The Bairn of Brianag

"Lawd, you are a wanton!" he said.

"For you only," I said.

"You must return to the house; your mother will look for you," he said.

I straightened my gown. "I suppose I must," I said.

He opened the gate and looked around before letting me through. "Go inside and to bed," he said. "I shall see you soon."

I went through the gate and he shut it behind me. I went alone across the lawn and into the house, and up the stairs. August was already sleeping. I woke Lily to help me undress and then lay down beside August, careful not to wake her.

My heart was singing with happiness. Robbie was here, and he was mine.

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After Midsummer the heat increased. It was too hot to ride in the afternoons; back home at Gillean, I was obliged to stay inside with my mother and do needlework. I scarcely saw Kevin or Robbie; though they were often at Gillean, they did not linger. I knew that they rode away in the evenings and returned in the hour before dawn; sleeping lightly, I would hear them returning from their carousing. I would not see them until dinner time; and then they would be away again.

My mother was short-tempered. Though I wished to do so, I could not avoid her.

She demanded to know when I had last bled. I thought quickly; I had forgotten it, but I told her that it had come while I was at Shannon's Loch, and she seemed mollified. Later, I searched my mind as I rested in my room.

I had lain with Robbie first on the last day of April. I had had no blood since then. It was now the last week of June.

My heart began to race, and a thrill rose in me. Perhaps, oh, perhaps . . . but I could not remember when my last bleeding had been. Surely it had been more than a week before we had been together . . . I did not know exactly the method by which one determined when a child was expected . . . perhaps even now Robbie's child was growing in me.

If it were so, then Robbie would marry me quickly. He could not refuse.

I fell to my knees beside my bed. "Our Father, which art in Heaven," I said fervently, then abandoned the prayer, whispering, "Oh, God, please, let his child be inside me! Please, let it be!"

I must speak with Robbie immediately, I must tell him.

But suppose I was mistaken?

I would wait another week. If my blood had not returned by then, I would speak to him.