Perfectly Imperfect

I’m beyond thrilled I was able to talk Cam into heading out without me earlier. I know he hates it. If anyone takes his job more seriously than I do, it’s Cam. I’m still not sure what it was that finally convinced him to leave the set without me, but thank fuck he did. I wasn’t ready to share Willow with anyone else right now. Just the thought of leaving her at the house tonight has my skin feeling as if it’s a size too small.

I flex my hand before circling my thumb against her silky skin.

I can’t even explain it to myself, and truth be told, I don’t need to know why I feel so strongly about someone I really just met. I just know without a shadow of doubt that this—right here at this moment—is where I’m meant to be.

This feeling of bone-deep contentment, the connection to someone that feels physical even without a tangible touch, that is what I’ve been missing. What I’ve been looking for. Every second I’m around her, that feeling only grows, and if it continues to flourish like this, then I know everything I’ve been hoping I could have for my future could finally be mine.

She … fuck … she will be mine. I can’t even entertain the thought I won’t feel like this every day.

“You’re looking awfully serious over there.”

I take my eyes off the road and look over at her when her voice fills the comfortable silence around us. My hand flexes against our connection, reassuring me that she’s here … with me.

“Yeah.”

“What’s going through your head?” This time she gives me a squeeze.

“I don’t want to let you go.”

She shifts, and for a second, I think she’s about to pull her hand from mine, but she just turns her body so she can focus on me. “I know the feeling.”

I nod, but choose not to speak.

We’re close to the house that she and Kirby are staying in this week while we film. My house. The house I decided not to stay in because I liked the idea she was in my space, even if I wasn’t there with her.

Jesus fucking Christ.

“Kane?”

“Hmm?”

“You want me to trust you so I need you to give me the same in return. What’s going through your mind?”

Checking the rearview mirror and seeing that we’re all alone on this back road, I pull the SUV off the road and push the gearshift into park. The only sound around us is my harsh breathing.

“Kane?” she questions, and I turn toward her, not letting go of her hand.

“Do you have any idea how badly I want to feel your body next to mine? I’m going insane over here, and all I’m doing is bringing you to the house, knowing damn well I’m going to see you in the morning. But instead of enjoying the ride, I’m over here feeling as if I’m coming out of my skin. You give me a calm I haven’t felt in years, Willow. At the same time I feel that peace, my whole body is coming apart because of how strong my want for you is. I’m a starved man, and you’re the meal I’ve been fantasizing about.”

“Why?” She clears her throat. “Why do you feel like you’re coming out of your skin?”

Her innocence is beyond attractive.

“Fuck if I know. I can’t even explain it to myself. It’s been two days, Willow. Two days since I’ve finally gotten you where I’ve craved to have you for months. Hell, years if you count a fleeting glance across a crowded ballroom. I know all too well that we’ve just started something here, but I’m greedy. I want more. More of you. I want it all.” I throw my head back against the headrest and let out a burst of air, more frustrated than I care to admit.

She lets go of my hand, and for a second, my heart picks up speed so fiercely, I can feel the blood pounding through my veins.

Until her soft fingers reach up and cup my cheek.

“You have no idea what hearing you say all of that does to me, do you?”

“Fuck,” I bit out harshly and reach up to pull her hand from my face, pressing it against my rapidly beating heart. “You make me feel alive, Willow Tate. I feel alive after years of nothing but loneliness. Knowing I’m just miles from dropping you off has that loneliness closing back in on me.”

“You aren’t the only one who feels alive after years of feeling like you were walking around dead.” She takes a deep breath, one I feel as if it were my own. “I would be lying if I didn’t admit I’m apprehensive about the things you can’t tell me, but in order to trust you, well, I have to start somewhere.”

God, she’s stronger than she even realizes.

“I’m a selfish man, Willow. I want you with an intensity that’s quickly becoming a living, breathing need.”

I study her face before she shocks the shit out of me and leans over to press her lips to mine. Soft and brief, but if you asked me if I could stop a train with my pinky finger right now, I would probably run to the nearest tracks and prove I could.

She settles back in her seat and with a small smile, nods her head toward the road. “Take me home before Mama Kirby grounds me for breaking curfew.”

Five minutes later, I’m punching in the code to the front gate and pulling the SUV down the driveway. I should be embarrassed that I lost my shit back there, but I feel better than I did before leaving the set that she isn’t upset I couldn’t tell her more about Mia.

I have no doubt that the feeling of dread I felt when she asked about her and the situation I find myself in is what sparked the growing ache the closer we got to the house. For the first time since I started out on this quest to conquer Willow, I was unsure if I would be able to win her over. Not being able to tell her the truth about Mia when I have been begging her to trust me … well, if that isn’t being a hypocrite, I don’t know what is.

It’s time I called Mia and figured out how we can fix this, and quick, because I’ll be fucking damned if that’s what tears Willow from my grasp.

I park in the middle of the circular drive so I’m next to the front door. I put the SUV in park and make myself move to climb from my seat. I keep my eyes on Willow as I walk around the hood, not wanting to look away from her before I have to. Not wanting to lose the feeling having her near does to me.

When I open her door, she grabs her bag and slides from the seat until she’s standing before me. I don’t back up, so when she straightens, our bodies are just a hair away from touching.