Perfectly Imperfect

Her clothes are baggy and more for comfort than anything else. Black leggings, boots, and a simple tee shirt. But it’s the shirt, wrinkled and loose everywhere except where it stretches tight against her swollen belly, which holds my attention.

“I wish we could have finally met under more pleasant circumstances, but it’s still lovely to finally meet the woman who makes Kane so happy.”

I mutely gape at her, not trusting my own body and its turmoil. I’m more worried that I’m about to throw up over all of us in some grossly accurate depiction of The Exorcist.

“Do you want to sit?” Kane asks, his raspy voice rumbling from his chest, and I finally look away from Mia and into his vulnerable eyes.

“No.” I gulp.

“Where do I start?” Mia asks, and I know she isn’t talking to me. How the heck would I know where to start; I’m having a hard enough time just trying to remember how to breathe.

“Just start from the beginning, Mees. You know you can trust her with all of it.”

I don’t take my eyes from his, the wretchedness making my already violent nerves spiral widely. He doesn’t just look torn. He looks like just the thought of hearing what she has to say is going to tear him up a lot more than it will me. How is that even possible?

“Okay,” she says softly, and I see her move to sit on the couch.

Movement on the other end of the couch tells me that Kole hasn’t left either. I don’t look away from Kane because I know that whatever is said now, what is between us and trying to salvage it is more important than who is witnessing it. Plus, it’s probably not as if Kole is unaware. Right?

“Kane and I had just wrapped on a film that we had been working on together. I’m sure you know the movie, even though it isn’t important, but it was a big deal because we hadn’t worked together for almost five years. Like the First Time was a fun movie for us, but it was more like a reunion because it was the first time that Kole had also been cast with us. This time, Kole beat Kane for the lead, which was pretty hilarious.”

Kole lets out a low burst of hilarity at the memory, but Kane just keeps searching my eyes. His troubled gaze darkening with each word that Mia speaks.

“The wrap party was pretty wild. Not indecent or anything, but the liquor was flowing and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a single sober person in the house. The whole Masters family was there, even though Christian and Becca left before things got crazy. I don’t remember where Kole went, but by the time I realized I had too much to drink, I was past the point of rational thought.”

Oh, God. I’m really going to be sick. My eyes widen, and Kane’s fill with helpless sympathy as trepidation overcomes me.

“It’s funny what you remember when faced with something traumatic. To me, each moment is burned into my brain, but even with the violent end to my night, I don’t regret it.”

Her words register, and I pull back in confusion. I finally look from Kane and meet her sad eyes, her hand rubbing absentmindedly against her abdomen.

“He acted like he didn’t even remember,” she continues, almost to herself. I see Kole’s body tighten, and he looks over at her in shock. “I didn’t know what to do, but I knew that Kane would protect me and help me through it. Regardless of how much it killed him.”

“What?” I gasp. Does she mean? No. There is no way the Kane I know is capable of something like that.

She wipes her eyes and looks from the spot she had been blindly staring into and locks eyes with me. A sad, vulnerable smile lifts her lips, almost like an apology before she speaks the words.

“A month after that night, I sat on the floor and cried as Kane held me. The trust of that night held in his hand as he looked at the positive pregnancy test. It was then that I begged him and selfishly took his promise of silence, using it to help me find a way to come to terms with my new future.”

“What the fuck,” Kole harshly whispers.

I look from Mia and back to Kane. The pain is still present, but a fire of rage starts to build behind it.

“He kept my secret not only because I was asking him to help and shield me, but also because I knew that if anyone felt the same protectiveness I do toward my son, it would be Kane. He would have done that even if my child didn’t share his blood.”

“Oh my God,” I sob, the sound coming out like a low whine.

“You son of a bitch,” Kole seethes.

“Fuck,” Kane bellows and turns his face from mine to narrow his eyes at Mia.

There’s a moment of silence and each thud of my heart feels like it’s slowly breaking.

“Oh, oh! No. Shit. I didn’t mean it like that,” she rushes, and my tear-filled eyes move from Kane’s chest and I look over at her. “The baby isn’t Kane’s.”

“What?” I meekly question, the pain in my chest and stomach almost making me want to pass out.

“The fuck, Mia!” Kole yells over me.

“It’s Kyle’s. The baby is Kyle’s.” She looks from Kole with a wince before glancing toward me, her eyes brimming with tears. “I’m so sorry, Willow. I never should have asked him to keep it from you, but I selfishly let the knowledge that he was the only one who knew my son was conceived by a man who drunkenly took advantage of my inebriated state make me feel better. A married man who blamed me for the life he helped to create and wanted me to ‘take care of it.’ There are so many lives that will never be the same now, but it was safer for us to let the world assume it was Kane’s than rip open everyone’s lives and have my son, their nephew, be born with a black mark against him. I can never tell you how sorry I am for ever letting it get this far when I should have been strong enough to fight this without involving Kane.”

My fists loosen against his shirt, and for the first time since he walked in the room, I start to pull from his embrace. I know he’s taking my retreat the wrong way because he curses under his breath and his arms let go of my body to cup my face, bringing my attention back to his.

“God, Willow. I’m so sorry. Please, baby, don’t pull away.” He presses his lips to mine and I return the kiss, but I pull back and step back. “I should have told you, and you will never know how much I regret not making sure that this talk happened weeks ago, but I wasn’t keeping it from you to hurt you.”

“No,” I start, and he snaps his mouth shut. Panic blazes brightly as his eyes plead with me not to pull away. “Stop, Kane.” I move from his reach completely and walk over to Mia. A woman who I had always thought was living the perfect life. One I envied from afar and prayed to have just a sliver of her fearless confidence now sits before me looking like the weak, fearful, depressed woman that I had been when I was making those prayers. I know what she feels. Maybe not in the same capacity, but I know what it’s like to live a life full of anxiety just thinking about the future. Not being able to see a single ounce of safety to help ease those feelings.