thought.

“I better find my friends.” I moved to the side, hoping to slip away, but he grabbed my arm and I felt his hot breath on my ear.

“Stay. Find them later.” His hand left my arm to settle on my hip, and he squeezed, making me jump back against the wall. The dipshit didn’t even give me a moment to breathe, pressing his body up against mine to whisper in my ear, “I’ve been eyeing yer legs since ye walked in.” His hand was back on my hip again, “Please tell me ye’ve not got a boyfri—”

Suddenly he was stumbling back from me, his beer splashing over his T-shirt.

My eyes flew to the reason and relief crashed over me.

Tobias.

He glowered down at Dean, looking ready to...well, kill him.

“What the fuck?” Dean threw the bottle in the corner and stood up to Tobias, not even caring that Tobias had at least four inches and many pounds of muscle on him. “Ye playing at, King?”

“You leave her alone.” Tobias stepped in front of me, blocking me from Dean’s gaze.

“This is my place. I’ll talk to who I want. Take who I want. Don’t see yer name written on her.”