The Bairn of Brianag

The next morning when I rose, the room blurred at the edges; clouds covered my eyes. I sat down quickly, lest I fall to the floor and be discovered. In a moment, the giddiness passed. My heart raced once again. I had never felt such a thing before.

But the next day, and for the next week, I felt my usual self, and began to think that I was imagining myself into a malady.

I felt my mother growing more suspicious of me each day. I felt that she had not really believed me when I told her the lie; but perhaps it was only because it was a lie. I went out onto the verandah late at night and sat on the steps, hoping that she would follow me and see that I was indeed sitting on the porch and not lying in a slave cabin, but I did not know if she ever saw me or not. I hoped to be found by Kevin and Robbie as they returned from one of their escapades, but I did not see them.

Another week passed. August and her family departed for the mountains and the healing springs. Robbie did not come to Gillean; Kevin told me that he had gone back to the Wateree district and the McDonald clan. I was aghast, but I did my best to hide my worry from Kevin. I was in one moment sure that I was with child and filled with elation; the next, perplexed and bereft. How could Robbie have gone away? I kept silent as I worked as diligently on the rug, hoping to keep my mother satisfied. I did not know what I would do.

I received a letter from Cathy; she told of her weariness and boredom and begged me to come again. The child was expected at the end of July; there would be ample time for me to visit. My father gave permission over my mother's protests; Kevin would travel with me.

I set off for Grant's Hill having no notion of what the next few weeks would hold.