Sometimes Never
Page 19“Jesus, Hope.” He squeezes me to the point I’m having trouble breathing. “You’re amazing. That girl is a stupid bitch. You know that, right?”
I laugh against his chest. “Yeah, I recognize a bitch when I see one.”
“Asshole,” Bailey spits as she glides past and all but rips the cafeteria doors off the hinges.
“You’re not an asshole,” I whisper.
“You’re not trash.”
“I’m sorry I said I hated you. I don’t. I actually like you a lot,” I confess.
“I know. I like you too. A lot.”
“I know.”
“I’m going to kiss you again.”
I smile. “I know.” And then he does.
Lunch is almost back to normal. Park still doesn’t sit with us. He’s two tables over with some guys that attend our shows. We make eye contact as soon as I take my seat. And just like yesterday, I look away first because honestly, I can’t stomach to look at him. Shifting my body, I open my oatmeal cream pie and tear pieces off.
“Did you get me one?” Chase asks.
I pause, sucking cream off my thumb. “Um…”
Chase rolls his eyes dramatically, sighing loudly. “I always get one for you when I buy one for myself. Always.”
“I’m…sorry…? I didn’t know we had some agreement to purchase snack pies for each other,” I say exasperated.
“No, not an agreement. An understanding. Just like Guy always gets extra fries for you to steal, and Mason always feeds your candy habit, and Park always keeps you in chocolate milk. We get one another cream pies!”
“Cheese and rice, Chase. Fine! I will go get you a damn oatmeal freaking pie!” Mason and Guy laugh like this is the funniest thing ever. Whatever. I shove my chair back and stomp off to the lunch line. Again. Freaking baby. I grab the stupid pie, and then grab another one just in case. I don’t want to piss anyone else off who believes we have some sort of silent snack arrangement.
“You forgot Chase’s cream pie?” Park asks suddenly beside me. My body stills.
“Don’t talk to me,” I mutter.
“I’m sorry. I feel like shit,” he says anyway.
I whip around to face him. “You should. I can’t believe you did that to me. We were friends before we were... I never would betray you like that.” I turn away and move up in line.
“You can’t. That’s the thing. You put it out there and now it’s too late.” I stare down at my shoes. My lace is coming untied, part of it dragging on the floor. “I don’t think I can forgive you.”
“You broke my heart.” My head snaps up. He smiles at me sadly. “I cared about you. I care about you. I wanted to be with you, really be with you. And then Mason shows up and you start acting weird. Ignoring me. It’s no excuse, but when I saw him hugging you…” He rubs his hand over his face. “He was calming down your panic attack. I’ve never seen anyone do that, but Guy. I could never do that. It fucking killed me to see some douche bag you’ve known for an hour able to do that for you. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt you. So I said the only thing I knew would break you as much as you broke me.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry for that. I tried to make it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.” I close my eyes. “You were the only person that knew about me. The only one. You were special. Now I can’t stand you.”
Chapter 23
Mason
“Not to sound like a complete jerk, but why does the majority of the female population at school dislike you so much?” I ask Hope as I drop beside her on the couch. It’s something I picked up on my first day and has become more apparent now that she’s been back from her suspension. Girls steer clear of her for some reason. And when they have to be around her, they treat her as if she isn’t even there, or act bitchy like Bailey. I can’t fathom it because I’m completely drawn to her. She’s pretty, funny, and passionate about music. I don’t get it.
She shrugs. “I don’t have a clue. They just always have.”
Guy hands us Popsicles and falls beside me. “That’s because all the girls know their dickhead, jock boyfriends are thinking about you while they’re with them.” He slides the orange Popsicle into his mouth and wiggles his brows.
“You’re disgusting,” Hope groans.
“Yeah, I don’t want to hear that shit,” I state dryly. God I hope that isn’t true. I know she isn’t my girlfriend, but I’d like her to be. Besides, she is a girl and she is my friend. I just don’t want guys thinking about her like that. “What I don’t get is how they all seem to like Annie, and Annie likes you. So why don’t they? Girls like that usually follow the leader.”
“Honestly?” Hope blows at the hair in her face. “I don’t care. I don’t like them either, so it’s all good.”
“I told you why,” Guy says. He licks dripping juice from his knuckle. “They’re jealous.”
“Yeah, of my rainbow hair, bad grades, and lack of friends.”
“No, smartass,” Guy sighs. He sits up and jabs his frozen orange treat at Hope. “They are jealous that you draw the attention of every guy at our school, including the jock assholes that date the cheerleaders and act like you’re a freak. All the straight dudes think you’re hot. I should know, they tell me all the time.” He rolls his eyes. “‘Hey, Guy, how can you be gay when you live with that?’ Or my favorite, ‘You should give Hope a try. If anyone can turn you straight, it’d be her.’” He licks the Popsicle before pointing it at her again. “That came from Christian Dunkin right before he proceeded to ask me where my dress was. Like I’d wear a stupid ass dress. I’m gay, not a cross dresser.” He leans back and continues to eat pensively.
