Perfecting Patience

She turned to me with a tight smile that I understood. Things were definitely not okay.

“Yep. Everything’s good to go.”

She squeezed my fingers reassuringly and I decided to let it drop for now. We were just reunited. Things like that could wait. I could wait.

*

We ended up spending some time at a local bar with the boys while Patience laughed at them as girls kept approaching. I only had eyes for my snowflake, but the boys seemed to be having a good time flirting and trying to figure out which one to take home.

“So what about you? No girls in here do it for you?” Patience turned and threw her arms around my neck.

She was standing in front of my barstool, looking like a sweet angel surrounded by demons. She was possibly the only sober person in the bar. I’d offered to be the DD, but she wasn’t having it.

“Just you. As a matter of fact, you’re doing it for me right now.” I pulled her to me and filled my hands with her sweet little ass.

This whole situation was different for me, but I liked it. I was a one-woman man for the first time in my life, and she was openly displaying her affection for me. The entire place knew we were a couple, and I had to admit it was fucking wonderful. I couldn’t even remember the time when Patience was untouchable. I couldn’t remember all the struggles we went through. All I knew was that she was there in my arms.

The night flew by in a haze of shots and secret touches. I drank a lot—too much, in fact—and I was almost positive I spent the entire night making out with Patience in the corner. I didn’t remember the ride back to the hotel, but I remembered kicking Chet out. The rest of the night was a blur. When I woke up, Patience was naked, draped across me with a soft smile on her sleeping face.

I crept from under her arm, careful not to wake her, and went to get a shower. The hot water washed away the memories of the previous months of hell I’d been through, and when I stepped out of the shower into the steamy bathroom, I wiped the foggy mirror and looked at the happiness that I couldn’t wipe from my face. Things were more than perfect.

I wrapped the towel around my waist and popped open the bathroom door. Snowflake was standing there wearing one of my T-shirts. I loved it when she wore my clothes. My eyes worked their way from her tiny feet, up her long legs, to the bottom of my shirt. Knowing she didn’t have on any panties made my old guitar T-shirt look even better on her. It was a massive turn-on and I almost dragged her back to the bed.

I strutted across the room with a smile on my face. My smirk disappeared quickly when she didn’t smile back. In our world, things were never great for long and a part of me expected things to go downhill. That was my life for so many years it was hard to not wait for the fall.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Finn stopped by. He said you guys were leaving in an hour.” She looked down at her feet as she dug her toes nervously into the plush carpeting.

Just like that, the good feelings were gone. How could I have forgotten we were leaving? I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t think about the world outside the hotel room. I didn’t think about the tour or the band because none of it mattered when we were together.

The fact of the matter was I wasn’t leaving without her. We had an hour until it was time to go, which meant I had an hour to make sure she was on board with going away with me.

“Come with me,” I said as I reached out and pulled her into my arms.

She fit perfectly and felt amazing. I rested my chin on the top of her head.

“Say you’ll come with me. I won’t leave here without you.” I pulled back to take a look into her eyes and that’s when I saw it. The panic. The fear. And some other indefinable emotion that told me I was in for more hell.

She shook her head with sad eyes. “I can’t.”

Her soft words were like a stab to my chest. The air I was breathing so easily became thick and hard to inhale.

“I’m not going with you.” Her bottom lip trembled.

“What do you mean you’re not coming? But I thought…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. The words got stuck somewhere in my throat and were beginning to block any oxygen from my lungs.

Didn’t she know we were no good without each other? At least, I wasn’t worth shit without her. Just the thought of being without her made my chest tight with anxiety. For a guy like me, who’s never been afraid of anything, it was like a blow to the gut. I was seriously contemplating dropping to my knees and begging her to come with me.

Her eyes filled with moisture and I watched as a single tear wobbled on the edge of her lashes. Her chest heaved with heavy emotional breaths and I knew in that moment she was hurting as bad as I was. I never wanted her to hurt. I’d seen her hurt enough in the time that I’d known her and I’d rather die than see her go through anything painful again.