Perfectly Imperfect

I shouldn’t care. I should be able to just leave him out in the elements and hope some wild animal tears him limb by limb. But despite his actions tonight, he’s still my brother.

And part of the reason that I’m now standing here with a black fucking hole where my heart once was beating.

I stomp through the house, leaving Kyle passed out on the floor just inside the front door. I might not have left him outside, but I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to go out of my way to make sure he’s comfortable.

I should call his fucking wife and make her come get him, but I know from Kole that Jessica is in Europe for some photo shoot.

“Fuck!” My hand flies out with my outburst, and I slam it into the wall just inside my living room. The sheetrock gives way and my fist leaves a hole in my dark gray wall.

She said she wasn’t running, but she left. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Not that I should expect any differently. She gave me the chance to explain and because of my pride, I didn’t. All because of a promise I made to Mia three months before I even started this with Willow. A promise made with good intentions because of how much was at stake not just for Mia, but for my family as well.

I kept my mouth shut and let the best thing I’ve ever held in my hands walk away.

Fuck.

My footsteps thunder through the house as I retrace my steps since arriving home, and search for my cell. I had dropped it shortly after walking through the door, forgetting about the device instantly. Until right now. I note the time, just past eleven, before I press what I need and bring the phone to my ear.

“I hope you know what time it is,” the tired voice says in greeting.

“I do. I also know that I just watched my fucking girlfriend leave with Kole while I stood there like a mute bastard and let my promise of silence, to you, rip our hearts to fucking shreds, Mia.”

“Shit,” she mumbles. I hear the sheets rustle. “I’ll be right there.”

Even though I’m so pissed at her right now, I can’t allow her to put herself in danger. “No. I don’t know what the media situation is like at my front gate and you don’t need the stress of dealing with Kyle, who I should add I knocked unconscious when he was feeling the need to let it all hang out earlier. I just … fuck, Mia. I have to tell her. I know I gave you my word because not only was it no one’s fucking business, but that’s my blood growing inside of you and I had no problem keeping silent to protect the both of you. But now, I can’t lose her forever because of this.”

Mia sighs, and I know she’s feeling bad about asking me for silence months ago. Making me promise while she sobbed in my arms, the positive pregnancy test clutched in my shocked hands. The same way I know it kills her that the media has been rabid for us to confirm the pregnancy to them, to solidify the rumors that they had spread about the life she is growing and my part in it.

“You know she deserves to know. I love you, Mees, but if I keep silent, not only will I lose her, but I’m going to lose myself as well. She’s it for me, and I should have had this conversation with you weeks ago when I realized that Willow would never be going anywhere. I tried, but you’ve been avoiding the subject just as hard as I’ve been trying to talk about it. Any time I tried to bring it up, you pushed and refused. I should have tried harder, I know that, and I now have to live with the consequences. Look, I know it’s because you’re scared of what will happen when I tell her, but you know me and I wouldn’t be asking you to put your faith in her if I didn’t believe with everything that I am that she’s strong enough to weather the storm.”

Her heavy breathing comes through the line, and I wait for her to accept what I’m asking. “I know you trust her. The little I’ve gotten to know her tells me she can be trusted too, but Kane …”

“Listen to me, Mia. I know I’m asking a lot, but this secret is killing me. Can’t you understand that?” I hear her muffled sobs, and I hate myself. “I’m asking you to allow me to break my word, Mia. Begging you. I’m not asking you to let me hold a fucking press conference and tell the world. I’m just asking you to let me have back the promise to stay silent long enough to tell the woman who I fucking hope to spend the rest of my goddamn life with the truth!”

I pace around the room, my chest tightening painfully with each second of Mia’s silence. For the first time, I actually consider saying fuck it all and going back on my word regardless of what she says, but I know I never would. Even if that means I have to let the woman I love go. I felt the same fear for the last four weeks that I had been trying to get a hold of Mia when Willow wasn’t around in order to have this conversation. I knew that the innocent life inside her needed to be protected from the pain that will undoubtedly come when the baby grows up and wonders why its mother allowed herself to fall pregnant by a man who would never love her like she deserved to be loved.

“Okay, Kane.”

My shoulders slump as the relief of being let out of my vow hits.

“Do you need me to be there?”

“Mia,” I start.

“No,” she interrupts. “It wasn’t and isn’t fair for me to continue to demand so much from you when you’ve made it clear from the beginning how you felt about her. I should have given you the go-ahead to tell her weeks ago. Especially since I’ve talked to her myself, and I know she isn’t going to do anything to hurt you … including letting this go past her. But I think it might be time to let it out, Kane. She might believe you, but the press is going to eat her alive without us confirming something.”

Shit. She’s right. Because of everything that had happened since we touched down in Santa Monica earlier, I hadn’t even thought about the new rumors being added to the ones that had been simmering for a while.

Instead of them just speculating about Mia’s and my relationship, whether the baby is or isn’t mine, it’s turned into a love triangle where Willow is the star villain.

“It’s time, Kane. It’s going to be okay. God, I’m so sorry,” she sobs.

“Don’t apologize. It’s an impossible situation because we’re in the spotlight, so no matter what, someone is going to lose. But it’s not going to be you. It won’t be Willow or me. And it won’t be the baby. Let me call Kole and find out where she is. I’ll talk to her and then we can figure out what to do.”