Melancholy

I’ve been with Maddox and the Jokers’ for just under two years now. It’s been a hard journey. First, I had to grieve my sister’s death, and that took a long time. There are still days I miss her so much it burns. Coming down from the drugs was another big challenge, but as time has gone on, things have gotten easier.

I got a job two months ago, deciding it was time to get my life together. I’ve been sitting around the clubhouse for too long now, watching and living in their dark world. I need to start creating a life of my own, and getting a job was the best way to do that. Then I met Thomas and now, for the first time since Pippi’s death, I feel like things are looking up.

“How does it fit?”

I turn and smile at Penny. She’s not an old lady, but she’s close with Krypt, another one of the club members, and she and I get along quite well.

“I don’t know,” I say. “Do you think it looks okay?”

She smiles, her blue eyes sparkling with happiness. “It looks gorgeous. He’ll never know what hit him.”

“Santana!”

The sound of Maddox’s booming voice fills my room, and I roll my eyes. Did I mention Maddox is controlling? Well, he is. He’s always been protective, since the moment he picked me up off those streets, but he’s also a biker . . . which combined makes things very . . . painful.

“Up here,” I call.

“Why the fuck is there a fuckin’ boy at my door?”

Shit.

I quickly put the clip into my hair, and rush out of the room and down the stairs. Maddox is standing at the bottom of those stairs, his big arms crossed over his chest. Maddox is an impressive man. There are many times I’ve had to stop myself from staring at his beauty and rugged good looks. He’s tall, broad, and has a face that belongs on the cover of . . . Biker Weekly . . . only the good one.

He’s stunning.

Blue eyes travel down over my dress, and then flick back up to mine. His jaw tightens and he turns to stare at Thomas, who is standing at the open door with his mouth slightly agape. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell him I live with a biker. A big, pissed off biker. Maddox’s leather jacket squeaks as he turns back to me and walks over, stepping up so we’re face to face.

“No.”

I cross my arms. “Don’t, Maddox. I live here, but you’re not my father.”

“Not fuckin’ old enough to be your fuckin’ father, so stop insulting me. What I am, though, is someone who cares about you. You’ve lived through a lot of shit, and that fucker looks dodgy.”

I snort, tilting my head to the side. “Unless he was wearing leather, riding a bike and swearing, you’d think he looked dodgy.”

He grins, and I shake my head with a sigh.

“I met him at work. We’re going out for lunch.”

“No, you ain’t.”

“Oh yes, I am.”

I try to step past him, but his hand lashes out, taking hold of the railing and stopping me.

“Maddox,” I protest. “Why the hell won’t you let me have a life?”

“You got a job?”

“Yes!”

“Friends?”

“Yes!”

“Then you’ve got a life. That—” He jerks his finger towards Thomas. “—is a cock wanting in you . . . not a life.”

“Oh my God,” I cry, throwing my hands up. “Why do you have to be so vulgar?”

Maddox turns to Thomas. “How old are you, boy?”

“Nineteen, ah, sir.”

He turns back to me. “Nineteen year old boys think about nothin’ more than their cocks and their stomachs.”

“Maybe they do, but I don’t think about those things. Do you think I can’t take care of myself?”

He tilts his head to the side, studying me. “I know you can.”

“Then start showing it. We’re going to lunch, Maddox. We’re not going to some back road to fuck.”

He flinches, and his eyes harden. “Don’t fuckin’ say shit like that.”

I sigh and push at his chest. “Move, I’m going out. I’ll be home in a few hours.”

“Fine, but Krypt is goin’ to send a boy to trail you.”

“He is not!” I cry, stepping past him when he moves.

“Keep it in your pants, boy,” Maddox barks at Thomas as I reach the door. “I have many awful things I can do with it if you don’t.”

“Yes, sir,” Thomas splutters.

Oh God.

Who said bikers were cool?

~*~*~*~*

2014 Santana

The club is pounding at full force when I step through the front doors. Waves and shouts are thrown in my direction as I pass the drunken bikers, club whores and old ladies all milling about. I head right for Maddox’s office, needing to see him. After last night, I just want to make sure everything is okay with us.

I knock on the door before entering, but no one answers. Hesitantly, I open the door. He’s not in here, which either means he’s not at the club, or he’s somewhere else...possibly down at the sheds. “Ain’t there, princess.”

I turn and see Tyke wheeling down the hall. I smile at him. “No problems, has he been gone for long?”

“Nah, just an hour.”

“Right, I’ll wait for him in here, then.”

He flashes me a smile before disappearing down the hall and back into the chaos. I step into Maddox’s office and close the door behind me, then I sit down at his desk, putting my feet up on it and leaning back in his chair. I do this for a few minutes, then I resort to swinging in circles before sighing and stopping.