Reason to Breathe

“So you say,” I grumbled. She laughed. I loved having her back.

After practice, Evan and Jason followed us to Sara’s.

While we were in the car, I told Sara, “I’m so sorry you and Jason didn’t go to homecoming. I can only assume it was my fault.”

Sara scoffed, “Don’t even worry about it. I really didn’t want to go and Jason is so shy, he would’ve been mortified to have to wear the crown on stage.” I still felt bad for being the reason she missed out on such a huge moment.

“How was the ride home with Lauren yesterday?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Exhausting,” I sighed, which made Sara laugh. “I didn’t realize anyone could talk so much or so fast.”

“She’s so nice, but yeah, she likes to go on and on about anything and everything.”

Sara’s house was dark when we pulled up.

“My parents went out to dinner again,” she observed with a heavy breath.

The next few hours epitomized everything Sara wanted for me. We ate pizza, listened to music, played video games, and laughed. The laughter filled up the hollow hole, and my heart returned to its proper place in my chest, putting me back together again.

Not wanting to risk it, I decided it was best to leave around nine o’clock. Evan volunteered to drive me home. Sara hugged me good night and said she’d see me in the morning. Evan looked up from putting on his jacket when she said this.

“I liked picking you up,” Evan admitted when we stepped outside. “Although you were less talkative than usual, I actually looked forward to seeing you first thing in the morning.”

“Sorry. You’ll have to be satisfied with seeing me in just about every class instead.”

“It’s good that you and Sara are okay,” he said during the drive to my house. “How’d it happen?”

