Real Vampires Don't Diet

I jumped when my cell phone rang. Jerry.

"Gloriana. Finally I get you instead of that damned voice mail. How are you?"

"Fine, Jerry. Any luck over there? With the daughter hunt?"

"Yes. I've tracked her and her boyfriend to the mountains of Transylvania." Jerry growled. "He calls himself Dracula. If it wouldn't drive a wedge between my daughter and me before our relationship had even started, I'd have already killed the bloody bastard."

"He sounds like an idiot. But keep in mind that Lily's been a vampire for better than five hundred years. I doubt she's looking for a protective father at this point." I felt Flo breathing down my neck. Of course she wanted to listen in. Why not? This was good stuff. "So how did Lily take the news? That she has a new daddy?"

"You're right. And Lily's not inclined to believe her mother any more than I am. We both know Mara's not above lying to get what she wants."

Jerry left unsaid that what Lily's mum wanted this time was Jerry, my Jerry, as hubby number two. Her number one had been Jerry's best friend Mac. When he'd been killed by Westwood, Jerry had tried to help Mac's widow any way he could. Recently she'd dropped the bombshell that the child she'd always been perfectly happy to claim as Mac's was actually Jerry's offspring. Great timing. Can you blame me for hating the manipulative bitch? Jerry knows how I feel so I didn't waste international cell phone minutes dredging up all that.

"Is Mara over there with you?"

"No. I left her in Paris."

"I'm surprised she didn't want to press Lily personally to take the DNA test, since she's so sure her daughter is yours."

"She's left that up to me. Lily does have the look of the Campbells, like my mother claims." His mother actually likes Mara. And was eager for a Jerry-sired grandchild. Mother Campbell also ranked me right below whores and polyester. Anything or anyone who could lure Jerry away from my side had Mag Campbell's vote.

"Gee, Jerry, seems like Lily would want that test. To know one way or the other." Flo snatched the phone out of my hand. "You can always trick her, Jeremiah. Steal a sample of Lily's spit on a glass or pull some of her hair out. Got to be by the roots though. That's important for some reason. That's what they did on The Bold and the Restless. Mio Dio, what a catfight. Then" Flo fended off my grab for the phone. "Anyway, if it turns out she's your daughter, then you can decide whether you want to claim her or not. With her taste in boyfriends, sounds like not."

"Thanks for the advice, Florence. Now can I speak to Gloriana again? Say hello to Richard for me. Tell him he should come over here and assess this situation. There's a lot of work to be done with these out of control vampires."

"Oh, no, Jeremiah. Richard is no longer an enforcer of anything. Much too dangerous. He is mine now. And I forbid you to mention this 'situation' to him. You must come home soon. Ricardo and I are to have un grande wedding. He will want you to be his best man I think. But I shouldn't have said anything. Ricardo can ask you himself." Flo waved me off again with a smile I didn't trust.

"Now I want you to ask Glory about her New Year's Eve. You really shouldn't have flown away like that. A girl's got to keep busy, you know." Flo dropped the phone in my hand, took one look at my face, then hurried out of the storeroom as fast as her stilettos could carry her.

"What does she mean? What did you do New Year's Eve, Gloriana? I assumed"

"Just a minute, Jerry. You're breaking up." I looked toward the storeroom door Flo had closed so carefully, already planning a sneak attack on my former roomie's favorite Ferragamos. Flo thought jealousy kept a man on his toes. Granted, she should know. She had a good three hundred years more experience under her tiny belt than I did. Might as well go with it.

"Can you hear me now, Gloriana? I stepped outside. What's this about New Year's Eve?"

"Yes, that's better. No big deal. Ray had a problem. Didn't believe the warnings I'd given him about alcohol and got into booze anyway. He was really sick. I had to help him recover. Let him feed from me. New vampires." I made a noise, like what do you expect?

"He fed from you." Jerry said this like Ray and I'd shagged ourselves silly. British term. One we'd picked up watching the BBC.

"It was the only thing I could think of to help him. He'd lost his singing voice. It was really pathetic, Jerry. I felt sorry for him." Now I was the one sounding pathetic, making excuses. "Anyway, he's okay now. Valdez went with me, I'm home again and everything's back to normal." Yeah, right, if normal included a Siren in vampire-hunting mode and me suddenly craving mortal blood so much I'd actually thought about dragging one of my customers into the back room for a little late-night pick-me-up. Oh, yeah, and then there'd been that wrestling match with Westwood's water buffaloes. I glanced at my trophy water cannons, propped up where I could see them. For a moment I was tempted to brag about my takedown, but knew Jerry wouldn't see it as a good thing, he'd just issue more orders and double my guard. Hey, he'd done it before.

