Sweet Hope

As we approached, Levi’s head snapped up and his gray eyes locked on Axel who was holding my hand. We stood behind Austin and Lexi.

“Good game, Levi,” Lexi said trying to be upbeat. Levi ignored her, having eyes for one person only.

Axel’s hand was tight in mine. As Levi continued to glare at Axel, his hand adopted a slight shake. I closed my eyes briefly anticipating how this was going to go down.

Levi rose to his feet, dropping his helmet on the field. His sandy colored hair was in disarray, his face still flushed from the exertion of his game. Towering to the same height as Axel and Austin, his torso slightly leaner, Levi looked every inch a Carillo.

“Lev,” Austin said cautiously, “I knew Axe was coming, I helped plan it. He wanted to see you play. Nothing wrong with your brother wanting that, is there?”

Levi’s face beamed bright red and his lips tightened. “Yeah, but it all depends which brother, don’t it, Aust? You, or the fucking loser.”

Axel flinched at the venom in Levi’s tone. Austin shook his head in annoyance at his little brother. I almost said something myself as Axel kept his silence. But Axel suddenly released my hand and stepped forward.

Lexi threw me a panicked look and I quickly moved beside her. Austin stiffened as he watched Levi prep himself for a fight.

I had no idea what Axel would do if Levi lashed out.

Axel walked slowly to stand just a few feet from Levi. Levi fumed, legs unable to keep still.

“Back the fuck off, Axe,” Levi snapped, but Axel didn’t move.

“I ain’t going nowhere, fratellino. You’re my little brother and I wanted to see you play.”

Levi scoffed and inched forward. “Yeah? You wanted to see me play? You wanted to see me play the same way you wanted to see me in your precious crew.”

“They ain’t my precious crew, Levi. I get that now.”

Levi laughed in Axel’s face. My blood ran cold at his condescending tone. “You get it now? Mr fucking Heighter of the century, gets that those fuckers he did anything for are poison? Tell me, Axe, why couldn’t you fucking get that before you made me shoot someone!”

Axel paled, then went to say something. Levi cut him off. “No! You’ll fucking listen to what I’ve gotta say!” he screamed, his voice echoing around the stadium. “You, my big brother, the brother I looked up to, the one who should’ve had my back, made me shoot someone! I was fourteen and you made me shoot him! Do you realize how much sleep I’ve lost remembering that night? How many nightmares haunt me, torturing me as I wonder if I killed him?” Levi ran his hands down his face, tears streaming from his eyes. “Shit, Axe, you stood behind me pushing me do it! What the fuck kind of brother does that? I killed someone because you told me to. I worshipped you, trusted you and you made me kill someone! But now? Now I fucking HATE YOU!!!”

Axel dropped his head. I pictured the sculpture with the daggers; ‘Exsanguination’. Every one of Levi’s words were a dagger he couldn’t remove, cracking him slowly. I could see the pain in Axel’s face. Levi stepped closer still, and this time his fists clenched as his body pumped up… he was gonna fight Axel.

“Nothing to say, fratello?” Levi spat, the word ‘fratello’ sounding like a gunshot on his lips. When Axel said nothing in response, Levi launched forward and pushed square on Axel’s chest. “Speak, Goddamn you!” Levi shouted and pushed at Axel again. “FUCKING SPEAK!” Levi bellowed. Then I saw something snap inside Axel.

Whipping his head up, Axel grabbed the neck of Levi’s football pads in his fists and shook him, then slammed him to his chest. Levi went ashen as Axel’s face met his. “Don’t fucking push me, Lev, don’t fucking push me.”

Then to my surprise, Levi smiled, but there was pure rage behind that fake smile. “Why, Axe? ‘Cause you’ll kill me too, ruin me too?” Levi leaned forward until their noses almost touched, then whispered coldly, “Well it’s too fucking late. I fucking died when I was fourteen… when I lost everything because of you!”

Axel, reacting like he had just been burned, dropped his hands from Levi’s pads and staggered back a few steps. Levi laughed at seeing Axel so defeated. He continued, “Aww, what’s the matter, Axe? You feeling sorry for yourself now? Is the great ‘Axel Carillo’ pitying himself?”

Axel breathed in and out to control his breathing. He, then looked to Levi and rasped, “I’m sorry, Lev. I’m so fucking sorry for what I did to you… what I made you do. I’m so fucking sorry.”