“I made her listen.” He smiled at my response.

~~~~~

The next week continued like the time without Sara was just a hiccup. Sara and I were inseparable again. Evan still walked me to class, but became absent during the second part of the day when I had lunch and study with Sara. I noticed the first couple of days and couldn’t figure out why I was bothered by it.

We did things together as the three of us, and occasionally four when Jason joined after school. Coach let us watch the second half of the guys’ quarter final game on Thursday, which they lost. Evan was crushed, but he recovered when I told him that I wasn’t expected home until nine o’clock.

Weslyn won the soccer game that Friday with a score of four to three. I contributed two of the scores, which was fortunate since three scouts were in attendance. I was assured by Coach Peña that I played well and that I’d be hearing from them. I could only hope.

Sara joined Evan and me that Sunday for our library day. I think she was trying to make up for lost time, which made me happy. But I noticed the surprise on Evan’s face when Sara pulled up behind his car. I don’t know what Evan had initially planned, but once he saw Sara was joining us, he suggested we go back to his place to play pool.

Sara and I were a team and played against Evan. Of course, he still beat us. Despite his initial reaction, Evan didn’t show any signs that he wasn’t happy to have Sara there. While we played, Sara instigated a plan for the following weekend. She figured I’d be able to sleep over at her house on Friday for the championship game, assuming we won the semi-finals on Tuesday. I wasn’t convinced since it was a five o’clock game and wouldn’t warrant me having to stay out past my curfew.

Sara wanted to think of a way for me to stay Saturday as well, so we’d have Saturday and then Sunday day together. Evan glanced at me when she mentioned Sunday, but he didn’t openly object. I let Sara go on with her pretend plans, because I knew it wasn’t going to happen. The only day that had a chance was my usual library visit on Sunday.

Everything changed that night when George told me, “We’re taking the kids skiing next weekend. Janet said you could stay with her.”

My stomach dropped. Janet lived two towns away, and there was no way I would be able to play in the game on Friday, forget about go to the library on Sunday.

“The championship game is Friday night,” I said urgently. Carol glared at me.

“Maybe you’ll have to miss it,” Carol snipped. “My mother is kind enough to let you stay with her; you should be more appreciative.”

My chest tightened as the fire of nerves twisted in my stomach. This could not be happening.

“Can I ask Sara if I can stay with her instead?” I pleaded, looking directly at George, ignoring Carol.

“That would be okay,” George agreed reluctantly. I could hear Carol take in a breath.

“I’ll ask her tomorrow,” I said, relieved.

“Why don’t you let me call her parents tonight,” Carol interjected. “I want to be sure this is really okay with them. I don’t want them to feel obligated to say yes if you ask.”

I still wasn’t concerned since I knew Anna and Carl wouldn’t care if I spent the weekend. They’ve made it more than clear every time I see them that I am welcome to stay whenever I’d like. I tried to look worried, and suppressed my smile – I had to appear miserable to stay under Carol’s radar.

After dinner, Carol called and spoke with Anna. Of course Carol made a case for what an inconvenience I’d be for two nights, but to her dismay, Anna was pleased to have me. I knew Sara was going to be beyond excited to hear that we didn’t have to come up with a lie for me to stay the weekend.

I wasn’t wrong. When Sara pulled up the next morning, she was a burst of energy. I smiled at her enthusiastic greeting. She was already trying to decide how we were going to spend the weekend. She mentioned a party on Saturday night and dismissed it as soon as she saw the blood rush from my face.

“I know,” Sara exclaimed while we walked down the hall. “Want to have a sleep over on Friday night with some of the girls from the team?”

“I don’t mind that idea,” I agreed, to her surprise.

Sara was satisfied with Friday night’s plan, even though the details still needed to be worked out. That included making it to the championship game and winning.

Sara was still going on about the weekend when Evan met me outside of homeroom.

“Emma’s staying over my house this weekend,” Sara gloated, before disappearing down the hall.

“Really?” Evan mused as we walked to English.

“My aunt and uncle are taking the kids skiing in Maine for the weekend,” I explained.

“Then what are we doing this weekend?”

“I think Friday night is going to be a girls’ night. But I’m not sure about the rest of the weekend. You’ll have to ask Sara. I think the planning’s out of my hands.”

I was so afraid the week was going to drag now that I had the weekend to look forward to, but thankfully, it sailed by.

Friday night’s plans were sealed after we won the semi-final game on Tuesday. It was a close game, and we only just won, scoring two points to their one. Lauren tipped in the winning goal with less than a minute to play, perfecting her senior year.

Lauren decided to have the team over after the game on Friday, regardless of the outcome. Sara discretely invited five of the girls to sleep over at her place after. I was truly looking forward to the estrogen overload. I knew the girls on the team and didn’t mind the idea of spending the night hanging out.

We still hadn’t figured out what we were doing on Saturday - that was until Wednesday afternoon, when the decision was made by… me. I was standing at my locker getting my books for Chemistry when I was approached by Jake Masters - the same Jake who was friends with Evan, captain of the soccer team, and who winked at me at Scott Kirkland’s party.

“Hey Emma,” he said casually, like we spoke every day. “How are you doing?” He leaned against the locker next to mine, giving me his full attention.

“Good, Jake,” I answered looking around, making sure he was really talking to me. “How are you?”

Ignoring my question, he continued.

“Listen, I’m having a party on Saturday night. It’s not going to be big, only about twenty or so people who I really want to be there. And I really want you to be there. What do you think?”

Before I could process what he was asking, he added, “Oh, you can bring Sara or whoever with you if you want.”

“Okay,” I said, without realizing I was answering him.

“Great! Then I’ll see you on Saturday,” he winked and walked away, leaving me stunned. I stood there for a moment, glancing around, waiting for someone to tell me it was a joke. And, what was up with the winking?! Seriously, it was weird!

As we walked to Trig, I told Evan, “I know what we’re doing Saturday night.”

Evan sighed and asked, “Great, what has Sara planned now?”

“Actually,” I corrected, “I told Jake Masters we’d go to his party.” I expected to hear him laugh at the irony of me deciding to go to a party, but he was silent. I examined his pensive expression.

“What?”

“Jake asked you to go to his party?”

“Yeah, I was completely surprised and still haven’t figured out why - but he did. So I kinda agreed.”

Evan let out a short laugh. “You don’t know why Jake asked you to the party? Does he know that you want to bring me with you?”

“He said I could bring whomever I wanted.” I wasn’t following along and didn’t understand why Evan found this so intriguing.

“Okay, we’re going to Jake Masters’ party,” he finally conceded. “Have you heard about his parties?”

“No. Why?” By the tone of his question, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“They tend to be pretty… exclusive,” he explained. “I’ve been to one of them.”

“Was it horrible?” I asked, when he didn’t say more. I wanted to know what I was about to walk into.

“No,” he said dismissively. Then he must have realized he was freaking me out and added, “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

Sara had a much more excited reaction than Evan when I told her. She had also heard about the handpicked guest list of Jake’s parties and was thrilled to finally get to see what they were all about. I was surprised to learn she’d never been to one before. I told her to bring Jason, which I think she had already planned to.

When Friday arrived, I was a bundle of nerves. All I could think about was the game that night. The Weslyn girls’ soccer team had always been pretty competitive in the division, but this was the first time in almost ten years that the team had made it to the finals.

My quiet anxiety was mirrored by Sara’s exuberant anticipation. She was unable to contain her energy and kept fidgeting during the car ride to school. Trying to keep our minds off the game, Sara started to run through our plans for the weekend. I let her talk the entire drive, unable to focus on what she said enough to contribute.