"Watch out for Caine, Gloriana. I know you're mentoring him, but he wants you for more than that. I wouldn't be surprised if he staged the drinking thing just to get you to come be with him." Jerry sounded serious. Jealous? Hmm. Maybe Flo was on to something. "I'll be home as soon as possible. Are you sure you're all right? You're keeping Valdez with you at all times?"

"Didn't I just say so? And you be careful. I can't imagine a guy who calls himself Dracula is discreet."

"He's a young fool."

Hmm. "Young" to Jerry is any vampire less than two hundred years old. Jerry's ancient, but looks all of thirty-two. And have I mentioned how hot he is? I wished he was here right now. With his clever hands all over me. Then I wouldn't be so vulnerable when Ray made moves on me.

"Dracula's not your problem, Jerry. Do what Flo says, grab a hank of Lily's hair and get your butt back here."

"Why, Glory, you must really miss me."

"I do. Come home and I'll show you just how much." I heard Jerry growl, a hungry sound that always makes me hot.

"I like the way you think, lass. But not yet. I can't leave Lily in this situation. Even if she's Mac's daughter and not mine, it's too dangerous. She's involved with this group led by her boyfriend. They're careless, preying on mortals, sometimes getting greedy with disastrous results. Now they've got the countryside here stirred up. The paparazzi are after them. You know how that can go. If the reporters for the tabloids can't find anything concrete, they make it up."

"Bad news." And why I was happy I'd found Austin, where vamps kept a low profile and no one did anything stupid like leave a victim lying around with a throat torn open. Or at least not often. I shuddered.

"There are even stands in some of the markets selling stakes, crosses and vials of something called a vampire repellant. Whatever's in it reeks. It sure repelled me." Jerry laughed, but he didn't sound amused. "Superstitious nonsense."

"Sounds pretty serious. Be careful, Jerry. Drag Lily back here if you have to. And leave the weirdo boyfriend there." There was a knock on the back door that led to the alley. "I've got to go. Call me again soon. You're obviously better at figuring out the time difference than I am. Okay?"

"Sure. And, Gloriana, it's good that you're mentoring Caine," Jerry said grudgingly. "That's what these young vampires needed. A firm hand in the beginning. Just don't let him take advantage of you."

"I want him to get the right start. I'm glad you understand, Jerry." But would Jerry understand how Ray and I kept seeing each other naked or nearly so? A fist pounded on the back door again. "And, Jerry, I remember how you helped me get used to the vampire life. This is kind of payback."

Jerry groaned. "Gloriana, we spent your early days as vampire in bed. The only thing I taught you was the most erotic place to drink from. You wouldn't let Caine"

"No! That's your spot, no one else's." I swallowed, just thinking about it, and I knew Jerry was thinking about it too. I cleared my throat. "Someone's at the door, Jerry. I really have to go."

"All right. And I do understand your involvement with Caine but I don't have to like it. Take care, Gloriana. I'll be home as soon as I can. Good-bye." Jerry hung up.

Hmm. No "I love you." Well, not surprising. Such declarations weren't the norm with us. And the jealousy thing felt pretty good. Maybe Flo's shoes were safe from a blast with my water cannon. I laid the phone on the table and went to the back door.

"Who's there?"

"Greg Kaplan. Simon sent me. We heard you want to meet with him."

"Finally." Actually I dreaded a face-to-face with the King of the Energy Vampires. The last time we'd met I'd given him attitude. Truth be told, he scared the shit out of me. But it wasn't Simon Destiny standing in my alley, it was one of his minions, one I knew too well. Hated him, but wasn't scared of him. I blocked my thoughts and threw open the door. Surely I could handle an old boyfriend who'd joined the dark side. Valdez was only a scream away.

"Hi, Greg. I don't want to meet with Simon, but my boyfriend does."

"Blade? I find that hard to believe. He hates Simon as much as you do. I don't believe for a minute you're suddenly part of the EV fan club." Greg followed me into the storeroom. He and I had a history, most of it bad. Now he worked for the Energy Vampires as a gofer. I'm not sure why Simon kept giving him second chances. Greg was all about Greg and I knew he could be bought. Not that he was in my budget, but now I had Ray in my corner. A man with deep pockets. I turned to Greg with a smile.

"Blade and I are taking a break. He's in Europe. I'm with Israel Caine, the rock star. Simon knows that. He invited me to bring Ray out there sometime to the EV headquarters. Ray's hot to try the Vampire Viagra." ns class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block" data-ad-client="ca-pub-7451196230453695" data-ad-slot="9930101810" data-ad-format="auto" data-full-width-responsive="true">