Something Old, Something New

His laugh was short. “I suppose not. The Spanish brought them in the 1400’s. That’s native enough for me. I’ve always been fascinated with them.”

She wrinkled her nose at him and leaned forward. “That’s because you’re a Texan.”

He tousled her hair with one hand, and the dimple appeared below his eye.

“Yes Heidi, and you’re an Arkie.”

His hand slid down the side of her face in a warm caress, his fingers finally cupping her chin and lifting it. He sobered.

“Do you mind?” He asked.

“That you’re a Texan?” she continued to tease. “Not at all.”

His gaze wandered over her face, his expression still sober. “If I bring Longhorns on the place,” he clarified.

She shrugged, gazing into his eyes. “A buffalo here, a Longhorn there . . . what difference does it make?”

His warm fingers left her chin, caressing their way down her neck. The closer they got to her heart, the harder it pumped. With that sudden rush of excitement came the realization that she had gone an entire day without longing for him. Had anyone asked if she was lonely, she would have said no. Of course she missed him when he was gone. That was to be expected - but it was more than that. Lately, her life was slowly being digested with desire to be with him every minute. That wasn’t normal.

“I love you,” he said, taking a step closer and pulling her into his arms.

Love and desire – was there actually a difference between the two when the first existed? She moved into his embrace in a non-verbal response that pushed all but one thought from her mind. What had been so forgettable earlier was now irresistible. Go figure.

In the morning there were dirty dishes from the night before for the first time in their marriage. She quickly put the plates in the dishwasher and dumped the stale water from the frying pan. By the time Alex arrived for breakfast, she had it on the table and was washing the frying pan in the sink. When he realized what she was doing, his eyes twinkled with humor.

“Come eat breakfast with me, sweetheart. That pan waited this long. It can wait a little longer.”

Carmen poured them both a cup of coffee and sat down with a couple pieces of toast.

“So when are we going to get the Longhorn?”

He sipped his coffee before responding. “I don’t know. I’ll have to go down there and look at it.” His gaze drifted over her face. “Would you like to go with me? I’ll only be gone a day or so.”

The idea of spending a day without him was unpleasant, but maybe that was what she needed to do. This preoccupation with him was becoming an obsession that was beginning to affect her ability to take care of the house. Surely she could get along without him for one day.

“No, I’d better stay here. Katie needs me right now.”

He ate in silence for a few minutes. “Well, sooner or later she’ll have to take care of the babies by herself.”

His attention was focused on the food in his plate. Maybe he felt neglected. If he only knew how much she wanted to go with him.

“Maybe we could go another time,” she offered.

“Maybe.” His tone was doubtful and he let the subject drop.

Nothing more was said about the trip for several days. Those days were filled with the fun of taking care of the twins. It was amazing how much they could change in less than a week. They were already beginning to develop different personalities. Tim was the quiet one and when Jim cried, everyone on the block knew he was unhappy. Much as she loved them both, she was beginning to form a special attachment to Tim. Was it normal to prefer one child over another? But then, she wasn’t their mother, so maybe it didn’t matter.

That night Alex was quiet during supper. Finally, when he sat down to read the paper, he revealed what had been on his mind all evening.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning to see the longhorn. Would you like to go with me?” He talked from behind the paper.

Carmen hesitated. Katie was feeling well enough to take care of the twins without help. A few days traveling with Alex sounded heavenly.

When she didn’t respond immediately, he lowered the paper, his expression hopeful. “I can get another ticket.”

“Ticket? I thought you were driving.”

He shrugged. “I can get there a lot faster by plane.”

Airplane. The idea of getting on an airplane squelched any plans for traveling with him.

“No, I’d better stay here. Besides, you probably want to visit with friends. I’d just be in the way.”

His brows drew together. “You wouldn’t be in the way, and I’d be proud to introduce you to any of my friends.” His gaze softened. “At any rate, I have no intention of visiting anyone. I plan to look the longhorn cow over and come home.”

On an airplane. She sighed. “I’d better stay here.”

His gaze traveled over her face again, his expression unreadable. Finally he lifted his brows. “Well, if you don’t want to go . . .” He disappeared behind the paper.

It was disturbing to think that he believed she didn’t want to be with him. Unfortunately, she couldn’t think of an explanation that would be true and make him feel better. Not knowing what to say, she said nothing.

“I won’t be gone long. I plan on leaving tomorrow morning and coming back on Sunday – just two days.”

She reached over and pulled the paper down. “Do you want me to drive you to the airport tomorrow and pick you up Sunday?”

He shook his head. “No, I’ll drive my truck and leave it there.”

“Are you angry with me?”

He lowered the paper and stood, gazing down at her.

“No. I’m just tired.”

“What a way to start a trip. Why don’t you put it off for a while? The weather is supposed to be changing this weekend anyway.”

“I know. But I want to get it over with. She’s been hounding me for an answer.”

Tired or not, Alex was up early the next morning. Carmen sent him off with only a hug and a kiss. He said he’d get something to eat later because with the weather front coming through, there might be a lot of turbulence. It was a good thing she decided not to go.