Hope laughs quietly. “Was that before or after I kicked him in the testicles?”
He cocks his head to the side. “That was today in gym class.”
She has no reaction to this other than the lift of her eyebrows. She opens her Popsicle and puts it in her mouth. But it pisses me off. I can’t stand the thought of people talking about her that way, even if she has the star role in all my fantasies now. I know how guys think and I know how they act with their friends. I can guarantee Hope is the talk of the locker room.
“I’m pretty sure you just made him that much more interested in you,” Guy explains. “Some guys like it rough.” He grins at Hope. “I know I do.”
“Okay, I’m sorry I asked,” I say before taking a bite.
“Way too much information, Guy. Seriously.” Hope shakes her head, laughing. “So what are we doing today?”
“What? With who?”
He smiles. “With Samuel. I’m meeting him for a movie.”
“That dude you Skype with all the time?” Guy nods excitedly. “Ew. You aren’t seeing a movie. You’re hooking up with him in a movie theater. What is your obsession with public oral sex?”
I raise a brow. Yeah, too much info, for real. Guy chuckles. “Well you have seen him, right?”
“Yes, and he is cute, but can’t he come here, or you there?”
“You are totally asking me to make a joke with that statement,” I say.
Guy laughs. “Don’t worry Hope; I’ll make sure he comes lots of places.”
I try to suppress my amusement, but I can’t help the way my mouth turns up. I discreetly flip my hand out and Guy gives me five.
“Ugh. I do not need to hear about your sex life. Just make sure you at least sit in the back this time.” After a moment of thought, she adds. “And tell him I said hi. I feel like I know him after all that I’ve seen of him.” And I’m not sure I even want to know the situation in which she saw so much of Guy’s play toy.
“Seeing someone’s penis doesn’t make him your best friend,” Guy declares.
“Oh, man,” she sighs. “I’ve been making friends incorrectly this whole time.”
He tips the Popsicle stick at her. “And that’s why all the girls at school hate you.”
“This feels like the longest joke ever,” I say, laughing.
Guy stands up and bends at the waist, bowing. “That is what you call wit.”
“Not what I call it,” Hope murmurs.
“See? Wit.” Guy musses her hair as he walks past. “I’m jumping in the shower.”
“Wait. How are you meeting him?” Hope asks. “Who’s taking you?”
“Chase. He’s meeting some girl at the mall.”
I watch Guy disappear around the corner and turn to Hope. “So, why doesn’t he drive?”
She grins, tucking hair behind her ear. “I’m not supposed to talk about it. Let’s just say there was a very traumatic incident involving Guy, Alec’s car, and a very dead raccoon his first time behind the wheel.”
“Yeah. Never speak of it,” she warns seriously, but her eyes are bright with amusement and she winks at me.
“Probably best if I don’t make raccoon references either.”
“Mm, probably.”
“Where’d Kellin and Misty go?” I ask, just now noticing they aren’t at the kitchen table.
“They went outside with Dill Weed. Probably playing basketball.”
“So, we’re alone?”
She smiles at me, her lashes dropping, hooding her eyes. “Yep.”
“Want to go to a movie?” She looks up at me, glowering and I laugh. “Kidding. Unless you want to. To see a movie. For real, I mean.”
“I’m not sure if you’re asking me out or asking for oral sex.”
Uh... I seriously was joking up until her perfect lips formed the words oral sex while looking directly at me. My dick twitches against my pants with the thought and I clear my throat, shifting on the couch. Focus. “I’m trying to ask you out, just not very well. Do you want to go do something? The two of us? Like a date?”
“Like a date?” She obviously finds this humorous.
I run my fingers through my hair. It drops back into my eyes and she brushes it aside with the tips of her fingers. God that feels good. I catch her hand and hold it. “Will you go on a date with me?”
Hope grins and twines her fingers with mine. “Yes. When?”
Okay. She said yes. I feel like an idiot because I know I’m smiling manically, but I can’t help it. “Mom’s off on Sundays. Unless I can find someplace for Kellin to go. He hangs out with the neighbor sometimes. That might work. I’ll figure something out.”
“He could stay here and hang out with Misty. Guy could keep an eye on them. Not tonight, obviously, but whenever.”
“That would work,” I agree. “I’ll set it up.”
“All right. So what do you want to do now?”
I gaze at her. I cannot answer that question. I’m completely content just sitting on the couch with her, but I also want to taste the cherry on her lips that’s turned her mouth red. But it doesn’t stop there. I want to devour Hope. All of her. I want to make her mine. I want to kiss the scars on her thigh. I want...
I bend my head to hers, but I don’t kiss her. I want her to do it, like she did at school. I want to know she wants me like I want her. That I invade her thoughts and fantasies even half as much as she does mine.
“I want you to be with me,” I say, my lips brushing hers lightly as I talk. “Just me. Like your boyfriend.”