Love Unrehearsed
Page 61“She um . . .” He struggled to speak. “She got cancer. It spread all over into her lungs and shit. She asked me to um, get word to ya when she was saying goodbye to people.”
Thomas quickly sprang from his seat as the first tear escaped his faltering hold, dripping down over the curve of his cheek. He hurried for the men’s room.
Marie grabbed my arm as I tried to rush past her. “What the hell is going on?”
“He just told me Melanie died this morning.”
Marie’s angered face fell and she gasped, releasing the grip she had on my forearm.
“Oh God, no.”
Wasting no time, I hurried after Thomas, snagging his leather jacket, redirecting him into the empty kitchen. I needed him to tell me what happened.
Before I knew it, Thomas pulled me into his arms, wrapping them around me tightly in a hold of desperate need. His fingers knotted into my shirt. I knew it was killing him to show this much weakness, breaking that im-penetrable façade he wore for all the world to see. Sometimes I think that this was the true reason he broke up with me so many times. I was the only girl who could break past that façade and it scared him to death.
As much as it repulsed me to allow my first love this close to me after how deeply he had devastated me, the need to comfort him wiped my hatred away.
I breathed in his familiar scent of leather and spice and skin, causing thousands of memories to surge into my consciousness.
There were times I would have killed to have his love, to have him show me the tenderness and raw emotion that I knew he was capable of. But he always held back—always kept me at a safe distance. But now, at this moment, all of his guards were down and he was sobbing uncontrollably in my arms.
“It’ll be okay,” I said, even though my silly words were nothing more than a reflexive attempt to console him. Things would never be okay for him, his family, or for any of us who loved Melanie. Death is final.
“I thought she was getting better,” he whispered in a higher-pitched tone of pain.
I let him release his pain for a few minutes before whispering, “Tell me what happened.” Thomas rested his forehead on my collar-bone and sniffed. One of his arms released me so he could wipe his eyes, but the other remained firmly locked around my waist. I tried to put some space between us, but as quickly as I tried, he pulled me back to his chest.
“She gasped for fucking air for twelve hours. I’ll never get that sound out of my head. Oh God. Why?” His entire body trembled. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Taryn.
God, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
His lips were awfully close to my neck. I could feel his breath on my skin. “No. It’s not okay. And now it’s too late. It’s all too late. I should have never done what I did to you.” In that moment, I found forgiveness. Life is too short to hold such a monumental grudge.
“What the hell?” Tammy exclaimed when she came through the kitchen door, giving me the evil eye over the top of her sunglasses as she assessed our embrace. “Am I interrupting something?”
I quickly put some space between Thomas and me, not wanting her to get the wrong idea.
“Tammy, you remember Thomas,” I started.
“Uh huh,” she said with a reproachful tone.
“Woman, where did you put the Aspinall catering slip?” Pete stopped short, not believing what he was seeing. “Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?” he growled, stepping up to us.
I put my hand on Pete’s chest to stop him and Thomas from squaring off. Pete had size but Thomas had years of practice; besides, Thomas was emotional. I knew Thomas would much rather pound the shit out of something than cry about it.
“Easy, Pete. Stop.”
“Fuck you, Herman,” Thomas bristled and growled, wiping the remains of his tears away. “Don’t start shit you can’t back up.”
“No. Fuck you, Sager. You’ve got some fucking brass balls coming here. Don’t you think you’ve caused enough damage?”
“Stop it! Both of you.” I turned to Pete.
“He came here to tell us that Mell. . .” Her name caught with a hitch in my throat.
“Melanie passed away this morning, all right?”
Pete’s angered death glare at Thomas instantly fell as he took in my words. “Mel?” I nodded, trying to hold it together. It’d been a long time since I’d seen her but the tragic news of her passing cut fresh and deep. Marie slipped in and put an arm around me, noticeably pulling me away from Thomas. I’d thank her later for that.
Thomas covered his eyes with both hands and let out a sigh.
“Oh God.” Pete hunched over as if he’d been punched in the gut. His unrequited feelings for Mell had messed him up for years. Tammy tried to touch him but he flinched. “What happened?”
“Cancer ate her, asshole.”
I let that one slide. We were all sporting fresh pain.
Pete glared right at him. “Dude, for what it’s worth. Sorry for your loss.” Thomas nodded. “Taryn, can I talk to you?”
Marie tugged me by the shoulders, walking me toward the kitchen doors. “I think we could all use a drink.”
I tapped two small glasses of beer and joined him. Last thing his mother needed was to lose her only other child to a drunken motorcycle accident.
“Thanks for the short,” Thomas said as he spied the small glass with disdain, taking a sip anyway.
I wanted him to get this over with. Seeing him again was tearing me up inside. “You’re planning on riding that death trap you call a bike. Just looking out for your well-being.” The edge of his lip turned up slightly. “I recall you used to beg me to be on the back of my bike.”
“Yeah, well. I didn’t know any better.”
“Ouch.”
“Look, your mom doesn’t need another tragedy today.”
I saw him wince. “Mom’s not taking this well. They actually had to give her something to calm her down.”
I felt bad for his mom. Mrs. Sager always treated me well, siding with me most of the time.
“If she can’t pull it together, would you consider going with me to the funeral home?