Loving Lawson

“Yep.”

“How much do you think that is?”

“Fuck, no idea, man. Maybe you should ask him yourself.”

I wasn’t sure I ever felt this angry before. I rubbed my face in exasperation. Despite my anger, I wasn’t surprised. I knew that when you dealt with gangs in this town, you didn’t just walk away unscathed. Even after being arrested, that shit was going to haunt you until they got even. What I didn’t expect was to be the one they wanted to get even with.

Ryker’s suspicious behaviour at the prison was beginning to make sense now.

I looked back at the door and took a few deep breaths. I needed to put this shit aside for now. I didn’t want to think about the man, or pay attention to the uneasy feeling in my chest that what Ryker did was going to seriously change things. I needed to focus on now. I escaped back into the bar. I’d left Allie in here on her own for too long. I was glad to see she was still that way seated in the same chair. Maybe the guys had caught the message loud and clear. I took a seat next to her and her troubled gaze met mine.

“You’ve been gone for a while. What’s going on?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

“Then why did you hit Matt?”

“When Matt gets drunk, his mouth runs.”

She frowned at my response. “Did he say something about me? Look, Heath, I don’t want to break a friendship apart just because he might have said something –”

“That’s not the first time I’ve hit him,” I interrupted, doing my best to shoot her a genuine smile. “It’s not the last, either. That’s what we do. One of us gets out of line and we sort each other out. How many times did Ryker come home with a busted lip?”

She chuckled wryly and took a gulp out of her water. “Wow, men are a different breed, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

She smiled that glorious smile and finished her food, and I glared at anyone that got within a foot of her.

*

“Did you have fun?” I asked her on our way back to the truck.

She nodded, leaning her body against me. “Yeah, tired though.”

I brought my arm around her and kept her upright, but also as close to me as possible. She smelled nice, she felt nice, she was everything nice.

On our way back home, she glanced out the passenger window, her face serene and content, seemingly lost in thought as the world went by. I had my hand on the stick shift when something cool touched it. I looked down at her small hand covering mine.

“Thank you for taking me out,” she whispered.

I swallowed hard. “Anytime.”

Aside from the mishap with Matt and having to roughly push a shitload of men away from her every time they pressed against her, it was a good night. She talked, she sang, she laughed. It wasn’t the introverted Allie I was used to seeing. There was a whole other layer there waiting to be unravelled, and fuck, I wanted to unravel this girl in more ways than one.

I decided not to tell her about the shady guy. I would eventually, but not right now. Not when she was knocking down her walls around me. Ryker was a fucking dark cloud. He’d piss on our sunshine if I got her worrying about him or what he’d done. She needed to focus on her baby.

I kept telling myself this.

Kept trying to believe it too.

Halfway there, she fell asleep, her small body curled up on the seat. I parked the car and stared at her for a bit. It was mostly dark save for a nearby streetlight.

“Allie,” I whispered, “we’re here.”

She didn’t budge. All that moving around had caught up to her. I tried nudging her awake, but to no result. With a sigh, I got out and had to carry her to the elevator. While we rode it up, her arm snaked up and around my neck and she let out a contented breath. She felt like a warm ball I didn’t want to let go of, so I tightened my embrace on my way to the apartment.

I carried her to her room and gently laid her down on the soft bed. I slipped her sandals off and threw the covers over her. Then I pulled her hair tie out and placed it on the dresser. I stood straight and glanced at the doorway, knowing I should probably get out and leave her to sleep. But my eyes went back to her. Before I knew it, I was sitting down on the bed and stroking her hair. And when that wasn’t enough to ease the ache inside of me, I leaned my face to hers and ran my nose along her jaw, taking in her scent and the soft feel of her skin.

Fuck, what was I doing? And why the hell was I having these weird as hell urges to touch her?

As I pulled back, my breath felt like it’d been knocked right out of me when I found her eyes were opened and she was looking straight at me. Merely inches away, I stared back, knowing full well I’d been caught touching her inappropriately. I expected her to say something, but she just watched me with those tired eyes. They roamed around my face, settling on my mouth.

She looked like she wanted to kiss me.

Strange feelings flooded through me. My skin heated and my pulse quickened. Christ, I didn’t know how to act around this girl.

“Hey,” I whispered, because what the fuck else could I say right now? When she didn’t respond straightaway, I added, “I tried to wake you up. You passed out so I carried you here.” And rubbed my face against yours, but let’s not talk about that.

“Thanks,” she whispered back.

“Did I wake you?”

“No. I was having a bad dream.”

“About what?”

She shook her head weakly. “Being alone.”

“That’s not going to happen. You know that, right?”

Her eyes glistened as she looked about the room to keep from making eye contact. “Anyone that’s ever promised me that has pushed me away somehow. My dad, mom… Ryker. I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but… I don’t have much confidence in anyone anymore.”

Her words were killing me, and I stopped thinking about right or wrong. I pushed her further into the bed and slipped in beside her. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to my side. In my mind I rationalized that showing her I meant my words by being close to her would help to calm her fears. But in my heart I knew it was wrong. If she had any reluctance getting so close, she didn’t show it. She was completely relaxed wrapping an arm around my middle as I said, “I’m a man of my word. You’re not getting rid of me.”